Insecurity
Ralph's awareness of his insecurity has gone a long way to help him solve his problems, but the road ahead is long. The good news is, he's not alone.
It had been a month since Ralph almost broke the internet and things had gotten easier without Vanellope around, marginally anyway. They still talked two or three times a week, depending on how busy she was over in Slaughter Race. In the meantime, Ralph kept to his routine as best as he could. It kept his mind off the sting in his chest whenever he noticed the little weight on his shoulders had become accustomed to was no longer there.
There were still times during his day, whether being thrown from the Nicelander's building or lying in his bed at night, trying to go to sleep, when his insecurities would whisper in his ear, reminding him of what he had done to his best friend. These moments of darkness were always quick and fleeting, running across his mind like the tip of a knife, leaving behind the faintest sensation of the pain he'd felt when he had accidentally listened in on the fateful conversation between Shank and Vanellope, learning that she wanted to stay in Slaughter Race.
Most nights he was able to banish these thoughts on his own, reminding himself that Vanellope was still his best friend. He could still see her, he could still talk to her and most importantly she was happy. The players of Slaughter Race loved her, when Ralph passed by Knowsmore's booth, he often saw people searching up Sugar Rush, Vanellope and Lit Wak's Arcade, which was now the only place in the world with an operational Sugar Rush game. Yesss had reported some resistance to her sudden addition to the game, noting a small influx in video essays about their dissatisfaction with Slaughter Race and its 'new' direction. Despite the pushback, it seemed that Vanellope was there to stay and he was happy about that, truly he was.
There were some nights though, like this one, where her absence took a greater toll on him than normal. Sometimes, after a day of being crushed by teenagers trying to beat each other's high scores, he would give Vanellope a call just to hear her voice or make her laugh but there were some nights where she would be out racing or hanging out with her fellow princesses and he would need to find another way to cope with the thoughts crawling around inside his head. On these night's he was grateful he still had someone who loved Root Beer as much as did.
Ralph and Felix sat at their favorite spot in Tappers. Second bar from the screen, which gave them a great view of the night sky and sleepy neighborhood just outside the arcade they called home. On the edges of the screen, the glow of their home game could be seen on the left and on the right, the eerie reds and blues of Pac-Man. Felix hummed an improvised tune as he sipped on his root beer while Ralph downed the last of his mug before sending it to join the three at the end of the bar, waiting to be collected by Tapper.
"Thanks for hanging out with me tonight Felix," Ralph said with a grateful smile.
"Of course, partner." The Handyman replied, setting down his mug and turning himself towards Ralph.
"I know you and Tamora are celebrating your anniversary tonight, so when you need to go home, just let me know."
"That won't be for a while, Tamora is helping the new racers with their orientation. They have to build their carts and run practice races all through the night, so they'll be ready for tomorrow."
"Does she always help with that?" Ralph asked, signaling to Tapper to bring him another root beer.
"We switch off, she takes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I take Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. You only really need one person, just helps keep everything organized." He explained, waving to Sonic as he walked into the bar.
"That's cool, must be strange for her. Going from shooting cy-bugs all day to helping little kids learn how to drive all night."
"She loves it actually. Party of her backstory was that she was in the Engineering Corps. So, she'll give the kids tips on how to make their carts more aerodynamic and she's completely reworked Vanellope's castle. All the carts are in one big hangar bay with an access road that leads right to the track. Cuts down on loading times and we don't have to mess with the code. Players are pretty happy with it." Felix said before taking a sip from his root beer. "How's Vanellope anyway? She doing alright? Tamora and I have been wondering."
Ralph sighed as he picked up his root beer, starting dejectedly into the foam.
"She's good, I haven't talked to her this week because a new section of the game was just unlocked, and they've been swamped with players and events but the last time I talked to her she seemed pretty happy. She was telling me about all the new friend's she's made and how she's even shattered a few course records in the Downtown region. Shank has been trying to get her back for that, but she keeps coming up a few seconds too short. Vanellope said she didn't even have to glitch either!"
"That's fantastic!"
"Right?! She was grinning from ear to ear when she told me."
Felix was beaming with pride as was Ralph, but his smile quickly faded. Felix's gaze shifted from one of happiness to one of concern.
"How about you Ralph? How are you?" He asked.
"I'm…I'm ok. It's just hard, you get so used to seeing someone every day and then all of sudden it seems like life just comes along and takes them away. I know it probably sounds selfish but it sucks, but that's just life, I guess. I just hope this will get easier."
Felix's brow furrowed as he tapped on his root beer a few times before speaking.
"I can't say it will Ralph, I don't think I will ever be able to truly understand how you feel because I never experienced anything like what you've gone through. Well…actually…"
"What?" Ralph asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I remember a few months after we started dating, Tamora and I-"
Ralph seemed alarmed by the comparison.
"Well Vanellope and I aren't romantically involved, I mean she's a kid-"
Felix shook his head rapidly and stood up on the bar stool to meet his friend's gaze.
"No no, I know, but romantic love isn't the only kind of love Ralph. The love between friends is incredibly powerful, something you and Vanellope have demonstrated time and time again, so just hear me out. Ok?" Ralph nodded, and Felix sat back down.
"So one night, Tamora and I got in an argument. I honestly can't remember what it was about, it happened years ago but I do remember that she stopped coming over to stay the night-"
"Whoa, she stayed the night before you two were married? I always thought that you were more, uh traditional."
"We didn't do anything scandalous Ralph, get your mind out of the gutter!" Felix protested, his cheeks beet red as Ralph put his hands up in self-defense.
"Sorry, sorry continue."
"Now where was I, uh, oh yeah! She stopped seeing me for an entire week and I was miserable. I couldn't focus on anything, I couldn't eat, I could barely sleep, I saw her everywhere I went, it was awful."
"You saw her everywhere you went? How so?" Ralph pondered.
"I somehow, after dodging an attack from you, mistook Gene for her," Felix admitted, hanging his head in shame.
"Gene?!" Ralph asked, struggling not to laugh.
"Gene," Felix confirmed, shaking his head with a chuckle as he took off his hat and set it on the bar. The two looked at one another before bursting out into laughter.
"Did he realize what was going on?" Ralph managed to ask.
"Only after I called him my dynamite daffodil," Felix replied, wiping away a single tear.
"That's too perfect," Ralph said shaking his head. "So, the point of the embarrassing story is what exactly?"
"The point, my compadre, is that it hurts because Vanellope is one of the important people in your life and is not selfish that you miss her. I miss Tamora when she's off working or on night's like tonight when she's doing something, she loves but the love I have for her keep our hearts tied together Kinda like an anchor or really sturdy plumbing on a waterfront condo."
"Sturdy plumbing?" Ralph snickered.
"Look it's not the best metaphor but you get what I'm saying don't you?"
Ralph nodded. "I do."
"Ok good…and trust me on this one. When you finally get to see Vanellope again, it will be a magical moment when all this pain will be worth it. You can take all that love and pour it into the best hug you will probably ever give." Felix assured him.
Ralph nodded with a sigh, taking a long sip from his root beer.
"Feel any better partner?" Felix asked.
"A lot better actually." His friend replied with a smile as Felix got up to leave.
"Takin off already?"
"Unfortunately, yes, I've gotta get home and get started on dinner, although if you wanted to hang out a bit longer you could always-"
"No no that's alright buddy. Go home, get everything ready for your special night. I'll be alright." Ralph insisted.
"You sure?" Felix asked as his friend nodded.
"I'm sure, thanks again for coming to see me. It means a lot."
"Anytime brother, anytime." The handyman told him, tipping his hat before turning towards the exit, leaving Ralph alone at the bar sipping on his root beer. Today had significance for him and Vanellope, being the day the often referred to as their friendiversary. They usually went to do something special to celebrate today, but with Slaughter Race more popular than ever, it just wasn't possible this year.
As Ralph finished off what he decided would be his last root beer for the night, he felt a buzz in his pocket and quickly retrieved the little communication device Yesss had given to him during his brief stint as Buzztube star. When he saw Vanellope's face on the screen he flipped it open as quick as he could.
"Hey kiddo!" He beamed as the fuzzy hologram of his best friend waved excitedly to him. Her sweater was covered in scorch marks and spots of grease and her hair was disheveled, barely holding her signature ponytail together.
"Heya stinkbrain." She said with a grin before her eyes turned to the floor. Ralph noticed this right away and spoke with a tone of concern.
"Is everything alright?" He asked as her eyes rose up to meet his. Her form started to warp as she glitched, blue pixels rolling across her body like a wave as her voice came through as a distorted warble.
"I'm sorry I couldn't get the day off on our friendiversary. I know how important it is to you and I wish I was there to celebrate it with you." She began only for Ralph to silence her by raising his free hand.
"Hey hey its ok, we're both busy nowadays. Especially since you guys just got that new area unlocked. Sequoia Speedway right?"
Vanellope nodded enthusiastically, jumping up and down.
"It's so cool! It starts and ends with these big straightaways. They let muscle cars like Pyro's and Butcher Boy's pull ahead early, but the middle section is filled with a handful of hairpin turns that Tuner cars like mine can use to make up ground if we drift well enough." She explained. "Its full of these big trees that go up and up forever and ever. I bet even you couldn't knock them down."
Ralph scoffed. "Is that challenge?"
"You bet it is!" She replied. "That way you can wreck some stuff and then I'll get to see you." Ralph smiled at her comment as she sat down on a pile of tires.
"I miss you…a lot, especially today" She said quietly, shoving her hands into her sweater pockets, glitching again ever so slightly.
"I miss you a lot too." He replied, gently setting the communicator on the bar. "Stinks that we have to spend our friendiversary apart." Vanellope nodded in agreement but put on a brave smile.
"At least we have these communicators. We can kind of hang out." She offered.
"That's true, it's the next best thing!" Ralph declared.
"What have you been up to today?" Vanellope asked, idly swinging her legs.
"It's been business as usual for the most part. Once the arcade was closed for the day I came Tappers to hang out with Felix-"
"Felix?! I haven't talked to him in forever, can I say hi?" Vanellope exclaimed.
"He actually left just before you called. He's on his way home to celebrate his anniversary." Ralph told her.
"Shoot, just missed him." Vanellope muttered as her friend's face lit up.
"Speaking of Felix, wanna hear something hilarious?"
"Uh doy?" Vanellope replied leaning in closer.
"So one time, when our game was going, Felix mistook Gene for Tamora!"
"No way!"
"Way! He even called him his dynamite dandelion!"
Vanellope started cackling and Ralph's felt a warmth in the depths of his heart spread across his entire body. He loved that laugh since it always made his day. Once she had stopped goggling, Vanellope shook her head in disbelief.
"That's amazing…" She told her friend as the sound of a garage door shuttering could be heard in the background. Ralph knew what this meant.
"Closing up for the night?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm not on the night patrol so Felony, Pyro and I are getting ready to turn in for the night. We have to be up in a few hours for dawn patrol, so I have to get going, but I wish we could talk longer."
"Me too kid, but you need your rest. So, go get some shut eye, I bet you're exhausted." Ralph told her as she stretched her arms and yawned.
"We're still on for Christmas yeah?" She asked.
"Of course! I'm counting the days."
"Me too…ok, I'll let you go Ralph. Happy friendiversary stinkbrain."
"Happy friendiversary to you too baroness boogerface."
Ralph started to close the communicator only for Vanellope to blurt out
"Love you!"
Ralph smiled warmly and waved goodbye to her.
"Love you too."
The hologram dissipated with a flicker, leaving Ralph alone yet again but feeling much better than he did earlier in the evening. Being apart from his best friend was hard, and there were days where it was definitely harder than normal, but it was all part of being best friends forever. No matter where she was, or what adventure she was on, Ralph would always love Vanellope, forever and forever was a long time coming.