Dedicated to AbeoUmbra who is one of the most awesome writers I have ever met in honor of her b-day
She wrote Dragon!Smut. And Yaoi Dragon!Smut at that and so she should be worshipped.
Disclaimer: If I owned then there wouldn't be any doubt in anyone's mind that Sora and Riku were gay.
Notes: It's not smut, but it amuses me. Set Prior to the first game, so the boys are about 14-15.
Warnings: Sora/Riku. And that special brand of humor that either makes you love it or hate it.
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"Riku...Did you steal my sock?" Riku blinked, almost falling out of the paopu tree at the randomness of Sora's question. Sora almost always asked at least one off the wall question three times a day, so he wasn't as surprised as he could've been. Though the sock bit... was new.
"Sora. Why would I want to steal your sock?" He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Sora grinned up at him.
"Because you wanted to make an awesome sock puppet and you didn't want to use your own sock." Riku stared at Sora for a few seconds, then glanced down at his shoes to make sure his own socks were still in place. You never knew with Sora, he might be trying to pin the blame on you or he might be trying to divert attention from his own misdeeds. Or he simply might be an idiot, Riku wasn't quite sure.
"That sounds more like something you would do." Riku stated; satisfied that both of his socks were in place and not on someone's hand with stuff glued to it. He blinked as an incident involving Tidus, Tidus's sock, and Sora's fascination with superglue came to mind. "Actually, that is something you have done..."
"That doesn't matter. It was in the past." Sora said, waving it off like it hadn't caused an island-wide riot as Tidus turned every rock and tree over for his missing sock only to find it on Sora's hand with glitter and various other girly things glued on it. Riku had had to restrain Tidus from beating Sora to death with that red stick he was so fond of while Selphie and Wakka shouted encouragement and Kairi giggled. Tidus's mom had almost exploded when they got Tidus, bruised and beaten with a glitter-covered sock with eyes on his left foot and a plain white one on his right, home that night.
Riku stared at Sora for a second before shaking his head and redirecting his gaze to the ocean, hoping that if he ignored him long enough, Sora would go away. After dealing with Sora for all of his life, living less than a stone's throw away from the idiot, he really should've known better. Sora never gave up on anything until he was either proved wrong or Riku beat the crap out of him with a stick, which he had to admit, was looking better by the second.
"So what did you do with my sock Riku?" Riku groaned.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't have your sock?" Sora blinked, staring at Riku like he had grown two heads. Riku resisted the urge to bang his head against the tree until he either bled or was unconscious. Sora was very intelligent, Riku had no doubt of that, but despite being a brunet, there were times when Sora's blonde-ness rivaled even Tidus's, who had once attacked a tree and lost.
"But if you don't have my sock... Then who does?" Sora asked, looking very confused as though he had honestly believed Riku had stolen his sock. The beating-Sora-to-unconsciousness-with-a-stick plan was slowly becoming more appealing, especially if it got the boy to shut up about his freaking sock. Riku loved Sora, he truly did, but he could care less about his clothing so long as all the proper places were covered and he was wearing his clothing correctly. Sora had once wore his pants backwards for a week when he was five, Riku had laughed himself silly every time he saw him.
"Why don't you ask Tidus?" Everyone knew that since the aforementioned incident, Tidus had been touchy about socks. Just mentioning one around him was a guarantee to be beaten upside the head with a stick for a good hour or so.
"Cause he's still mad about the sock-puppet incident." It seems that Sora had wised up. Or maybe he had finally gained a survival instinct, which would cut Riku's entertainment down by seventy-five percent.
"Selphie?"
"She said that she didn't care about my smelly sock." And Sora didn't get that Riku didn't either, he just wanted him to leave him alone and stop talking about his missing sock.
"Wakka..." Riku sighed, knowing that the older boy probably cared less than Selphie.
"Is still laughing about Tidus being forced to wear Mr. Bubbles." Riku nearly fell out of the tree again from the force of swinging his head around to stare at the younger teen.
"Who is Mr. Bubbles?" Sora pouted.
"My sock-puppet, duh." Riku stared at Sora like he had grown an extra limb from his forehead and was using it to wave around the Canadian flag.
"You named... Tidus's sock... Mr. Bubbles." Riku stated slowly, glancing about the island to be sure that there were plenty of sticks to hit Sora with just in case the first one he picked up broke. Sora had a really hard head. Sora blinked at him.
"What else would you name a sock puppet?" Riku continued to stare at Sora. It was starting to really freak the younger boy out.
"Sora." Riku said calmly. The blue-eyed one tried to conceal a shiver. Riku only used that tone when he was about to explode and when Riku exploded, people usually got put into the hospital 'cause the silver-haired one didn't know the meaning of 'gentle'.
"Yes Riku?" Sora said timidly, wondering what he had done to provoke Riku's wrath this time.
"It has got to the point where either you must leave or I must bludgeon you to death with the nearest blunt object." Sora thought about it for a moment and decided that he didn't want to explain a concussion to his mother. Again.
He turned to leave. "And Sora,"
"Yes Riku."
"I love you."
"I love you too...Please don't kill me." Sora wailed, throwing himself down at Riku's feet and sobbing into Riku's sneaker. Riku sweatdropped, staring down at Sora like he had lost his mind as the boy began to wail.
"All I wanted was my sock." Sora cried, great big tears rolling down his face. Riku blinked as something occurred to him.
"Sora... Do you even wear socks?" There was a pause in the crying. Sora sniffed.
"Yay!! Riku found my sock." Sora cheered, Riku still staring at him like he was a person from another planet. Riku shook his head in disbelief.
"Sora, I swear to god, your mother must've dropped you on your head repeatedly when you were a baby." Sora blinked, looking up at the older boy.
"But you still love me right?" Riku snorted.
"Yeah, I still love you. God only knows why, but I love you."
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Alternate Ending:
"I love you too...Please don't kill me." Sora wailed, throwing himself down at Riku's feet and sobbing into Riku's sneaker. Riku sweatdropped and closed his eyes for a second, then opened them in a flash.
"Sora! Get back here with my sock, you little thief!!" Riku roared, throwing himself out of the paopu tree and chasing after the laughing brunet.
"I'll never surrender Mr. Bubbles the Fifteenth."
"Just how many socks have you stolen!!" Riku demanded, easily keeping pace behind the blue-eyed one.
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I love Sora. Writing him is like writing Zack, only less evil and more innocent fun. And it's so fun to see him drive Riku up the wall, just cause of a non-existent stolen sock.
Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Think I should burn in hell for my randomness? Review?