I love you.
The thought tore through her mind again as the cart lurched forward, breaking their kiss. She hoped somehow that he would feel her words even though she couldn't voice them again.
I love you.
His lip quirked upward as he met her eyes, and she knew he understood. She knew him well enough to understand that he by no means thought they were going to die; he was a jedi after all. She remembered Qui-Gon's death well enough to know that being a jedi didn't make someone immortal. Even so, she wasn't about to give up, no matter the odds.
It happened way too fast; one moment she was slipping a lock pick into her mouth, and the next she was watching the nexu climb up the post after her.
The executions didn't last long.
The three of them, herself, Anakin, and Obi-Wan, had barely freed themselves of their bonds when Gunray was permitted to have her shot.
Naturally, Anakin wasn't about to let that happen. He didn't have his lightsaber, but had blocked the shot before she even realised it was coming. He blocked it with his body.
Before her mind had even realised what had happened, the sound of a hundred lightsabers erupted around the stadium. Mace Windu was the first to jump down into the arena, and without anything being said, chaos ensued.
But none of this mattered. A battle was starting, and for the first time in Padme's life, she didn't even care enough to notice. As if in a trance, she caught Ani, her Ani before he fell.
"Anakin?" she said, her voice barely a whisper. She tried to say more, but found no sound would come out of her mouth.
What a fitting time for her voice to desert her; when she finally had things, so many important things to say.
"Shh...Shhh..." he said. "It's not your fault." His voice was ragged, he could barely talk, and he was comforting her. That didn't seem right, that didn't seem right at all. The blaster shot had been meant for her and if it had hit the right place, then he could be comforting her. But this was wrong, and the bullet had missed.
"I...I love you," he whispered. "I was going to say that back to you earlier, you know, when we were on that hover cart. But then it pulled away..." She gently put a finger to his lips; he shouldn't be straining himself. She needed to find medical help, she told herself. He would be fine.
Except he wouldn't be fine. They were in the middle of a kriffing beast arena and there was no one to help Anakin. She forced herself to look at the wound, and its placement.
Even if they were in the middle of a top notch medical facility, he wouldn't be okay. Padme brushed her fingers over the wound; the blaster bolt had cauterized it.
He was dying and he couldn't even bleed.
A small cry escaped her lips as her voice finally freed itself, and tears came with it.
"Shh..." he whispered again. "It'll be okay." His eyes grew distant; his time was short.
"Padme..." he said, his voice more ragged than ever. "I-I..." He reached his hand toward her face. Then the hand fell to the ground. He never finished that sentence.
He was gone.
No, he couldn't be. But he was, and as she felt more tears fall, Padme felt as if her insides were tearing apart. She couldn't breathe.
I can't breathe. The very words Anakin had used to describe his feelings for her, now come back to haunt her. If only she had listened. She remembered the two kisses they'd shared, and all the opportunities for more they could have had in between, if only she had listened. She had thought that she could reject him, move on, but such thoughts were foolishness. As if she could forget his touch, his eyes, the way they seemed to stare right into her soul. As if she could forget the bright, blinding light that accompanied only him, and the darkness that was inevitably buried nside it.
As if she could bear to lose the way he made her feel, the way he made her forget everything except his smile. For a short string of moments, he had made her feel like herself again, like Padme, not just the politician that for so long she had believed herself to be.
He was gone now, but she would never be the same.
If she hadn't been distracted, if she had cared enough to notice what was going on around her, she would have noticed the Jedi were failing. Master Windu hadn't given the signal before he jumped, so the rest of the jedi had been in a confused panic coming in. Dooku sent the battle droids in immediately after, and the jedi were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers. Windu refused to surrender, but the next time Dooku offered, he was no longer alive. The remaining jedi had no choice but to surrender, and the war was all but lost before it had even begun.
As if any of it mattered.
Padme allowed herself to be led away by Separatists, hardly aware of her surroundings. She didn't know if they were to execute her or hold her hostage, but it hardly mattered.
Death didn't seem so bad anymore.
I love you.
Author's Note:
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