This is the tragedy that happened when I tried to get help with my character developement. Allison got specialifed by my nutso friends, but I figured she should have her 15 minutes of fame. And it is a super freaky commercial.
Claimer: Me and my pals mad all this up off the top of our heads. We own it all. W00t!
One fine day, a strange young teenager by the name of Allison sat staring out of her bedroom window, reflecting on her life. It was a sad, pallid one, filled with much-
"Hey, who's there?" Allison called out, looking up. "Steven, is that you being a jerk again?"
As I was saying, Alli-
"You aren't Steven, who the hell are you?" Allison asked. "And why are you in my house?"
She reflected on her seven children from ten different fathers-
"What the hell!? That's impossible!" Allison yelled in the general direction of the voice. Just as she did, Alyssa Knoll burst into her room.
"Hi!" Alyssa yelled a foot away from Allison's ear. "Do you have seven children, eight mental illnesses and a job at the suicide hotline?"
"Holy shit!" Allison yelled, falling off her bed. Alyssa gasped and waved her right index finger.
"Tsk tsk." Alyssa said. "Not only is cursing bad, that was an oxymoron! YOU SHALL NEVER COMMIT AN OXYMORON IN MY PRESENSE!" She was still only a foot away from Allison's ears.
As Allison did have seven children by ten different fathers, eight mental illnesses and a job at the suicide hotline, she felt the need to listen to Alyssa.
"Ah." Allison moaned. "My eardrum." Alyssa turned to her, holding a picture of Smilie A/N: Smilie is a registered trademark of Alyssa Knoll. If you attempt to steal Smilie from Alyssa, she will sic both my evil ninja bunnies and her hoard of flying on you. Ha-ha sucka.
"Do you need a hobby to increase your character development?" Alyssa asked, still smiling and holding a picture of Smilie. "Cause Aysia" She rolled her eyes at her friend's weird nickname of the week. "Thinks you need character development."
"I'm deaf in one ear now, I think I'm developed." Allison said softly.
"Don't be silly!" Alyssa exclaimed. "You need artistic flair!" In the background, Why Can't I played softly. "Flair, not Phair!" The music stopped. "You need an artistic passion!" Alyssa told Allison. "You need something to do after you get off work at the suicide hotline."
"I don't work at the suicide hotline." Allison said. "I'm only 14. I can't get a job anywhere in the state of Arkansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, or Michigan."
"You should be an expressionist painter!" Alyssa said. "You can express your feelings using this!" She shoved a shampoo bottle in Allison's face.
"Lettuce… Pomegranate… Shampoo." Allison read slowly. As she finished saying the word "Shampoo", Hoshi and Katana burst through the door. "WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE COMING FROM?!?!"
"Japan." Katana said.
"Outside of the door" Hoshi said at the same time. "Alyssa, Tana, you guys backslash girls ready?" Alyssa and Katana nodded, then burst into song.
" Smells like pomegranate
Tastes like lettuce
Lettuce Pomegranate Shampoo!
/Alyssa squeak/" The trio trilled to a now very terrified Allison.
That's right folks. For just $4.99and ninety-nine hundredths of a cent, you too can own Lettuce Pomegranate Shampoo! It's so amazing, you'll never want to give it up. Even the popping fresh lettuce taste is addictive, due to the huge amounts of caffeine and nicotine we put in the stuff. Buy it fast, before China fills it with lead poisoning!
"Free Smilie!" Alyssa yelled, drawing Smilie on Allison's shirt.
"All these crazy people." Allison said, her eye twitching. "In my house…" In the background, Why Can't I? began playing again.
Poor Allison. My friends really hurt her character. Ah well