Peace At Last
by FireHand
Spoiler warning:
This story takes place at the end of the last graphic novel Angel's Ascension.
What? Where am I? It's all dark. But I can't see the black of night. It's all silent. It's so silent. I can't hear a thing. Where am I? What happened?
I'm alone. But I don't feel lonely. I'm not afraid. I'm safe. As long as I'm here nothing can hurt me. But where am I?
Did I die? But if so, why isn't anybody here to welcome me? Or am I just dreaming? No, that can't be. This isn't a dream. But... is it reality?
Oh, now I remember. The grand-mothers suicide. But she was a monster in disguise. She tried to take all her children with her. She wanted to kill them, because she couldn't control them anymore. First their brains, and then their lives. But what happened then?
A new body, a fast brain, and a magic pill. The blue, it was so blue. I had seen it once, a long time ago. Such loneliness... and sadness like I had never felt before. But I couldn't shed any tears. There are no tears in space...
AAARRRGGGHHH, the shock was terrible. As if a giant would tear me apart. But I knew at once it wouldn't break me. My body was being stretched, it was like it would never end, I felt it growing, becoming something different, becoming part of something else, something new, something different than me. But still not so different. It was born out of the deepest depths of my soul. It wasn't me, but it welcomed me as a part of its new existence.
And I knew it was right. It had been the only thing to do. But it broke my heart. Oh, the pain, it was the pain that broke my heart the moment I realized that I had left everything behind. And there was no turning back. It was too late. Of all the things I had ever done in my life, there had never been anything with such absolute finality.
All those I had loved, all those precious people that had given their love to me, often without getting anything in return or even realizing what they had given to me. But even more often without me realizing. All the love I wasted during those long years of restless quest. Blinded by my selfishness and the pain inside of me. That pain that I thought was the most important, maybe even the only thing that mattered in the whole world. And now I won't see them ever again.
Man of the sea, mighty fisher, strong warrior and certain death for countless cyborgs. Stubborn lover and magician, yes, magician for your smile is pure magic. It is an enchantment I could never resist.
But now it's all over. Forever gone. What do I have, what is left after I gave up everything?
What was the reason for me to do it? I'm not like this man I once read about. He talked about peace and love. His love was so strong he gave his life for others. But me I'm different. I was trained to kill. And that's exactly what I did.
In the beginning I thought it was the only way to find myself, to remember, to dig out buried memories, to find a path back into my past, into what had once been my life. I needed to fight to feel alive. But then it became an addiction. That's when I became a wild beast with only one purpose. I needed the high with my mind going all white. And I always needed more, more heads, more blood, more killing. More throats sliced, more spines breaking under my feet, more guts spread all over the place lying in a lake of warm blood.
And still, I found love, now I know what it means. Now I know what it feels like to really love somebody. It almost killed me. Yes, during the fights I wasn't able to lose myself like I used to. But at the same time, it gave me a new kind of strength. In the end I had something worth fighting for. But now it's all over. It's too late.
Why did I do that? I could have saved myself. No, that's not true. My body could have saved itself, but my soul would have died. I was the cause of enough death and suffering. I hope my sacrifice can make up for some of it. I hope it wasn't in vain.
Time...
What is time when you can hardly remember the beginning and can't see an end?
Space...
What is space when there are no limits?
When you can't go anywhere, but where you are is the place you want to be?
Love...
What is love? If you don't know it, you should better not talk about it. And once you have felt it, you realize there's no words to describe it.
What the...? Where did that stinging light come from? Wh...!
No, something is pulling at me. It's forcing me out of this place. I don't want to leave. I don't want...
The wild-looking man caught her just in time. One second later and she would have crashed into the floor. It was a strange sight. The man looked strong and dangerous. It was obvious he had had more fights lately than opportunities to take a bath. But he held the naked woman with such sensitivity as if she was the most precious thing he had ever seen in his whole life. His eyes were filled with tears and the look on his face was a mixture of year-long sadness, hope and overwhelming joy.
The young woman in his arms was very beautiful. She had raven black hair and the soft skin of a newborn child, although her body was fully-grown. She wasn't moving at all and had her eyes tightly shut as if the dim light of the small cavern could hurt her. After what seemed a very long time she half opened her eyes and gazed at the man.
A face, she thought, is that a face? That black thing, is it a... beard? Yes, a beard, that must be a... beard. And those eyes. Those eyes are sick with pain and grief. But yet so full of hope. No, it can't be. It's, it's...
"Fi... gure?", the girl with the most beautiful eyes and the octopus lips whispered.
Disclaimer:
Battle Angel Alita is a trademark of VIZ Comics. The characters herein are copyright Yukito Kishiro.
Copyright 1998-2000 Etienne Besson