Disgusting. It won't come off. No matter how much I try. The feel of her blood, on my face, my hands. It makes me feel sick. I'm so sorry Yuki. It wasn't meant to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to be you. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time and you wouldn't leave, no matter how much I yelled. You are too caring.
I watched as the water droplets slid down the glass pane in front of me. Almost like tears.
Do you hate me now? I hope you do. I deserve it after what I've done. I know how it feels to have your blood sucked out, to feel the fangs in your neck. No one should have to feel that.
I turned the water off and got out of the shower. Towelled myself dry and put on some track pants and a loose T-shirt. On my way back to my room I found a sticky note stuck innocently on my door.
"Meet me in my office when you are ready to talk" it had said. I knew immediately that it was from Cross. He must want to speak to me about what happened earlier. Well, I'm sure he can wait a while longer. I don't need to hear what he says. Probably along the lines of "Be more careful" or "I'm disappointed". Maybe he'll even kick me out. He looked sad when he brought me back to my room.
I wanted to stay in my room for a bit. To try to sleep a little, if I can.
In all honesty, as I laid down and my head hit the pillow, I was out. Fast asleep. But, it wasn't as peaceful as I'd hoped. It never was. Tonight was fitful. A nightmare about back when I was a human boy living with my parents and twin. Everything was perfectly fine until I felt it, the aura of a vampire outside our house. I'm sure you know the rest of the story. There was a lot of blood spilt that night, including my own.
When I woke up I had decided that I wanted to leave. To go as far away from Yuki as I could so that I would never hurt her again. Even now, after already tasting her blood, I was craving more. It's an insatiable need, one that makes most ex humans go insane within the first month or so, killing their families and loved ones.
I decided I'd leave tonight, so I began packing my duffle bag with the essentials. I moved to pull out a shirt and a photo fell to the ground. The picture Yuki forced me to take with her on our first day of high school. It got me thinking, I don't want to her her again but even if I left, who's to say I won't attack a random by-passer on the road or in an alley. Who's to say I won't lose my mind a kill more than a few others. That's when I remembered my gun. It was a gift from Cross. He had given it to me when I began my training to be a guarding for the school. "This gun won't hurt a human... but it will kill a vampire". With those words in my mind I raised the gun to my head.
I don't want to hurt anyone else ever again. This will protect them, Yuki, from me... it'll be fast, I probably won't feel a thing. Or maybe I'll feel everything, maybe I deserve that. I don't know. I don't care. I...
But all too soon it came to a screeching halt. Yuki had burst into my bedroom and as she saw what I was doing, she leaped towards me, calling my name. I wasn't ready for it. I felt her tackle me to the bed.
"What the hell do you think your doing!?"
My response was "nothing". I didn't want her to worry.
"Liar! You took off the gun's safety catch!"
I was confused, "why did you come here?" I asked.
She didn't answer so I flipped us over so that I was on top. I told her I was dangerous and got up, grabbed my bag and left her on my bed with a confused, maybe in worried or scared, face.
I made it down to the schools main gates before she caught up to me. She was out of breath yet she still ran to me and grabbed me from the back hugging me to her. I didn't turn to face her, just stood there and let her talk me out of leaving. It worked. I reluctantly followed her back to my room where she put my things back where they came from. She wouldn't leave me that night, sitting on my bed with me till she fell asleep.
The next day, she took me to see the chairman so that we could talk about what to do with me. I have never felt so mad at him. As we walked into his office he had a night class uniform in his arms, rambling on about how good it must look on me. I wanted to hit him but Yuki held me back.
Chairman Cross put on a serious face and Yuki and I knew that whatever came next wasn't going to be good.
"Zero-kun can't stay in the day class any longer."
It was heart breaking. I knew he meant to put me into the night class, even though he knew how I would hate it there.
"He can't go! He hates them and he'd get into fights and the night class are always so mean!" She tried to reason with him but someone else had entered the room.
"He needs to be with his own kind, we don't want any more accidents to happen now do we?" It was that bastard Kuran. Of course it was, why wouldn't he be here? I bet this was his fault, he convinced the chairman to transfer me to the night class.
"Kaname-senpai! What are you doing here?" Yuki was as ignorant as always.
"I've come to help the chairman with Kiryuu-kun's transfer paperwork. He'll be under my watch from now on."
Wait, under his watch? He's going to try and keep me in line, more like. I think he'll find it's harder than it looks. I will never bow down to him. I refuse to become one of his lackeys.
"Eeh?! But he won't like it there! Kaname-senpai, surely you can let him stay in the day class."
There was no point, I knew that Kuran wouldn't let me stay.
"I'm sorry, dear girl, but Kiryuu just isn't suited for the day class any longer. He must join our class and stay in the moon dorms where we can keep an eye on him."
I was livid. I did t want to live in that place, surrounded by more of those creatures. But as much as I hated the idea, I knew he was right. I couldn't let myself hurt Yuki any longer.
"Fine, I'll go. But I want my own room so I don't have to be around any of you longer than I need to be."
"Are you sure? I'm sure Kaname could do something to keep you in the day class!" Oh Yuki, always trying to make everyone happy. It doesn't work like that here.
"It'll be ok. I'm fine with going. I should go. I don't belong in the day class, I could hurt someone."
"If you are ok with it, then I guess I am too."
I wasn't ok with going, I just knew I had to. But she didn't need to know that. Yuki needed to believe I was fine with it. That way I can keep her safe and still keep at a distance.
"Zero-kun will still perform his duties as a guardian while being in the night class. Though he can't be patrolling around during class, he can keep check of all the night students whereabouts. And I will hire another to help Yuki patrol during the night. It's already set up. He will act as a student teacher for the day class. I believe you know him Zero-kun. He will be arriving with Touga-kun in a few days."
"I see. How long with Shishou be here? And who is coming with him?" I asked.
"He will actually be attending as a teacher for the night class and as for who is coming with him, it'll be Kaito-kun. You two haven't seen each other in quite a while have you? He's been over seas for the last 6 months this'll be his first assignment back home."
Kaito? It's true I haven't seen him since we were kids. He trained under Yagari-Shishou with Ichiru and I, though he was a few years older.
"Well, since they won't be here for a few days yet, I suppose it'll be efficient time for you to gather your things and bring them to your new room in the moon dorms. You'll even have time to get used to your new sleeping schedule."
"Oh goodie" I said sarcastically, "I can't wait to attend class with that lot."
"Don't be like that, Zero-kun. I'm sure it'll be just fine. You'll see Yumi before and after class every day and I'm sure you'll make some friends. It might actually be good for you."
I'm not so sure I'll make any friends, It'll be more like enemies.
"Well then Kiryuu-kun, I guess I'll see you at the moon dorms later tonight. You'd better get a head start on that sleep, you'll be up all night getting things ready for class tomorrow night."
With that, I headed back to my room in the sun dorms to gather my things. I didn't bother sleeping, I knew I couldn't. I was too anxious about tonight.
Au: I was literally up all night writing this. I swear, the middle of the night is when most of my ideas come to my head. Kinda sucks but oh well, I'll live. I don't have work tomorrow so I'll probably write more. Also, cause I don't want to write a disclaimer on all of the chapters like some people do, I'll put it here, where most people will probably see it.
I don't own vampire knight or any of the characters used in this story. Hino Matsuri-Sensei is a genius who deserves all the credit. Her art and stories are marvellous and a huge inspiration to me as an artist. I love how much work and time she puts into her stories. Please, if you haven't already, go read the original manga for vampire Knight then go read the after-story Vampire Knight Memories. Hell, even if you've already read them, read them again and just look at how her art evolves through each story arc.