By:
Neko-chan
Disclaimer: I do not own Linkin Park and their CD, Hybrid Theory. Therefore, I do not own the song "Papercut." I also do not own Digimon. (PU!! .!!) This is my first Digimon ficcie, so please be kind when you review. *teary eyes* Please? Oh, and all flames will be used to roast my marshmallows. Yummy! =^.^=
**Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed/But
I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It's like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
[And watches everything]
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me/Right underneath my skin**
Matt stared into the lake's water, narrowing his eyes at the image it presented to him. Someone weak--someone who let others have control of him----someone who didn't deserve to lead. He snarled at the water, slapping the surface with one gloved hand.
"That's not me!!" he yelled, his eyes slits. He backed away from the lake, still glaring darkly. "That's not me!" he repeated. "That can't be me!! I'm not like that!!"
But....what if that IS me?? he thought to himself, all the while glaring at the water. What if that.....that.....that THING is just showing me the real me? The me that I've been denying?
"But that is you......" the thing that appeared to be a lake hissed; it seemed to be reading Matt's thoughts, and he backed even further away. "I'm just showing you what you are.....inside. What you deny......what you've always denied. I'm just trying to help you, my little Digidestined......"
Matt growled deep in his throat, then ran as fast as he could away from the strange Digimon. I'm not like that.....I'm NOT!! I'm different from that. I'm strong. If I had wanted, I could have led. But I didn't want to!! I wanted to be alone; to do things my own way!! NO ONE controls me........no one!!
Matt ran faster and faster, desperate to get away from the Digimon and from his own doubting thoughts. He finally made it to the trees and leaned against a tree with a large trunk, breathing deeply.
**It's like I'm/Paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a/Whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I/Can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like that face is right beneath my skin**
And there, when he sat down among the roots, breathing deeply, taking large gulps of air, his eyes closed, he came to him. Him....the person Matt had secretly feared all of his life. His deepest, darkest self. The self he hid from the world. Matt closed his eyes tighter. "Oh......no...." he whispered as the person materialized in his mind.
The darker Matt smirked, his pale eyes heavy lidded. Hello, Matt, he said mockingly. How are ya holdin' up, bro? The smile became more evil, more self-satisfied. Not well, according to that Digimon, eh? After all, you don't like admitting that you're a coward, even to yourself. You like it when other people boss you around; you don't have to make decisions for yourself and others. You don't have to be responsible for them, ne?
Matt quickly shook his head, his tousled blonde hair flying around his face. "No....it's not true!! It's not true!! I could've led, but I didn't want to!! I'm not a coward!! I'm NOT!!!"
The evil one tipped back his head and laughed, his lips quirked in a sensual smile. Oh, no, my little one? Is that what you tell yourself? You're lying, you know. To yourself, and to the others. You're a coward, plain and simple.
"I'M NOT A COWARD!!" Matt screamed, his eyes flinging open. He stood up, panting heavily. "I'M NOT!! I'VE PROVED MYSELF TO THE OTHERS PLENTY OF TIMES!! I'M NOT A COWARD; I KNOW THAT AND MY FRIENDS KNOW IT TOO!!!"
**I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can
But everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when they close their eyes
A face that watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
[And watches everything]
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too/Right inside your skin**
"Matt?" Tai asked, blinking, as he walked out from a group of trees to Matt's right. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? I thought I heard you screaming. Is everything alright?"
Matt looked away and mumbled, "Yeah, everything's okay, Tai. Nothing is wrong. Thanks for checking with me."
Tai grinned. "It's no prob, buddy. Come on, the others are waiting for us. We've decided to walk around for a little while more."
Matt nodded, and started to follow after Tai. But he stopped.
The darker Matt smirked once again. Prove that you aren't a coward, little Matt. Prove that you can lead. Take the leadership away from Tai. Prove once and for all that you're strong enough to take a leadership; prove once and for all that you aren't a coward. To me, to the Digimon, to the others....to yourself. Take the leadership from Tai; I dare you!
"Tai...." Matt began. Tai blinked and turned around.
"What, Matt? Is something wrong?" What he saw surprised him. Matt was smirking; his smirk was self-satisfied and dark. One could say.....evil. Tai stared at Matt for a moment. Then he, too, smirked.
**The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me**