A/N: Yeah, it's been a while… I haven't really been coming up with ideas lately. So if you have any suggestions, please let me know in a review! S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders, and I put in a few lines from the book in this story. These will be bold and in italics.
Darry's POV
Ponyboy had gotten such a good grade on his theme that his English teacher let him pass with a B instead of a C. I was so proud of him, and I decided to read it so I could see what was so outstanding about it.
The Outsiders.
I picked it up, flipping through the pages. 180 of them. I raised my eyebrows. My brother had written an entire book! This must have been awful important to him for it to be more than five pages. I wonder what it's about, I thought as I began to read.
When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.
Wait, is this…? Is this about us? The gang? I continued reading. Maybe this could help me better understand how Ponyboy thinks.
I was nearing the end of the first chapter. Boy did I find out. This really hit me hard.
Darry love me? I thought of those hard, pale eyes. Soda was wrong for once. Darry didn't love anyone or anything, except maybe Soda. I didn't hardly think of him as being human. I don't care, I lied to myself, I don't care about him either. Soda's enough, and I'd have him until I got out of school…
I knew Pony most likely didn't feel like this anymore since we have been getting along better, but it still stung. I had been so hard on Pony before that he thought I didn't care about him. I sighed and continued reading again.
I got to chapter three and huffed when Pony wrote that he thought he had plenty of time before he had to get home. Thankfully he wears a watch now. It irritated me even more that he wasn't wearing a sweater when it was freezing out that night.
I tensed up when I got to the part where he came home late. I considered skipping this part so I wouldn't have to relive it, but I reluctantly kept going. When I finished the chapter, I put the book down and leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes. From my point of view, Pony had been careless and I just yelled because I was afraid something could've happened to him. But coming from his point of view, I just sounded mean and scary, and when I… when I hit him it must've proved to Pony that I really was cold and uncaring.
I felt even more terrible now about hitting him than I did that night. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself.
Ponyboy's POV
One day I came home from school to see Darry sitting in his chair, reading my theme for English class I had finished not long ago. He didn't have work that day because he reluctantly agreed to take a day off after Soda and I managed to persuade him that he needed it badly. Darry was so engrossed in reading that he didn't notice me come in. My heart sped up and I started biting my nails nervously. I kinda knew he would probably read it eventually but I didn't expect it to be so soon. How was he going to react? I wasn't afraid he would be mad at me, but it was more like I was afraid he would feel bad. I mean, I had referred to him as cold and inhuman. How much of it had he gotten through so far?
He put my theme down and leaned back in his chair. I hesitantly walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. "Hey, Darry." He looked up at me with sad eyes. When he started to speak it sounded like he was trying hard to control his emotions.
"Hey, Pony… I, uh… I mean, did you…" he trailed off. I've never seen Darry so unsure of what to say. I knew all the things I had written about him in those first three chapters were probably running through his head. Now that Darry and I were getting along, I realized as I was writing how much a lot of it would sting my brother. He looked at his right hand guiltily, probably regretting about hitting me. This made me feel guilty too, imagining how he must have felt the whole time I was gone. And I caused him all this grief by coming home too late.
I know a lot of people would say there's never a good excuse to hit someone like that, heck, Darry probably thinks that too. But I had a bad excuse for staying out too late, and it would've been easy for me to have avoided the whole mess. I went to the lot with Johnny because I thought I still had plenty of time before curfew. I wear a watch now. Anyway, I can see how scared Darry must have been until I finally walked in the door that night. The fact that Johnny and I got jumped and I was nearly drowned by those Socs later proved that Darry had a very good reason to be scared.
With a jolt, I also realized that if it wasn't for Johnny, I really might have died. I tried not to think of the terrible anguish and devastation that would have caused Darry. He was sorry enough already.
"You really thought all that about me? I didn't realize I was being so hard on you. I'm so sorry, Pony. I'm a lousy brother," Darry sighed, and I frowned.
"No, you're not. I don't think of you like that anymore. I'm sorry I did and that you had to read about it. We just never took the time to try and understand each other before. And if you're still feeling guilty about hitting me, stop it. I understand, and I know you didn't mean to. I forgive you." I smiled, hoping he would forgive himself too. He looked relieved but still a little sad.
"Do you wish Soda was guardian instead?" he asked quietly.
"What?" Was he thinking that I'd be happier without him? "That's crazy, Dar. Sure, Soda helps out but he couldn't do it on his own. We both need you. We wouldn't rather have anyone else, you're our brother. It wouldn't be the same without you. It's bad enough without Mom and Dad…" I quieted down at that last part. None of us liked to bring that up. It still hurt too much. Darry smiled and I pulled him into a hug.
"Thanks, little buddy."
I hoped if other people decided to read my theme besides my English teacher, they wouldn't finish reading it thinking badly of Darry, or blame him for what happened. He doesn't deserve that; he really is a good guardian and brother. Sure, he messed up, but he's only human and I forgive him. I guess, in a way, I had been too hard on Darry too. Maybe he thought I didn't love him, while all the time I was thinking he didn't care about me.
I had been wrong about the Socs too. Not all of them were heartless, and just because they have lots of money doesn't mean they're happy. They might not have to worry about bills, but they also might not have the greatest family.
I really hope what I said really got through to my brother. We had a fair share of problems too, but the three of us are better off than most greasers. And it's all thanks to Darry.