I was inspired to write this one-shot when I was listening to All Time Low's Oh! Calamity. You should listen to it while reading this. And in advance thanks for reading this! Twilight is owned by Stephanie Meyer!
"Was it worth it? The letting go? The sacrifices?" Bella asks. They are sitting on the bench, side by side while facing the bay. It was already night and all they can see is darkness with some small twinkles above the skies. It is one of those rare nights where they would see each other and then talk about everything. They would look to the bay or the skies above count the stars they can see, predict what will happen tomorrow or in the future. They would talk about all the problems they keep inside, all those curious thoughts they want to let out, all the anger that they manage to lie low but needed to vent out, all those wondering on how was the earth made or are aliens real?
They even talked about time machine. Is it possible to have one? If it is, wouldn't it be helpful but destructive too? Edward even once said that people won't focus on the future anymore if they think that they could always change their actions back in the past.
Well, well, well, time to eat your own words Mr. Cullen.
These kind of rare nights used to be 'all-the-time' nights but things do happen.
Edward sighs and looks down. He repeats the question in his mind. Was it really worth it?
"I don't know." He confesses. He was lost. Like a little boy inside a mall full of strangers, looking for his mother or father that shouts home because home is comfort. And in a world full of chaos and regrets, we need comfort in our minds, in our hearts.
Bella laughed and puts her hand in the pocket of her jacket. It was windy tonight and chilly, looks like winter is around the corner.
"Are you happy?" She asks. "With who you are right now…are you happy?"
"Being a doctor is not…that bad. I get to help people and miraculously save lives." He answered and chuckles. His voice hinted happiness yet there was a restraint of something hidden deep inside, something that is repressed, something that is screaming and wants to get out.
"Yeah." Bella agrees. "You're like a modern hero or something plus you get to earn lots of money." She jokes which is true. He gets thousands of dollars; his paycheck is more than enough for a single person living by himself.
"You know I didn't have a choice right?" Edward says and looks at Bella. And for a short period of time Bella's breath stopped and her heart skipped a beat. Choice. He didn't have a choice. That line triggered something red inside her. Should she be angry? Should she shout and tell him the things she has kept for years? All those thoughts and feelings that can't be phantom into words?
Should she? She smiles.
It's too late.
Bella looks at him and answers. "You had a choice. You were just too innocent to man up to it. You were just a boy back then." Even after everything she still chooses too see the good side of the story, the good reasons on why things happen the way they are right now.
She always sees the good in everything all the time. And that is what he likes the most about her.
Edward looked at her in the eyes and he sees that pained expression her eyes hide. Her face is an exquisite beauty that hides a million of scars. And everytime he realizes how many cuts he had done to it he cringes, disgusted to himself. He could have save all this regret his heart carries but he didn't…he didn't.
"I have a choice right now right?" He asks or pleads. Right now at this moment he is desperate to win everything back.
But life is unfair.
"Edward." She calls out his name. How he loves it when he hears it from her mouth, through her voice.
"You can't choose the consequences for every choice you make." She pauses and smiles at him. "It is just not how it happens."
"Do you really have to go?" Edward asks.
"Do you really have to go Edward?" Bella answered.
And that confirmed all those hopes he had while he was away, all the faith he tried to keep and all the dreams that was shattered just seconds ago.
It all fell back into pieces.
He was not late.
Because on the first place…
It was never meant to happen.