Tomoe awoke in the night with the same terrible cry ... "Oh, Kyosato..." She couldn't help but say his name. He was all she had known. All the happiness and joy... all came from him. She remembered the way he looked longingly at her, and how she mirrored the same feeling. She remembered how he always hated to leave her when it was time to say goodnight... How he would tenderly place his fingers on her face, tracing lines down as she leaned into his touch. "Lost", she muttered to herself as she gently tried to choke back the small tears that came all too often in the middle of the night. She sat up in the darkness and placed her hands on her delicate cheeks to wipe away the tears that never should have been. She knew she deserved everything that a life with Kyosato had to offer...
As she more or less unsuccessfully tried in the darkness to stop the tears from continuing to roll, she thought of the life she could have had. She imagined waking up every morning to the sight of his face... feeling the love rise up inside of her, never being able to deny the smile on his face. She would have been protected... sheltered... provided for. Living on a soft cloud of happiness, everything that she had looked forward to. Her emotions ran so deep, like an endless deep ocean upon which the sun never shone... only the stars... small twinkling, bright memories... hopes, that die quickly and are replaced with far more dim and illuminous ones. Her reality was far different from those far off shining hopes...
It was still the middle of the night, and her still tired and hurt filled thoughts thankfully began to wander. She thought of her home and her broken family that was left after she had taken her leave. She laid her head back on her pillow and the samurai sleeping next to her shifted. She closed her eyes after a long look into the darkness. She thought of her brother, Enishi, and how he had begged her not to go. She had left very hastily, in a swirl of anger and pain. It all seemed so far away and yet it was so fresh in her mind. Reluctantly, she forced her mind off her trials and horrible situation. However, real life and present time weren't much easier to deal with than her painful memories. When Katsura-San had ordered them to go to Otsu in order to escape the onslaught of the Shinsen Gumi, she had agreed in haste and with horrid intent. She knew exactly who her fiance's killer was... and there she was...sleeping next to him, sharing the same bed, the same painful past, the same darkened feelings. She had left Kyoto with him in order to somehow exact her revenge. She would find a way. But until then, she would have to deal with the horrible nightmares and pain.
As she more or less unsuccessfully tried in the darkness to stop the tears from continuing to roll, she thought of the life she could have had. She imagined waking up every morning to the sight of his face... feeling the love rise up inside of her, never being able to deny the smile on his face. She would have been protected... sheltered... provided for. Living on a soft cloud of happiness, everything that she had looked forward to. Her emotions ran so deep, like an endless deep ocean upon which the sun never shone... only the stars... small twinkling, bright memories... hopes, that die quickly and are replaced with far more dim and illuminous ones. Her reality was far different from those far off shining hopes...
It was still the middle of the night, and her still tired and hurt filled thoughts thankfully began to wander. She thought of her home and her broken family that was left after she had taken her leave. She laid her head back on her pillow and the samurai sleeping next to her shifted. She closed her eyes after a long look into the darkness. She thought of her brother, Enishi, and how he had begged her not to go. She had left very hastily, in a swirl of anger and pain. It all seemed so far away and yet it was so fresh in her mind. Reluctantly, she forced her mind off her trials and horrible situation. However, real life and present time weren't much easier to deal with than her painful memories. When Katsura-San had ordered them to go to Otsu in order to escape the onslaught of the Shinsen Gumi, she had agreed in haste and with horrid intent. She knew exactly who her fiance's killer was... and there she was...sleeping next to him, sharing the same bed, the same painful past, the same darkened feelings. She had left Kyoto with him in order to somehow exact her revenge. She would find a way. But until then, she would have to deal with the horrible nightmares and pain.