Disclaimer: Own nothing. No one does. We're all thieves.
Warnings: M for language, gayness, and light sexual situations but no porn.
Pairings: Tony/Steve. Eventual other background matchups.
Notes on Tony: I know at the end of Iron Man 3, Tony gets the arc reactor removed from his chest and throws it into the ocean. But I always preferred him with it. It's hot as hell. So in my head, he had the shrapnel removed but the arc reactor still exists. I mean… come on! Pepper was able to fit her whole hand (albeit it's a small hand) in his chest hole in the first movie. Ribs, sternum, muscle, tissue, nerves, heart, lungs, and other gooey stuff just can't be so easily fixed. Plus (I only follow the movie not the comics), he tells the kid in #3 that the arc reactor powers the suit so I just think he needs it. Plus, hot!
Working Title: Not important to know. But was funny. I started the idea for this the night I saw Winter Solider, which was the day it came out. And the working title was Force of Nature. Which was a plug for the movie, Brokeback Mountain. Love is a Force of Nature. It's on a postcard ad I got in the mail for the movie way long ago before it came out. The night before posting this, was listening to music and decided I liked the title Astounded better.
Spelling/Grammar: This story is un-beta read, or however you said it. Meaning I do it all myself. I've gone back and edited out all the spelling and grammar mistakes I could find. (A lot.) I try, I do. Really hard. If you notice any mistakes, let me know and I will fix them!

Avengers: Astounded
Part 1: Heart in a Blender
Chapter 1: Time Marches On

"Jarvis… what do you think? Red and gold too dated? Maybe go with… green… and purple?" The manic mechanic was circling his newest suit. It was better than the one he completed last week. He was certain. Well… maybe. Probably. Actually, it probably wasn't. He was fairly certain it was almost the same. He was also fairly certain the one before that was almost identical. Probably the one before that too. How many suits ago did he actually make changes to?

"Sir, isn't it a bit late to change colors?" Jarvis responded, sounded a bit aggravated. "We are nearly done with the paint job."

Tony tilted his head, contemplating for a minute longer than necessary. He took two more wide circles around the suit before moving to stand in front of it again. "Fine. You're right." He titled his head to the other side and narrowed his eyes. "Jarvis… do the hips look a little… fat?"

"Fat, sir?"

Tony crossed his arms and stepped closer. The hips DID look fat. Spaced a bit too wide apart. How the hell did that happen? "I think I should try it on now."

The AI system let out a sigh. "Sir, it's not finished."

"Well… if it makes me look fat, I need to know now."

"Tony!"

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Pepper! She couldn't be here! She SHOULDN'T be here! She was supposed to be at work. All day. For at least another… what time was it? Hell, what day was it? "Jarvis! How'd she get in here? Why didn't you tell me?"

"She got in using her override codes." She spat as she burst through the glass door. "There's nowhere in this tower that I can't go."

"She forbade me for alerting you of her presence." The AI added. "I am sorry, sir."

Tony stumbled backwards and fumbled along his desktop. He grabbed a remote and hit a series of buttons. The floor and walls of the room quickly dropped out and rotated. The new suit and all his equipment vanished from site, hidden on the hidden floor below. His workshop became an almost empty office, a single desk in the center.

"Do I look blind to you?" She snapped. "Put it back!"

He didn't move. Well… more like he couldn't move. He seemed to be glued to the floor. By something magnetic? Who put magnets in his shoes? Wait… he wasn't wearing shoes…

Pepper glanced up at the ceiling. "Jarvis!"

"Sorry, sir. But for the next 57 minutes and 31 seconds she outranks you." Jarvis did sound regretful. But that didn't mean it was alright.

The room shifted back and Tony breathed in a sharp breath. "Well… let me give you the grand tour!" He clapped his hands together and spun around. "Along the wall… you'll see a row of suits I've completely since the Clean Slate Protocol." He fanned his arms out, gesturing towards them. "Directly in front of you, you see the suit I'm nearly done with. Although it's rather fat, isn't it?" He turned to glare at the fat suit. "I mean, come on!" He spun back around to her and put his hands on his hips. "Am I fat?"

Pepper shook her head and let out a sigh. She looked at him sadly. Disappointment. Annoyance. Disdain? "Tony… you said you'd stop." She said softly.

"No. Correction." He shook his head vigorously. "I said I'd get rid of the distractions until I fixed you."

She crossed her arms and cocked her head. "Fixed me?"

He held up his hands. "Bad choice of words." He said quickly, trying to placate her. Which he seemed to be doing more and more lately. But honestly, he HAD fixed her. He'd spent months and months… no wait weeks… okay, it only took him a couple of days. But still, he had figured it out and figured out the way to keep her stable. He HAD saved her. "Honey, I'm sorry but… this…" He said, pointing around him. "It isn't a distraction. It's not a hobby. This is… me. I am… Iron Man." He glanced back at the suit. "I need these."

"Tony…" She reached for him, drawing him against her, hugging him tight. "You're not a superhero anymore." She patted his back, like he was a scolded child that needed comforting.

He pushed her away, albeit gently, but enough that she stumbled a step backwards. "Why not?" He asked, tilting his head. "Just because SHIELD was destroyed? Because it was a front for Hydra that Fury didn't know about?" He shook his head and waved her off. "Doesn't matter. The Avengers…"

"The Avengers?" She interrupted him. "Since when do you care about the Avengers? You never wanted anything to do with them."

"That's not… entirely wrong." He said quickly, shaking his head. "But not entirely right either. It's not important." He said, shaking his head. "I am an Avenger." He pointed to himself. More accurately, he pointed to the glowing hunk of metal in his chest. But he felt he made his point. "I am a superhero."

Pepper clearly didn't like his point. "That just proves my point. You are not indestructible, Tony!" She stepped closer and reached out to tap her index finger against his arc reactor. "How many times have you nearly died?" He opened his mouth to answer and she spun around, interrupting the sarcastic answer he was planning to make. "How many times do you have to before you stop trying to be the superhero and settle down?" She turned slowly, almost pleading with him. "With me?"

"Settle down…" He repeated slowly. And reruns of the Waltons and Brady Bunch played in his head. Not that he was THAT averse to being a father and the white picket fence and all that. Just more of… it just seemed so… domesticated.

"Yes!" She insisted. "Get married, have kids, live a normal life in a normal house, without all this."

"Married." He nodded slowly, thinking again. It could work. It might work. He loved her. He was sure of it. Positive. Yep. Maybe… "We can do that." He nodded. "We can have kids. I'm great with kids! And Jarvis can play nanny."

A hint of a smile crossed her face. "Jarvis isn't real."

Tony knew it was supposed to be a joke, but something about the way she said it… it still hurt. Jarvis WAS real. To him at least. He decided to file that away for another argument, explaining the difference between an AI and… well maybe not. "Someone has to babysit while you're at the office and I'm out saving the world."

"No, Tony." She let out a loud sigh and shook her head. "It can't be both. It can't." She insisted. "I can't sit around watching the news and waiting to hear if you're still alive."

He shrank back a bit, hearing the conviction in her voice. "I have saved the world and will do it again."

"There is no Avengers anymore!" She shouted. "There is no SHIELD!"

"No, there's just no… stuff anymore." He said slowly, the idea already forming in his mind. Taking root and growing and flowering and all that shit. Yeah… She stared at him blankly, oblivious to spontaneous blowup in his mind. As most people were. He nodded again. "The mechanics, the tech, the building, the funding... that's what's gone. But we… we're still here." He said strongly. Like it was obvious. "One eye, agent girl, angry guy, archer dude, Roman chick, Capcicle… uh… alien God…" He paused for a moment, thinking. That was everyone. Wasn't it? Yeah, he was pretty sure that was everyone. After a second, he nodded and continued. "I can get things running again. I was thinking, move them all here."

"Here?" She gasped, incredulously. "Into the Stark Industries tower?"

He shrugged. It sounded like a good idea the moment he said it. So it was a good idea. And it was his tower… He could do it. And she could get used to the idea. "Just until I get the plans for the sister tower finished and get it up and running. I thought we could share our home…"

"This isn't a home, Tony." She waved her arms around. "This is an office building."

"Yeah." He nodded. "That I converted the top 30 floors of into a home." He added rather smugly. Probably more than was good.

"It was supposed to be temporary."

"I… kinda like it." He admitted softly.

She was silent a moment, staring at him. Something inside her snapped and fell away. It was the last straw. The last… everything. Finally, she let out a loud sigh and shook her head. "I can't do this."

Tony frowned. "What does that mean?" He threw back at her.

She met his gaze and her eyes were full of regret. Because she did regret. "I'm done, Tony. With this… with all of this… with you…" She added softly.

"Wait!" He jumped forward and grabbed her arm. Panic! "You can't… you can't go!"

"Let go…"

"No!" He pulled her towards him. He needed her. She couldn't… she was… he… "You can't leave me alone!"

His desperation stilled her. She didn't struggle, as he held her. She shook her head slowly. "Alone…" She sounded sad.

He lessened his grip on her and slid his hand up her shoulder. "I love you! Please!"

"Tony…"

"I need you!"

She looked away, her eyes settling on the half painted suit. She didn't need to be everything. But she wanted to be more. "All this?"

He followed her gaze and flinched. "I… need them too." He said softly. It was a part of him. The tinkering. It had always been him.

"More than me?" A whisper. It wasn't her intention but that's how it came out.

He hesitated and she tried to pull away. "No! I can stop!"

"No you can't." She touched his cheek gently. "You shouldn't have to."

His face brightened up. "You'll stay?"

She shook her head and finally pried his hand off. "You shouldn't have to give up something you love. But I shouldn't stay because of it." She hesitated before she added, "I deserve better."

"I LOVE you!" Tony insisted loudly. "I NEED you!"

She smiled sadly, the corners of her mouth twitching up the slightest. "You don't sound like you're trying to convince me."

He opened his mouth but for once, he didn't have a witty remark. His mind raced to find something to say to make her stay. But maybe she was right. Maybe she did deserve more. And he didn't. He was a selfish, self-centered, egotistical, megalomaniac man whore. Maybe he didn't have any tricks anymore.

"You want unconditional love without baggage and compromise? Get a dog." She turned and this time, he let her go.

"Jarvis…" Tony said softly after the sound of her clacking high heels faded off.

"38 minutes and 15 seconds, sir."

"Fuck that!" He retrieved the new set of car keys from the kitchen counter before jumping on the elevator to the garage.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

He drove around for hours, mostly in a daze. He didn't understand. She didn't understand. "No one understands!" He said through gritted teeth as he spun the wheel. The car squealed its tires almost as if in protest but still jerked onto the new road.

He wished then that he had taken a different car. Or that he had taken the time to tinker with this one and connect it to Jarvis. Or that he had had enough sense to grab his cell phone or any mechanical device he could use to hotwire the radio with. Or his wallet. Or his jacket. Or anything. Why hadn't he grabbed anything? Why hadn't he…

He pulled the car off the empty road and jumped out. It wasn't exactly dark yet, but it was starting to get there. If he had to guess, maybe 8? 9? What time had he left? What time had Pepper come? Hell… he still wasn't even sure what day it was.

And it was too fucking quiet! And he had no idea where he was. Shit… he'd settle for Thor beaming down through his wormhole with his damn hammer.

He took a deep breath and leaned against the car. There was one certainty that he was… well certain of. "I am Iron Man." He announced loudly to the cooling night. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Who the hell am I talking to?"

He got back in the car and checked the fuel gage. Less than a forth of a tank. "Better turn around before I run out of gas." That would be just way too ironic. Iron Man. Running out of gas. He cracked a smile as he flipped the key and turned the car around.

Much slower this time, and actually paying attention, he retraced his steps, so to speak, until he knew where he was. At least, he was pretty sure he knew where he was. Or close enough that he was pretty sure he could get home. What street was the tower on? How the hell did he get around without Jarvis? Oh right. He didn't.

He made a mental note to learn street names. Then he made a mental note to tinker with this car as soon as he got back. So he made a mental note to forget the first mental note and all was good in his head.

But he didn't automatically turn in the direction he was sure his tower was in. Well, he was mostly sure. At least, he was sure if he kept driving, he'd see the lights from it. Instead, he pulled into a gas station parking lot and asked for directions and 10 minutes later, pulled into the parking lot of a large pet store.

A kid who couldn't have been of legal drinking age was locking the front door. He turned, dropped the key in his pocket, and headed for the single other car in the parking lot.

"Hey you!" Tony shouted as he got out of his car.

The kid stopped and spun around. He was big enough to attempt to defend himself but panic still flashed across his face for a moment. A split moment but it was still there.

Tony held up his hands and stayed by the car. "You in charge?" Of course he wasn't. But Tony asked anyways.

The kid swallowed his nervousness and waved him off. "We closed over an hour ago dude. Come back tomorrow." He reached for the door and started unlocking it.

"I will pay you $1000 to let me in."

"Fuck off." He didn't turn.

"Damnit." Tony cursed under his breath and stepped towards him. "Look at me."

He rolled his eyes and looked over. His jaw dropped open as Tony stepped into the streetlight.

Tony nodded slowly, smiling. "I take it you recognize me."

"Dude! This is so cool! Can I get a picture with you?"

"Yeah, sure. In a minute. First, I forgot my wallet at home but I need some stuff tonight. It's urgent. I'll come by tomorrow and do whatever to make your boss happy. I swear. $1000. Yours. Tomorrow. Or more. Basically anything." He said quickly. "Everyone knows where I live so you can find me if I'm lying."

The kid slammed his door. "Let me show you what we got."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Tony waited one day before he called Pepper. Almost exactly one day. He judged that this was enough time. He hadn't seen her the night before when she had overridden Jarvis again - he really needed to stop that from happening - and packed a bag. Of course, he'd been in his workshop, finishing up the paint job of his newest suit. And he hadn't noticed the disturbed drawers until several hours later.

She didn't answer. He waited an hour and called her again. Then a half hour. And 15 minutes. Then he called her every 5 minutes for two hours. He left voice mails on her cell phone. He left voice mails on her friend's phone that he was certain she was staying with. And her parents and her work phone and anyone else he could think of that she ever talked to. Texts and emails and he considered some kind of smoke signal or maybe a Bat signal. A Pepper signal! He could build one of those, he was certain! A big, giant P floating in the sky.

He was already blowing up every form of communication possible. When still none of that worked, he changed the locks in her office and canceled her security clearance. If she wanted to come into work the next morning, she'd have to talk to him. And then he could prove to her how much he had changed. In 3 days. It was a lot. Completely. Different. Person. Totally.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Sir, Miss Potts is here to see you."

"Good, good. Direct her to my home office."

"Very well sir."

Tony shut his laptop and pushed it to the center of the desk. Whatever he was doing, was completely forgotten. It wasn't important. He was certain it wasn't. Just something to pass the time until Pepper showed up. He was actually surprised it took her so long. He'd been sitting there, at the desk, dressed and waiting for her for nearly two hours. He quickly straightened the few things on the sparse desktop and smoothed out his dress jacket.

Pepper stormed in loudly, not even attempting to mask the clattering of her high heels. "You are a child!" She snapped, stopping a foot from his desk. She was dressed impeccably, as always, her hair pulled into a tight flawless ponytail, and she held a manila envelope in her left hand. "A child!" She repeated.

"I missed you too!" He leaned back in his chair and smiled at her. Just as if all this was going according to plan, to his grand scheme.

But it certainly wasn't Pepper's plan. She rolled her eyes and hugged the envelope to her chest. It was a meager protection, but it made her feel better, having it. Knowing she was about to end everything. "Tony…" She started with a touch of sadness.

He read what he wanted in that single word, in his name on her lips. In his head, she was already moving back in and apologizing for the senseless and needless fight. She would give up these fights about him changing. Because he WAS a selfish, self-centered, egotistical, megalomaniac man whore. He smiled smugly as he rocked in his chair.

She looked away for a moment and shook her head. She held the envelope tighter, crinkling it. "I know what you're thinking." She said softly. She had lived with him, known him long enough to be able to read him. "I'm not coming back."

He pushed away from the desk and jumped up, panicking. His smug demeanor cracked so easily. "You have to!"

She shook her head and closed her eyes.

"I got you a cat!" He said quickly.

She looked at him. "What?"

"You told me to get a cat. So I did. Jarvis, where's the cat?"

The AI let out a loud sigh. "He's in the workshop, sir, urinating on the schematics for Mark 107."

Pepper's eyes widened. She had seen the dozen or so suits in his workshop. But the jump from the last suit she knew of, 42, to 107? How had he… so many… he wasn't sleeping again… "107? Wow. You really have been keeping yourself busy instead of spending time with me."

"Uh… if it makes you feel better about me… Mark 53 – 89 never got finished."

She glared at him.

He shrugged. "I was testing different material combinations and thickness… trying to lighten the whole suit… for more speed and better ground hand to hand combat."

"Hand to…" She shook her head. "Not my problem anymore." She whispered to herself.

Tony scoffed. "Problem? What problem? Me? I fixed it. I did what you said."

She stared at him blankly for a second before what he meant sparked. "The cat? You fixed all our problems with a cat?"

"You told me to get you a cat!"

"I said dog!" She snapped.

"Oh."

"You missed my point completely." She shook her head. "It wasn't about the cat."

"Dog?"

"No!" She shouted. "I was being… sarcastic, Tony!" She paused a moment. "No, maybe not sarcastic… maybe more… ironic…" She shook her head yet again and let out a sign. "My point was… I can't give you what you want, alright?"

"I want you!" He urged.

"I can't give you me." She said solidly. "I can't do this anymore. I can't date a child."

Tony fell silent and it spread. Tension grew, heavy in the air. What's the saying? Something about cutting tension with a butter knife? Several minutes passed. He wasn't sure how many. But… "I haven't changed!" He insisted. "This is who I am, who I've always been! Why's it suddenly a problem now?"

She was silent a few more moments before she answered. She'd given it a lot of thought over the past couple days. And if she were honest with herself, she'd been secretly thinking about it for months. "Because I have changed, Tony." She said softly. "Nearly dying will do that to a normal person." She finally let her arms fall and held the folder out in front of her. "I want a family, Tony. Kids and grandkids, I want to grow old with someone. I want to know that when I die, I won't have any regrets." She stepped towards the desk and dropped the envelope on top. "My two weeks' notice, Tony. I'm resigning."

His eyes widened. "Wait! No! You can't!"

"Tony…"

"I need you!"

She shook her head and held up her hands. "We just went through this. I am not explaining myself again. Have Jarvis replay the conversation for you."

"You can't quit! You'll ruin everything!"

She shook her head. "I can't work for a child."

"Partners!" He said quickly. "50% controlling power. Equals."

That stopped her. "What?"

He kept going, kept talking. Not giving it a second thought. "Last month you brought it up and I blew you off. I said I would think about it but I didn't really. In fact, I think I completely forgot about it until this very moment. I was probably drunk."

"You were. But for a 30% partnership."

"50%'s better!"

She rolled her eyes. "Tony if this is a joke…"

"It's not!" He said quickly.

"If you're just trying to keep me around and win me back…"

"No!" He said quickly again, shaking his head. Then he shrugged. "I mean… if that worked, I'd give you the whole company." He let out a sigh. "But no, I can't lose you as an employee. You are the best CEO this company has ever had. And that includes myself and my father."

"Tony…"

"The sister tower we designed. It's yours! Brand new."

"You want to move the company into the new tower? I thought you gave it to the Avengers?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. I've been… busy." He looked over at nothing on the wall. "I'm lazy. I hate moving. I'd rather turn this whole place into playrooms. You can have my new toy. You deserve it. Honestly."

She stepped towards him, her arms outstretched in intent to hug.

"No." He shook his head and stepped back. "Give me a yes or no. Right now."

She studied him for a few moments before nodding. "Yes."

He nodded. "I'll have Jarvis draft up the papers for me to sign and get them to you in an hour. And… hire more workers… to double the sister tower effort. We broke ground yesterday. I could probably have it done in a week."

"A week? Tony, I don't think…"

He turned his back on her. "Goodbye Pepper. I have stuff to do."

"Wait a minute, Tony. I think we should talk more."

"I think we've talked enough."

"Tony…"

He spun around. "You just broke up with me for good and took half my company in the divorce." He hollered. "I think I'm allowed a hissy fit."

"Don't be like that!"

"I'm a child, remember?" He grabbed the laptop off his desk and hurled it at the wall behind him. "Get out!"

She shook her head sadly and turned for the door. She stopped as she grabbed the doorknob. She glanced back. "The locks on my office and security clearance?"

"Oh yeah." He said evenly, his anger already gone. "Jarvis?"

"It'll be taken care of by the time Miss Potts reaches her floor, sir."

"Thank you." She said softly and slipped out the door.

Tony sunk to the floor. He couldn't stop them. The tears fell from the almighty Tony Stark. And once they started, he couldn't stop. He wiped at them and hugged his knees to his chest. "Jarvis, get Dum-E down here to clean this up. And get me another laptop. And get those workers. And cancel all appointments for the next week. No, make that two weeks."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Author's Notes: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started a new story. But this one's been hanging over my head for months. Well… for a month at least. Anyways… here's the beginning. Hope you enjoyed it enough to stick around for the next one.