Title: Lights go on Again
Type: Oneshot
Pairing: Luffy/Ace
Rating: PG-13
Warning: spoilers for ch574 and up [in which I believe the anime is nearing]
Length: ~500
Inspiration: B2ST – Lights go on Again
A/N: My dearest Ace, Happy Birthday!
Luffy know, that when he sees Ace now, it's a dream he's hallucinating. His older brother isn't really there. When Luffy desperately wraps his arms around Ace, unwilling to let go, he knows the soft skin he feels is all in his imagination. He knows the hoarse voice that shines brightly into his soul is just the wishes from deep inside.
Ace was no longer here.
And Luffy no longer knew what to do.
His heart has been damaged. Luffy acknowledges this after a while, after those days where the only thing he could think of is Ace. And to this day, his brother fills his thoughts, his smile, his strength, his warmth. He was the light that continuously blinked throughout his life, guiding him along the path of life.
Even though Luffy could no longer reach him now, in his dreams, when he closes his eyes and lets his imagination do the work, Luffy feels that he could reach Ace, feels that he could finally wander free from the darkness that has dazed him. Because, lights go on again and there will never be a time when Ace will not shine brighter. He continues to shine, endlessly as Luffy's string of light.
And every time Luffy thought back to that moment, he would feel as though he were frozen back into that time again, where the only thing that seemed to matter to him disappeared from him, as though it were light leaking from the cracks on his hand. Even though time passed, he was tired, and tears? They no longer meant anything anymore.
Every time Luffy indulges himself into his dreamland, he knows for a fact that it is the bright light that shines on him in which wakes him up from his slumber, it was always his presence and that charming smile. Yet each time his eyes open, he feels exhausted, his path has lost to the darkness and his vision becomes blurry. Luffy doesn't want to wait for the lights to go on again, he wants to believe that they had never turned off, that they had always been there, that Ace had never left.
Delusion comes at a heavy price.
To truly be frozen in that one moment and then building a wall around yourself to ignore that reality, a wall so high where it was even difficult for light to shine through. But that's not the life Ace would have wanted Luffy to live. Luffy knew because every time he closed his eyes, he would see Ace. So bright, so bright.
Luffy wonders if he can cruelly gauge his heart out to take a look, to see how damaged it is, to see the pain it has suffered, to see the wounds that are still there, unable to heal and turn into scars. He doesn't even want to know how his heart could bear the hurt. And Luffy whispers after he takes a short breath, a hand reaching out to his light, wanting to grasp onto his brother, still wanting to never let go, "will you give me the strength and the confidence to stand before my comrades again?"