THOSE OF YOU READING LOST IN VEGAS, NO, I HAVEN'T ABANDONED THE PROJECT. I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS ONE GODDAMNED ONE-SHOT OUT OF MY HEAD!
MARSHALL LEE AND PG ARE JUST. BUDS.NOTHING MORE. THAT'S ALL. GOT IT? GOOD. SORRY IF IT'S LONG.
OH AND I JUST OWN THE IDEA.
"Since when do you kidnap kings?" Marshall asked from his ice cage. It was about the size of a crate meant for a large dog, so the closest he could come to standing was sitting on his knees.
The ice queen looked affronted. "I didn't kidnap you!"
"Well, well." Mocked the king. "So, I could just, like, walk out of here if I wanted?"
"I borrowed you! Borrowed you with no intention of giving you back!" she knelt down by the cage and took his chin in her palm. "And since you're the sexiest thing in the land of Aaa." She attempted to kiss him, but he pushed the ice queen away. Hard.
Fuming, she pulled herself out of her crater in the wall. Adjusting her tiara, she decided, "Well it looks like we'll just have to get… ah… serious." She unlocked the cage-
And Marshall zipped past her and flew away. He was so delighted to be alone, be free, be single, he barely heard the ice queen's frantic screeches. "SIEZE HIM! SIEZE HIM!" He laughed in delight. Swooping and diving in the sky, scaring fluffy people. He barely noticed flying into the Candy Kingdom. Some people looked up.
Marshall Lee flew in a building, the castle. A woman's scream. Then Gumball's voice, "what the hell, Marshall?! I'm in the friggin' SHOWER, man!"
Taking a moment to stop celebrating, he floated comfortably in the air. Gumball wrapped a pink towel firmly around his waist. "you gotta watch where you're going, Man!"
Marshall laughed. "pardon me, your majesty." He said mockingly. "I just want to celebrate my freedom from the ice queen." He started quite literally bouncing off the walls. With each bounce, he got faster.
"Marshall, be careful." Gumball eyed the mirror he was about three bounces away from. "Marshall! Careful!" two bounces. "MARSHALL!" one bounce. "NO! DON'T-!"
SKRASH!
Tinkle, tinkle.
It wouldn't have been a bad klonker if there wasn't a flash of bright red. Or if Marshall Lee had been screaming his head off. Pulling on his bathrobe, Gumball walked over to a half –conscious pile of king to examine him.
He lay in the cracked mirror frame and a pile of glass. A trickle of blood ran through his thick dark hair. His lips parted in a silent moan. Gumball felt the crown of the king's head, his fingers brushing against some glass fragments, splinters and skull. "oooohhhhh….." moaned Marshall. Gumball pulled away.
"Marshall Lee?" he grunted. "Marshall, I'm taking you to my lab, fix you up in no time, OK?"
"'K, I guess." The king grumbled. Pulling him to his feet, Gumball realized he had two problems.
Marshall Lee definitely had a fractured skull.
And 2.) Fionna would kill him if Marshall died.
Marshall didn't know how he got into a hospital gown. He regained consciousness on a table…
…an operating table, he might add. The vampire king did not do operating tables. They meant needles, sharp things, stings of medicine, and god knew what else. But, whatever, he guessed. Forcing his eyes open was a project. He looked up from where he lay at two men. Both in scrubs, both wearing masks, both princes. He attempted to sit up. It was then that he noticed the thick leather strap trapping him to the operating table. He attempted to speak.
"gr… grrrunnnklllik… mmmllluurrp…"
"easy," said one of them. He recognized its voice. Gumball. "lay still-" like I have an option. Thought Marshall. "-you know Dr. Prince. We're just going to sew you up. So, if you don't mind, may we examine you?"
Bringing on a fresh wave of nausea, Marshall Lee nodded.
Unable to believe their luck, Gumball and Dr. Prince got to work. While Gumball shaved a small section of hair around the operating site, Dr. Prince started filling syringes. Marshall saw them out of the corner of his eye and squirmed uncomfortably. "when was the last time you had a tetanus shot?"
Gaining his speech again, the king managed, "n…never, I gue… I guess."
"well," said Dr. Prince, readying the syringe. "we can fix that." He placed the tip of the needle on the carotenoid artery. Marshall ground his teeth over this painful prick and the next ones.
"measles?"
"no."
"radiation poisoning?"
"no."
"anything?"
"No."
Finally Gumball had enough. "Would you kindly save your shots for another date? I promise I'll get him a check-up soon and you can give him all the injections you want! But right now I need to get the glass out of his head!"
Dr. Prince looked insulted, put down the syringe, and after cleaning Marshall's arm left. Now it was just Gumball and Marshall alone in the operating room together. This wouldn't be that awkward, if only Marshall weren't wearing a sterile green dress that matched Gumball's green scrubs.
They sat in silence a while as the prince kept up the constant plink, plink, plink of glass, wood and skull into the moon-shaped surgical tray. "Guess I shoulda listened to you, huh, PG?"
"No, what you should've done was watched where you're going. Why were you bouncing around anyway?"
"I was celebrating escaping the ice queen. Which, by the way, I did without the help of a thirteen-year-old girl and her cat."
"She opened your cage to do you?"
"Yeah. And I didn't even need to be like, 'save me , Fionna, I'm too weak to get out of this friggin' ice cage without the help of your cute little bunny hat!'"
"You really should consider all the violent things I could do to you while I'm in here."
Marshall decided to be quiet. "This first operation?"
Gumball stroked the king's cheek with a gloved finger, leaving a small smear of blood where it had traced. "Don't you worry. I've done this like eighteen times."
"I'm not a gummi bear."
"Very funny."
The pile was growing to mountain size. Gumball's hand came into view and put down the tweezers and picked up- oh, glob. Marshall shut his eyes tight and tried not to picture the suture needle and surgical thread that had just been picked up.
"Okay, hold your head real still." There was a tugging sensation in his scalp and Marshall bit his tongue to keep from passing out. He scrambled to grab onto the closest thing he could, which was-
-the candy princes hand. They both blushed as the suture needle passed through the scalp. "So,uh, will you have to take them out or will they just dissolve? The stitches I mean."
"Some will dissolve, some will have to be removed."
"How many will I have to get out?"
Gumball was silent. Then, "around 200." Thinking to add something, he said, "but you'll have a decent-sized scar to charm the ladies."
Marshall chuckled. "Guess I will."
Sometime later, the needle and what was left of the thread were put down. He felt cotton squares tied to his head with a sterile white bandage. "Thanks, Man." He got up and headed for the door.
Gumball removed his scrubs, revealing his regular prince outfit. "No prob. You need any medical help, then, hey, just ask."
As they walked to the foyer, they laughed, joked and talked like old bros. when they got to the door, they stumbled across Fionna, looking slightly pissed. "There you are, you enormous pussy! You were supposed to meet me in the gardens an hour ago! And Marshall Lee the Vampire King, what did you do to your head?!"
The boys were silent.
Then broke into enourmousfits of laughter.
END