Ma Vhenan
He stood upon the battlements looking down into Skyhold's gardens, his attention riveted on the elven maiden he had left months before. A faint smile touched his lips as he watched her plant her newest treasure. His smile faded as Cullen entered the garden golden armor glinting in the moonlight and made his way toward Elynwea. He watched the lion held his hand out to the elven woman who had become so very dear to him and lift her to her feet. A chill wind touched Solas's ears making him shiver as he listened to the snippets of conversation as they drifted past him.
A warm friendly laugh escaped the once Templar. "You remind me of the younger apprentices in the circle, covered in dirt and up to untold mischief." Cullen gently cupped her cheek lightly running his thumb along her chin. "Sup with me tonight Ely?" Elynwea returned her commander's wistful smile and withdrew her fingers from his.
Elynwea backed away the slightest twist of her lips and the down cast eyes the only signs that betrayed her sorrow. "I'm sorry Cullen, I cannot."
Frustrated, the commander caressed her palm with his thumb voice low and intimate. "Solas is unlikely to return, how long will you wait for him? How long will you let his absence torture you? Let him go, you deserve so much better. There are those of us here who care for you. I care for you."
She shook her head and tilted her chin stubbornly as she disentangled herself. "I am not for you Cullen, let me be. Please."
Cullen cleared his throat and tried again as she fled. "Ely…" he reached after her but she had already gone. The lion let his hand fall to his side and started for his own quarters.
Elynwea firmly shut the door to the garden, then turn to lean upon it. Solas's felt his heart skip a beat as the woman he loved looked up toward him unseeing: the unmistakable glint of tears on her cheek. He closed his eyes against the ache in his own heart. Forgive me, it was selfish, I was selfish…your pain… Ma Vhenan. Solas took a deep shuddering breath, resisting the urge to howl his own pain to the heavens.
"She hurts. She hides it, she hopes, so the others will not see. I want to help. To help her. You hurt her. You went away and it hurt her, why?"
Solas's opened his eyes and looked to the young man who appeared next to him perched atop the wall. Wide brimmed hat set atop straw colored hair. "Hello Cole."
Startled, Cole asked, "Some people are frightened when I talk to them. But not you. I don't startle you?"
The slight smile returned to Solas. "No, I was expecting you."
Cole's eyes widened. "I felt you, in the fade, you move through the fade like me, you touch it. It doesn't touch you. You, you do not want to be seen. You do not want her to see you. To know that you are here. That you watch her? You still want to help her. So you keep her safe. You guard her dreams. You keep her safe, in the fade while she sleeps. But you hurt. Your hurt like hers is hidden. You do not want her to know. Like her that you hurt. Why? You think it is what you deserve. Because of what you did. But mostly for what you did to her?" Cole shook his head confused. "She will forgive you. She must know you are here. She would like to know that you are here. That you still want to help her. To keep her safe. It will help her, it will help you. It will heal you both."
Solas frowned. "That is enough Cole. Go back to the inn. This is a hurt of my doing and one you will not be able to help me with. You will not tell her of my presence. Forget my friend. I was never here, let her forget." He waved his hand over the youth and Cole vanished.
Solas fade-stepped away from the battlements and into the herald's chamber, curtains fluttering a slight breeze entering from the balcony. He longingly traced Elynwea's heart shape face as she slept. "You do not belong here." Solace turned addressing the small form on the balcony.
The dark haired child smiled. "It is not I that have chosen not to belong." The child continued as she glided into the room, flickered and in her place a young woman with Raven black hair closed the distance between them. "Why is it that you hide from me Fen'Harel?" Silver eyes bore into his own.
Solas with trembling fingers gently caressed her chin then frowned. "Show your true form spirit, do not mock me by wearing hers."
The young woman stepped away and continued, her voice thick with mockery. "It was your pride that caused her such pain. Did you toy with her Dread Wolf? Did you let her fall in love with you, knowing you planned to leave? Can you not feel it? Her pain? The pain that you had wrought? I can feel it even now, it weighs heavily in this realm. It calls to me and…others."
The candle light flickered, he and the spirit were now standing in the glade of waterfalls. The spirit gestured into the distance. "Watch what you have done."
Solas and Elynwea enter fingers entwined it was a loving moment, their last together, unfolding before him.
He watched silently as he made love to Elynwea on the moss covered bank; in the after math his gift to her was one of truth-He had told her what the vallaslin really meant and offered to remove the stigma from her. He cast his spell and kissed her one last time as the vallaslin vanished from her. 'You are free,' he had whispered to her.
Elynwea smiled, her silver eyes full warmth and love. A terrible sadness stole over his features, he told her he was a distraction then turned away from the Elven woman who had become everything to him. He watched as she curled into herself and cry as he walked from the glade without a backward glance.
Solas wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her for the pain he had caused. Ely, my Ely. You are so beautiful. I had only wanted to give you a gift as you had done so much more for me. I wanted you to be free. Ma Vhenan you deserve so much better than I.
The young woman gestured her delicate arm taking in the whole of her. "This child of the people loves you Fen'Harel and in her slumber her heart knows you and yet loves you anyway. Would you let her continue to morn your loss?" The young woman shimmered and in her place stood Cullen. "Or would he be a better mate for your Ely?"
Solas sneered at the new image then looked away. "She would never be with the Commander, the human is beneath her." He glanced back at the spirit. "In truth, they all are."
The spirit that was Cullen moved over to the weeping elf and took her into his arms. He gently brushed Elynwea's hair back and kissed her lightly on the mouth. The creature smiled up at Solas "His desires are strong, to have this woman as his own he would be willing to raise yours and Elynwea's child as his."
The spirits smile widened. "Would you let this man, this human man, raise Elynwea's son?"
Solas's eyes snapped up. The image of Cullen holding Elynwea his hand placed lovingly on her stomach only just beginning to show under her night shift. Cullen's eyes bore into him. "Your son, Fen'Harel." Then his mouth widened into a possessive smile, "My son."
Fen'Harel bolted out of the fade and back into the waking world.
My son, my Ely carries my son. The Dread Wolf bared his teeth and snapped at the air. No human will raise my son. The white wolf shook the snow from his fur and took off at a ground eating pace back to Skyhold, startling the guards as he raced past the gate, through the courtyard up the stairs, down the main hall and into the stairwell shifting back into the elven form as he slipped quietly into the Herald's chamber.
Solas once again stood silently above the sleeping woman, Spirits tell the tale of what has happened and what is possible, but not always what is. He could feel the small spark of life within. Sitting gingerly on the side of the bed, Solas gently brushed her hair from her sleeping face. "Elynwea, Ely,"
"Solas?" She murmured sleepily a ghost of smile on her lips.
Solas breathed into her ear "Ma Vhenan wake up."
Elynwea's eyes snapped open, "Solas!" She quickly scrambled out of bed to stand before him. She started to reach for him and hesitated then wrapped her arms around her as if to protect herself. "I was so worried for you." Anger quickly replaced the worry in her voice. "When I couldn't find you after the fight with Corypheus, I thought you had left…from what you said I thought you meant not to return."
Solas places his long tapered fingers over her lips. "Shhh, Ma Vhenan. I am here now."
She glared and pushed his hand away, turning her back toward him. "Where did you go? Why have you returned?"
"I am sorry Ely, I had not meant to hurt you as I did. I needed to leave, I had some questions I needed answers to."
Elynwea glanced over her shoulder meeting his eyes, the sorrow and warmth that met her took her breath away. "Did you find the answers you sought?"
He turned her toward him bringing her into his embrace and smiled. "Indeed, I did."
Unwilling to take her eyes from him, Elynwea whispered. "What was the answer?"
He caressed her stomach where she carried their child, "Us." lowered his lips to hers.
Elynwea abruptly pulled away from Solas before he could seal his kiss as Cullen barged into the room, sword drawn and shield at the ready. "Ely are you alright? Did that creature hurt you?" Cullen blushed and at seeing the Herald in her night cloths turned his back to her, suddenly Nonplussed, "well I, that is…Um." as he stammered out the reason for his interruption and put away his sword before he realized she had a visitor.
Solas glared at Cullen for the interruption.
"I'm fine Cullen, perhaps you could come by later?" Came Elynwea's faint reply as she distractedly waved her commander away, having eyes only for Solas.
"I see that you have returned Solas, do you plan to stay or can we expect you to depart just as quickly?" Cullen ground his teeth as he glared at the apostate.
"No, I think not Commander." Solas's glare softened as he moved his gaze from Cullen to Elynwea, brushing the raven locks from her face, running his long fingers through her hair as Fen'Harel claimed her with a kiss. "I believe I have found everything I need right here."
AN: I wanted to say thank you to BioWare who is such an insperation and for allowing me to play with their creation. Also a very warm thank you to my readers and My wonderful Beta Kira.