It Starts, It Ends

Chapter 1

So this is going to include bits of poems I write. May include some cursing later on.

XXX

~It starts, it ends,

And everything depends,

On blood, on fate,

And everybody's hate.~

I can't keep doing this. You'd think that, by now, I would have realized that I should just stay away from people. No matter what I do, I hurt them. And then they hurt me back. It happened when I was a kid too. Why did I think it would have turned out any different this time? The only difference is that, this time, I can't say I'm not a demon because I know that I really am one.

~ I sob, I cry,

And I want to die,

I laugh, I hide it,

And keep it a secret.~

I really did wish that it would have been different, though. For a while, I was so happy. I hardly even used the blade in my hand. I thought I would have been able to stop. I thought I would have been able to move on. Of course, I was just deluding myself. It's funny. When Yukio told me to die, he had no clue how much I wanted to do just that.

~They scorn, they yell,

And I can't tell

Who's friend, who's foe,

And I will never know.~

Whenever I'm in the same room with them, they glare at me. I try to ignore it, but everywhere I turn, I see someone else glaring at me. Sometimes, they yell at me too. Yukio doesn't say anything. Not that he should. He hates me just as much as they do, and I can't really blame him. Well, I shouldn't just say 'they.' Shiemi tried to apologize to me. She sits with me at lunch sometimes so I won't be alone, but I mostly try to avoid her. Everyone else is right about me, after all. If I stay close to her, I'll hurt her too. I can't let that happen.

~I try, I do,

And think I'll get through,

But there's more hate, and then,

I want to die again.~

I really try to act like I'm alright. I still smile, make jokes, act like an idiot. I don't know why I keep up the act. No one would really care if I showed how I really feel. Hell, They'd probably be ecstatic. It's always been like this. And it will never change.

XXX

Well, here's the first chapter. Funnily enough, I wrote a crack-fic and I was planning to write more comedies today, but crap just hit the fan, and now I just want to write depressing things. I'm really angry right now, so, to anyone who was reading my series of Merlin crack-fics, don't expect any updates for another day or two. Sorry for my little rant, but I'm peeved.