Twilight Trivia!
by i.luv.vamps
Episode1
(Disclaimer : I own i.luv.vamps and the plot, and Stephanie Meyer owns verything else. But I have ballet shoes!)
i.luv.vamps : Hellooo Twilighters!
Adience : -aplause-
i.luv.vamps : Hey! I'm your host, i.luv.vamps, and i'm here on everyone's favorite vampire/werewolf/human/Game/Talkshow to talk to the real characters of Twilight about Twilight the movie!
Audience : -aplause-
i.luv.vamps : to day we will be talking to -drumroll- the guys of Twilight!
-In walk Emmett, Jasper, Edward, and Jacob-
Fangirls : EDWAAAAAARD!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!
Edward : -Waves and gives a dazzeling smile-
Emmett : Hey? What about us?
Fangirls : We love you too, Emmett and Jasper!!
Jacob : What about me? -tomato is thrown in face-
i.luv.vamps : So the game we are going to play today is -drumroll- what do you think of the Twilight Movie!
Audience : -more aplause-
i.luv.vamps : Alright, here are the rules. I ask you a question. If you get 1 wrong, a tomato is thrown at you. 2 wrong, a pie is thrown in your face. Three wrong, and have to let someone of the opposite . . . mythology give you a haircut! 4 wrong, and you're handed over to the fangirls! Alright then, first question, who is the best character in the movie?
Edward : I beleive our characters were all equally great.
Audience : -cricket noises-
i.luv.vamps : There's such a thing as too polite Eddy.
Emmett : Me
Jasper : Alice
Audience : Aaaawww!!
Jacob : Me
i.luv.vamps : You're all wrong! The answer is Jasper!
Everyone : Why?
i.luv.vamps : Because his character can play the Guitar! Can any of you play the guitar?!
Twilight Guys : -silence-
i.luv.vamps. : I didn't think so!
- tomato is thrown at Edward, Emmett, and Jacob -
Emmett : What about Jasper?!
i.luv.vamps : Jasper is too sweet for a tomato, so, he gets a free pass!
Jacob : That's not Fair! - tomato's thrown in face -
i.luv.vamps : Okay! Second question, there is no wrong answer, we'd just like to know. What is your power?
Edward : mind reading
Jasper : emotion minipulation
Emmett : Unusally strong for an average vampire.
Jacob : The Power of love. - tomato is thrown in face -
Jacob : I thought you said there were no wrong answers?!
i.luv.vamps : That was for telling the biggest lie in the history of ... EVERYTHING!!
i.luv.vamps : Moving on. Question 3 Who does Edward look like?
Edward : Why me?
i.luv.vamps : because I said so!!
Edward : I look like . . . me?
Emmett : The guy who died in Harry Potter!
Edward : I do not!
i.luv.vamps : Sorry, but you kinda do. Moving on. Jacob?
Jacob : A blood sucking leech without a soul.
Edward : :(
Audience : -Throws lot's of pies at jacob-
Edward : :)
Jasper : Have you ever noticed Edward kind of looks like Cornelius from Thumbelina? Minus the wings.
i.luv.vamps : OMG he does!
Audience : -Gasps-
Everyone : -Stares at Edward-
Edward : Ummm...
Emmett: Edward looks like a fairy! (A.N. fairy. not plural.)
Edward : -growls at Emmett-
Emmett : Oh no Eddy! Don't come beat me up with your big macho wings!
i.lu.vamps : hey, be nice.
Emmett : you've gotta admit it was funny!
i.luv.vamps : It was, but still.
Emmett : Fine.
i.luv.vamps : Okay, next question. If you've never read Twilight, what would you think of it if you just watched the movie?
Edward : You'd think It was a wonderful story!
Emmett : You'd think it had a strong plot and and a great climax!
Jasper : You'd feel it was one of the best stories ever told!
Jacob : You'd say it sucked!
Audience : -What the hell?-
i.luv.vamps : Sucked!? Have you seen the comercial!
Jacob : Yea. And there wasn't enough me in it. That's why it sucks.
i.luv.vamps : Shame, shame Jacob, never judge a book by it's movie! That's three wrong questions Jake! Edward do the honors.
Edward : -looks at Jake with Evil scissors.-
Jake : But you said if we never read the book what would we think!!
i.luv.vamps : yea, but you insulted Twilight, so It's time for a hair cut!! Mwahahahaha!!
Jacob's thoughts : please don't do a mowhawk! Bella hates those!! Crap, he can hear my thoughts!
Edward : Mowhawk time! -gives Jake a Mowhawk-
Far Away At the Cullen House . . .
Bella : Eeew! It's all Mowhawkey!
Back at the Twilight Trivia TV Show . . .
Jake : NOOOOO!!
Far away at the Cullen House . . .
Alice : Bella, the Mowhawk isn't that bad. Can you stop throwing up so we can turn the T.V. Back on?
Bella : okay.
On TV . . .
i.luv.vamps : sorry, but you went too far when you said Twilight sucked. Okay, moving on. Next and final question. If you could pick one girl besides the one that you're with to date, who would it be?
Bella : They
Alice : Are so
Rosalie : Dead.
Back at the Twilight trivia TV show . . .
Twilight Guys : -Start sweating and tugging on collars-
i.luv.vamps : Vampires can sweat?!
Stephanie Meyer : Apparently. They're not supposed to but, . . .
Twilight Guys : Mommy!!
Fan Girls : Stephanie Meyer!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!
Stephanie Meyer : Oh Crap. -runs away-
Cullen Guys : -huddle, and whisper-
Jacob's thoughts : All bye myself, I don't wanna be all by myself ANYMORE!!
i.luv.vamps : Tick Tock!
Edward : We all would never be able to stand going on a date with anyone besides who we're with now because . . . because . . .
Jasper : if we did, we would be cheating on them and . . . that would be bad because . . . because . . .
Emmett : because Cullen Men always play fair!
Back at the Cullen House . . .
Twilight Girls : Aaawww!
Back at the Twilight Trivia show . . .
Audience : Aaawww!
i.luv.vamps : Jacob. You're not a Cullen Man, who would you date?
Jacob : That's easy! Bella!
Back at the Cullen House . . .
Bella : Not with that Mowhawk!
Back at the Twilight Trivia TV Show . . .
-Paul stands up in the audience-
Paul : You Dick! I thought what we had was special! -runs away crying-
Jacob : Paul! Wait, please!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
i.luv.vamps : Eeew! Get off my Stage! Security!!
Jacob : I'm a werewolf. Which human is going to be strong enough to kick me out?
i.luv.vamps : -smirks- who said he was a human.
-Felix walks in-
i.luv.vamps : take him out Felix.
-Felix towers over Jacob.-
Felix : Little man. You die today.
Jacob : -squeals-
-Felix beats up Jacob-
Everyone : ooo, ouch that's gotta hurt!
-Jacob is thrown to the fangirls-
Random Fangirl : HE CALLED TWILIGHT A SUCKY BOOK/MOVIE!
Random fangirl #2 : YEA AND HE INSULTED EDWARD!!
Queen of the Fangirls : Get him.
Fangirls : Charge!!
Jacob : AAAAAHHH!!
i.luv.vamps : Well it looks like we're out of time here! Catch us next week when we meet with -drumroll- the Cullen Girls!
In the background . . .
Fangirls : Eat It!!
Jacob : No! Please! Not the Cat Food!!
i.luv.vamps : I'm your host, i.luv.vamps, and this is Twilight Trivia!
In the background . . .
Paul : -gives Edward a peice of paperwith his # on it-
Edward : What the hell!
i.luv.vamps : Thanks for watching!
(A.N. Okay, so I was having some writers block for the Blank Paged Book, so I decided to check this story out. I look at the Calender, and it's 2 days before the end of the challenge. 2 DAYS!! So, I tried writing up two more chapters really fast, but lets just say it wasn't exactly, well, good. Writing can't be rushed you know. One more thing, This is for Dani Cullen's Challenge, but it's a one shot. I hope I can still qualify for second or third, or seventeenth place even, because I tried to write more, I really did, but it just didn't work out. Still consider me judges!! Okay. This A.N. is almost longer then the story, so I'll end it now.)