Five Times Sam Wished The World Had Ended
SG-1 stood on the landing at the entrance of the Gate. The planet was covered with trees and greenery, but the mood was as gray as volcanic ash, smothering the life out of the atmosphere.
The Pandorans had decided against evacuation, foolishly believing that they could survive the impending Goa'uld invasion. In spite of what SG-1 had told them, the natives had decided to remain; to defend their land and their families.
Now a sea of people stood before them, gathering at the Gate to bid farewell to the team. Sam looked at the faces of men, women and children who would soon become slaves and hosts to an unmerciful master and thought, perhaps it would be better if their world ended now, skipping the step of torture that would preface the inevitable death of their race.
Colonel O'Neill then gave the order to move out and the sense of regret that rose in her chest at their decision, turned into the bitter taste of pity and bile in her mouth. Sam turned with the rest of the team and stepped into the event horizon and out of the Pandoran's reach forever.
ONE
She was going to kill him.
If General Hammond didn't bring her up on charges of his own, then he'd surely have to court marshal her for what she was about to do to her soon-to-be-deceased Commanding Officer.
She'd been more than swamped with work since their find on P3X-482, so everything else blurred from her vision as she had focused all her energy on determining the use of the technology they had found. This morning she'd walked into her lab, and there it was; one red long stemmed rose with a type written note that said, 'When you get this please report to my office Sam. I really need to talk to you.' signed, George H.
Solving the mysteries of the Stargate had never created the confusion in her mind that that rose had. She felt the cold sweats come on, and the sudden irregularity of her heartbeat, but she did as the note had instructed and reported to Hammond's office.
Sam didn't remember what the General started to tell her. The words just began to pour out of her. She was very flattered. She really didn't know what to tell him. He was more like a father figure to her.
At that point the sheer look of disbelief General Hammond gave Sam suddenly engaged her brain and she shut up. The General cleared his throat and in that one action, Sam wished the world would end now sparing her any further embarrassment.
"Check your calendar Major. I'm sure it will give you answers to the questions you're going to ask. Dismissed!"
He was gentler than he needed to be, so as soon as her mouth forced out a "Yes Sir." Sam all but ran back to her lab, pulled out her work diary, flipped madly to the relevant date and there it was. Circled in red, in Colonel O'Neill's unmistakable scrawl,
April Fool's Carter
Sam slammed the diary cover shut and stormed towards the door.
She was going to kill him!
TWO
It was Cassandra's birthday. Janet had fit into the role of motherhood exceptionally well. Sam loved watching her with Cassandra and knew that the little girl, who turned 13 today, felt the same way about Janet.
SG-1 had been invited to celebrate the day they had chosen as Cassandra's birthday. May 21st, the day they had found her. Sam arrived early to help set up and to spend a little time with Cassie before the guys came.
When everything was in place, Janet left the two, only after they both promised not to start on the cake before everyone else got there. During a quiet moment Cassandra turned to Sam and asked, "Sam, what's it like to have a boyfriend?"
Recovering slowly from the question Sam attempted an answer. "A boyfriend? Wow. Well, it's nice Cassie, when it's the right guy."
"How do you know when it's the right guy?" Inquisitive eyes continued the questioning Cassandra's mouth had begun.
"You don't always know honey, but that's part of the fun, finding out. Spending time with the person, figuring out what he likes, him doing the same for you. The right person should have some things in common with you, you should respect each other and look out for each other."
"Do you have a boyfriend Sam?"
"Not at the moment. No." Sam answered Cassandra with a small smile.
"Why not? Haven't you found the right guy?" Sam looked into the innocent 13 year old eyes of Cassandra and told her honestly, "It's not always easy Cass. There are some great guys out there but…."
"What about Jack?"
"What?"
"Isn't Jack a great guy?" Cassandra was relentless in her questioning.
"Of course he is but.."
"Then couldn't he be the right one for you? You do the same job, you spend time together, you protect each other. And I know you like each other. I've heard you laughing at those lame jokes of his. And he's hot."
"Cassie!"
"Don't you think he's hot?" She said it like it was obvious that everyone else thought he was.
"Well. Yes he is but…"
"Well then you're perfect for each other." Cassandra announced matter of factly.
All that could come out of Sam's mouth was a gasp at disbelief as she stared, speechless at the young girl. The doorbell rang and Cassandra jumped off the stool, ran to the door announcing "I'll get it!"
Cassandra's words stayed in the kitchen with Sam, swirling around her head 'Perfect for each other.' Perhaps the little matchmaker wasn't as innocent as Sam had initially thought, and a smile came to Sam's face.
"That smile suggests that you've already had the cake Carter." Jack O'Neill entered the kitchen with Cassandra holding firmly onto his hand.
"No Sir, we promised Janet we'd hold out until everyone got here." She was happy to see him and her smile lingered a little longer.
Cassandra came back around to Sam's side of the counter and sat next to her again before informing the new guest, "We were just talking Jack."
"Oh yeah? What about?"
Sam's body stiffened slightly. Without hesitation Cassandra responded, "About guys."
Jack's eyebrows went skyward, "Oh." And his head swung slightly in Sam's direction before returning to Cassandra. "Yes. Knowing when it's the right one." Sam's discomfort continued and she tried not to look at her CO.
Without warning Cassandra blurted out, "Sam thinks you're hot!"
"Cassandra!"
"What? You said it."
"I… We were…." Sam tried to recover as she looked from Cassandra to Jack, then back to the teenager. Just then the door bell rang again and just as she had done before, Cassandra bolted, shouting at the top of her lungs, "I'll get it!" leaving Sam and Jack alone in the room.
Suddenly Janet's kitchen seemed to hold the meaning of life as Sam's eyes moved everywhere trying to avoid Jack's. When she could no longer evade the inevitable, Sam looked at Jack, giving him and awkward little smile and an explanation, "Hm, thirteen year olds." She shrugged. However, she saw the smile on Jack's face, curling his lips and meeting his eyes.
Right then Sam wished that the world would end. She found her CO hot, and now he knew it. 'Oh. Kill me now', she thought. The kitchen door then swung open again and Teal'c came in with Cassandra holding onto his arm, and Daniel following closely behind them.
Sam hoped that their previous conversation had been forgotten but then Cassandra asked, "Daniel, how do you know when you've found the right girl?"
Daniel's gaze swiftly moved around the room as though wondering what he had just walked into. Jack chuckled softly as Sam's head fell quietly into her hand.
This was turning out to be some party.
THREE
She couldn't get to him; couldn't find him. The earth beneath them had shifted suddenly, causing the collapse of the old building they were in. The team at the Gate had been called in to help them search, but they had been unsuccessful so far. Sam's feet raced along with her heart, but she was sure her heart was winning. She could feel the blood pounding in the same rhythm in her ears.
Her radio clicked. "No sign of him, Colonel. We've searched everywhere."
"Then search again Major!" Sam barked back "We're not leaving this planet without General O'Neill. Is that clear?"
"Colonel…"
"Is that clear Major!"
"Yes Ma'am." Major Edwards responded more out of despair than insubordination. Sam recognized it and let the young man go back to the seemingly insurmountable task at hand; finding General O'Neill.
She checked her watch again. Having been able to secure everyone else, Jack was now the only person missing, but time was already far spent and the light was disappearing. They knew his location when the building collapsed, but only after it fell did they realize that there was a maze of tunnels underneath that led to God knows where, hence the uncertainty of his present location.
The Colonel in her knew that she couldn't risk the lives of the others, searching for one man. The woman in her wouldn't leave without him. She'd waited so long to be with Jack O'Neill. Now that she knew what it meant to have him, to love him, she didn't know how she would deal, faced with the very real possibility this day, of having to live without him.
If that were the case, the world may as well end for her, because life without Jack meant breathing without oxygen, processing without thinking, and she couldn't do that.
As Sam reached for her radio to order the team back to the Gate, it clicked unexpectedly to life, "Colonel!" Major Edwards was screaming through the 2-way. Sam realized that they'd found him. Dead or alive, she couldn't tell, so she waited for the good Major to tell her, whether her world had already come to an end.
FOUR
She listened to the birds outside, the sounds of nature, the loud quiet of this peaceful place and was glad she didn't have to move. She lay there and thought about life, her life, and how things had changed.
They had moved from uncertainty, to desperation, to unsettling knowledge, to battle, to doubt and eventually to victory. All was now right with the world. Sam took pride in that and her part in it. They had fought hard and bravely. They had lost friends and defeated enemies. They had won. So now she relished the quiet, the peace, the freedom victory afforded them.
Smiling to herself Sam rolled on her side and gently placed her arm around the warm body next to her in the bed. On reflex his arm came around her and pulled her closer to him. Sam took in the scent of him, this man that had become a part of her life now in a different way, and she was grateful that they had miraculously made it through all the wars they had fought together and apart.
Propping herself just above him Sam put her lips to Jack's ear and whispered "Told you, you would like me once you got to know me." The smile that played on the General's lips seduced her, then he said, "Oh I've adored you forever, Colonel. Always have. Always will."
Jack pulled Sam to him, rolling her over with his signature "C'mere." And as he began to demonstrate his adoration, the world could have ended for Sam and she would have been okay with it.
She knew there was still much ahead of them, but right now, it felt like they had come full circle, gotten to the point that they were destined to be. If nothing else followed Sam knew, she had lived, and death now would have stolen nothing from her, because eternity was already within her grasp.
FIVE