Disclaimer: We don't own SVU, although Prairie wouldn't mind owning Elliot. ;o)

Authors' Notes: This story is AU, but it does take place in Season 12. Elliot is divorced from Kathy. This is Moochie's first venture into the world of SVU ficdom, so give her some encouragement. –Prairie

Special thanks to SVUProductions for answering my questions. -Prairie

Finding the Way Home

Chapter 1

Olivia Benson sat at her desk staring morosely at the dredges in the bottom of her coffee cup. The late afternoon sounds of the squadroom faded out and her mind traveled back to the little boy that had been ripped out of her arms. She hadn't heard anything from Calvin in the two months since he'd been gone, not that she'd really expected his grandparents to let him contact her. She prayed that he was healthy and happy with them; she hoped they loved him as much as she did.

A sudden hand on her shoulder made her jump and she looked up into the concerned blue eyes of her partner. "Liv, are you okay?" Elliot asked, the warmth of his hand seeping through the thin cotton shirt she was wearing and causing a tremor to run through her at his touch.

"I'm fine," she told him, her big brown eyes dull and unhappy.

"Liv, I've known you a long time; I know when you're not telling me the truth. You're thinking about Calvin again, aren't you?" he pointed out. Elliot was worried about his partner; he had never seen her this depressed even though he had known her through some rough times in her life.

"El, I told you I'm fine," Olivia snapped, surging to her feet and grabbing her coat. "I'm heading home." She knew that if she stayed and opened up to her partner tears would be sure to follow, and she didn't want anyone to see her cry.

She left Elliot staring worriedly after her, wanting nothing more than to pull her into his arms and make everything better.

By the time she reached her apartment, Olivia's hands were shaking so badly she could hardly get the key into the lock. She finally got the door open and walked inside, flipping on the light. Silence greeted her. Olivia took off her coat and hung it up before heading into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. The quiet of the apartment pressed against her eardrums. There was no one jumping out from the doorway to scare her. No one was complaining about homework or begging to stay up late. As she waited for the water to heat, she turned her attention to the picture attached to the front of the refrigerator with a magnet. She ran her finger over the name "Calvin Benson." Tears burned behind her eyes. She missed the little boy that had quickly become like a son to her.

The teapot whistled and Olivia poured the hot water into her mug, picking it up and wrapping her hands around it for warmth. She settled into a chair at the dining room table and flipped through advertisements that had arrived in the day's mail. The sudden ringing of her cell phone in the silence made her jump and she fumbled to answer it.

"Ms. Benson, this is Hannah Cooper with ACS. I am Calvin Arliss' social worker. His grandparents asked me to call you."

"What's wrong?" Olivia's heart began to pound in her chest. "Is Calvin all right?"

"Calvin has been involved in an accident," the woman stated.

"What kind of accident? Please, just tell me if he's okay." Olivia knew it had to be bad for the child's social worker to be calling her. Her stomach churned with fear.

"Ms. Benson, Calvin was walking home from school when he was the victim of a hit and run. It was dark and a car blew through a stop sign, hitting him. He has head injuries and a broken leg that will require extensive surgery if he ever hopes to walk again. He was asking the paramedics for you before he lapsed into a coma."

Olivia's mind whirled. Her precious little boy was in a hospital with head injuries. "What...uhhh...what are the extent of his head injuries? How bad are they?" It was hard to force words around the lump in her throat.

"The doctors aren't sure just yet. Calvin's grandparents have said it's okay for you to come see him; they know he'd want you to be there."

"Where is he?" Olivia asked, wiping at tears that trickled down her cheeks.

"Sacred Cross Hospital in Elizabeth, New Jersey," Hannah replied.

"New Jersey? I thought they lived in Vermont," Olivia told the social worker in confusion.

"They just moved to Jersey last month to be near friends and were in the process of getting settled."

"I'm on my way to the hospital." Olivia hung up the phone and placed her head in her hands on the table, sobbing. She couldn't believe this was happening. Bright-eyed, feisty Calvin was now fighting for his life in a hospital. She stood up and hurried into her bedroom, snatching a duffle bag from the bottom of her closet. Then she tossed in jeans, sweaters, and clean underwear, prepared to stay for a few days until she knew Calvin was going to be okay. She refused to let herself think otherwise.

Olivia slung her duffle bag over her shoulder and snatched her keys off the hallway table, locking her door behind her. On her way down to her car, she called Elliot's cell. He didn't answer, so she left him a message. "El, it's me. I just got a call that Calvin has been hurt in a hit and run. I'm on my way to Sacred Cross Hospital in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Let the Captain know for me." Olivia hated that her voice sounded shaky and teary. She didn't want Elliot to worry; she knew he would.

The two of them had been growing closer lately, ever since Elliot's divorce from Kathy last year. They spent time together after work going out to dinner or crashing on the couch to watch a movie. The pair even looked for reasons to touch one another, whether it was a pat on the back or a brush of a hand against an arm. More than a few times Olivia was sure they had come close to sharing a kiss. But none of that was at the forefront of her mind right now; all she could think about was Calvin.

Olivia hung up and opened her car door, tossing her duffle onto the passenger seat. "I'm coming, Calvin," she whispered as she started her car.

Elliot Stabler left the movies with his twins and checked his phone. He had one message from Olivia. The teenagers bounded along ahead of him as they discussed their favorite part of the movie they had just seen. El listened to Olivia's message and came to a dead stop in the middle of the lobby of the theater. Someone plowed into him from behind and growled at him in irritation, but Elliot didn't pay any attention. All he knew was that Calvin was hurt and Olivia needed him. He jogged forward to catch up with his kids. "Dickie, call your mom and tell her I'm bringing you home."

Both teens looked at him in confusion. "I have an emergency, and I have to drive to New Jersey tonight." The look on Elliot's face made his children realize the severity of the situation, and Dickie called his mom with no questions asked.

Elliot dropped off the twins and then, glad he kept a duffle with a change of clothes in the trunk of his car, got on the Interstate, and headed for Olivia and Calvin. His mind jumped from one scenario to the other as he tried to guess what Calvin's injuries might be.

Elliot knew Olivia had been thinking about Calvin at work today; he could see it in her eyes. The loss of the boy was eating her up inside. Instead of berating her for caring too much at the time Calvin was taken away, he should have been helping her work through her grief over losing the child. Thankfully, he and Olivia had grown closer lately; Elliot had never felt this way about anyone before, not even Kathy. He had to get to Olivia. He pressed his foot harder against the accelerator.

Olivia parked in the garage at the hospital and half-walked, half-jogged across the parking lot to the emergency entrance. She was panting by the time she entered the double doors and walked to the receptionist. "I'm looking for Calvin Arliss," she puffed, brushing her dark hair back from her face. "He was involved in a hit and run accident."

"Are you immediate family?" the desk clerk asked in a no-nonsense manner.

Olivia flashed her badge, knowing the woman would assume she was involved in the investigation of the hit and run.

The receptionist checked her computer. "He's upstairs in surgery right now."

"Surgery?" Olivia asked anxiously. "For what?"

"Head trauma. His brain was swelling, and they had to go in and relieve the pressure."

If Olivia hadn't been holding on to the counter, her legs may have given way beneath her. "What floor?" she managed to choke out.

"Fourth," the receptionist replied, not giving Olivia another glance.

Olivia hurried to the elevator and upstairs, her stomach burning with fear and her palms sweaty. She wanted nothing more than to get to her little boy and hold him in her arms. When the elevator doors opened, she followed the signs to the surgical waiting room and found an older couple, much older than she had actually expected, waiting huddled in the far corner.

Taking a deep breath, Olivia forced her feet to carry her across the room to the elderly couple. When they looked up at him, she cleared her throat and asked, "Are you Calvin's grandparents?"

The grandfather stood and offered his hand. "Charlie Arliss and this is my wife Gretta. You must be Calvin's Olivia. We have heard so much about you. Our boy loves you, but we figured he needed time to adjust to being with us and we knew his mother wouldn't want him to contact you." The man eyes were sad and his shoulders drooped with worry.

Olivia shook his hand. "Have you heard any news yet? What are the doctors saying about his prognosis?" She offered the grandmother her hand as well. The woman shook it with a feeble grip.

The old man shook his head. "The doctors say his leg is broken real bad. He'll need surgery and physical therapy, but they're mostly concerned with the head injury right now. They don't know if there is going to be any brain damage, but they had to go in to relieve the pressure on his brain." The man's voice broke and he sank back down into the chair next to his wife. "I can't believe this is happening," he sobbed. "He was just walking home from around the corner."

Calvin's grandmother dabbed at her eyes with a balled up tissue. "Olivia, Calvin would be so glad that you are here. I'm glad that you came."

"Thank you," Olivia told her softly, taking a seat across from the couple. "I love him very much, and I really appreciate that you notified me when he was hurt."

"He asked for you in the ambulance," the Gretta Arliss explained. "To be honest, he's asked for you everyday since he came to live with us."

"Family of Calvin Arliss?" a doctor asked, coming to stand in the doorway. Olivia surged to her feet while Calvin's grandparents rose much more slowly. The doctor walked across the room and shook everyone's hand. "I'm Doctor Reed. I operated on Calvin."

"How is he?" Olivia asked, her voice thick with worry.

"Calvin survived the surgery, but we don't know the extent of the brain damage he has suffered. He could wake up tomorrow and be fine or he could need constant care the rest of his life."

"No!" the old woman cried, sobbing into her hands. Her husband had silent tears trickling down his cheeks as he held his wife close.

Olivia was stunned. Her heart pounded very loud in her ears as she thought of the vibrant little boy in her apartment, chasing her and squirting her with a water gun. She wrapped her arms around herself and sucked in a deep breath, barely able to talk around the lump in her throat. "Can we see him?" she asked.

The doctor nodded. "We are getting him settled in the ICU right now. A nurse will come get you when you can see him."

"Thank you, Doctor," the grandfather told the man. "We appreciate everything you've done for our grandson."

Once the doctor left, silence descended over the small group in the waiting room. The Arlisses cried softly together and Olivia huddled in her chair, her mind unwilling to believe that Calvin may never be the same little boy again. It seemed like forever until a nurse came to lead them to the ICU's small waiting room and then took Calvin's grandparent's back to visit him, leaving Olivia alone.

Unable to sit still any longer, she got to her feet and paced the confines of the small room. She spied a coffee pot in one corner and poured herself a cup. She took a sip and made a face, hurrying into the bathroom to empty the dark liquid into the sink. When she returned to the waiting room, Calvin's grandparents were just entering and returning to their seats, their faces pale and drawn.

"Would you like to see him now?" the nurse asked her.

"Yes, please," Olivia told her and followed the young woman down the hall.

She stopped at a doorway and motioned for Olivia to go inside. "You can visit with him for five minutes," she told the detective.

Olivia nodded and stepped inside the doorway, freezing at the sight of the little boy on the bed. He no longer looked like Calvin. His head had been shaved for the surgery and was wrapped in white gauze. His face was as pale as the sheets he was laying on and he was hooked to so many tubes and wires. Olivia felt a sob tear from her throat as she hurried to the little boy's side. "Calvin, I'm so sorry, sweetie," she murmured, brushing the back of her fingers against the boy's cheek. "I love you so much, and I'm right here. You just hang in there and get better for me, okay?" Tears dripped down her face and onto the blanket. "I'll be here at the hospital when you wake up."

She slid her hand carefully into the boy's. "It's going to be okay, Calvin, but you have to work really hard to get better. I'm going to ask your grandparents if you can come visit me. I'm still sleeping on the couch, you know, so the bed is open for you." Olivia leaned her face against Calvin's shoulder and sobbed until the nurse came to get her. "I love you, Calvin," she whispered one more time, kissing his cheek before following the nurse down the hall.

She immediately went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face upon entering the waiting room. She didn't want to upset Calvin's grandparents any more than they already were. Wiping her eyes one last time with trembling hands, she opened the door and rejoined them.

The time passed slowly. The nurse came back and took Calvin's grandparents to his room to see him again. Olivia sat huddled in her chair in the waiting room, staring blankly at the white wall across from her.

"Liv? How is he?"

Olivia whipped her head around to see Elliot hurrying into the waiting room, his face lined with concern. "I was at the movies with the twins, so I didn't get your message right away." He studied her face and knew the news wasn't good. Sinking into the chair next to her, he pinned her with his gaze and placed a gentle hand on her forearm. "Liv, what are the doctors saying?"

Olivia took a deep, shaky breath, knowing she couldn't hide her feelings from Elliot right now. They were too raw. "Uhmm, the doctors don't know what's going to happen with Calvin. They said he could wake up tomorrow and be perfectly fine or he could never be my Calvin again." Her voice broke on the last word and she buried her face in her hands.

She felt strong arms wrap around her, then she was pressed against Elliot's chest, crying into his t-shirt. Her body shook with sobs; all it took was Elliot's touch for her to release them.

"I'm sorry, Liv; I'm so sorry," he murmured over and over into her hair, stroking a strong, warm hand up and down her back.

The sound of someone clearing his throat made Elliot look up from his partner. Liv kept her face buried against his neck. He found himself looking at a man and a woman, both wearing long trench coats and stern expressions. He knew they were cops.

"I'm Detective Lance and this is my partner, Detective Hayes," the older cop, a man, said as he introduced both himself and the younger female officer. "We are investigating the hit and run accident that injured Calvin Arliss."

Olivia finally pulled back and wiped at her face, turning her attention to the two detectives as Calvin's grandparents reentered the waiting room.

To Be Continued…

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