I only write depressing fanfiction and I don't know why…I just do, just thought I'd say that…., also I may or may not put up a chapter of Nsn this weekend…but not entirely sure yet, so this enjoy this sad one-shot

Kiss it all better.

He holds onto a memory,

All it is, is a memory.

Hey, hey. – He is we

"Marry me?" he whispered as they lay in the snow from a snow ball fight they just had, acting like 12 year olds once again but the two didn't care. Clare only cared about getting Eli back for throwing a snow ball at her ten minutes earlier and Eli was only trying to not get hit. As the 24-year-old and 25-year-old threw the snow balls at each other they got looks from parents keeping an eye on their children building snowmen in the park and they didn't care about that either.

"Sure, you goof." She thought he was joking like he has many times in the past but when he pulled out a little box and opened it for her to see, she gasped "It's beautiful." She told him, he got up from the ground and pulled her up with him then got on his knee.

"I want to grow old with you, Edwards. I want to hold you in my arms every night as you fall asleep. I want us to have at least 3 kids and love them to pieces. I want to go through all the ups and downs with you, no one else, only you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you….will you marry me?"

"Yes…yes! A thousand times yes." She said with the biggest smile in her life. He smiled back at the love of his life and slipped the ring on her finger

"I love you." She said hugging him.

"I love you more." He told her, she smiled up at him and leaned up to kiss him, he gladly kissed her back, she pulled away still smiling grabbing his hand to walk back to their apartment, she turned around and her eyes widened when she saw the gun…Bang!

He jerked up in his bed, he could barely breathe. The same dream has haunted him for the part two years and he just wished it would go away. He covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath; it always felt so real the cold weather, the smell of her perfume, her touch, and the little kids giggles and playful screams in the background, and the sound that changed his life forever.

He wished there was a such thing as a time machine because he wouldn't hesitate to use it to go back to that day and not throw the snow ball at her and that would have meant not staying ten minutes extra and Clare all those children dying of gun shots by those horrible men.

He layed back down on the most uncomfortable bed that he's ever layed on in his life and stared up at the ceiling of the small four wall room he's got 25 to life and she's not in his arms And closes his eyes.

She falls back on him holding her stomach were the bullet hit, he held her in his arms as he slowly bought them to the ground, he watched the coward run away dropping the smoking gun. He looks down at her tears not only in her eyes but in his, it hasn't really hit him yet what happened in a matter of a few seconds ago.

"Eli..." she cried than coughing a couple of times and blood coming out when she did, she was cold and her skin turning paler by the second. He leaned down and kisses her forehead.

"I-it's gonna be fine, you're gonna be okay..." he kept repeating over and over, maybe he was trying to convince himself more than her. She was losing blood fast and life was slowly leaving her.

"Eli..." she whispered trying to keep her eyes open. He knew she didn't have much time left with her and this broke his heart

"ki-ss it... all better, I'm...not r-ready to go..."

"this is all my fault..." he whispered, if he didn't decide to purpose at that moment they could have left before this all happened, he thought he said it quiet enough so that she wouldn't be able to hear him, but he was wrong

"it's n-ot..your fault love...you didn't know." she whispered "y..you didn't know"

"..You're not going anywhere, Clare...Clare...no come on keep your eye's open! k..eep..." he was crying more than the girl in her arms that just got shot. "I love you" he said not sure what else to say any more.

"for...e-ver...and...al..ways..." those were the last words she spoke, taking her last breath.

"No... Hey! Clare! Stay with me! Stay with me..." she was gone he rocked her back and forth in her arms crying and crying. Sadness soon turned into anger, he looked up and noticed the gun, laying there. He got up leaving Clare and leaned down to get the gun from the cold December ground. He saw the man who just tore his word apart aiming it Eli shot the man in the back.

he didn't want to remember that horrible day, he didn't want to remember her ice-cold skin, or the blood that dripped from her mouth or the gun shot to her stomach, but now being locked up in a cell being blamed for killing all those children and Clare even though the only person he hurt was the gun man who got away with it all so now it's all he has the time for is to remember.

review?

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me.

Xoxo