So you guys heard the bad news, "Truth or Dare: Cars and HTF" is going to be no more. Blame Critics United. Even though they'll tell you it's not their fault, it is. Anyway, I'm still gonna write a T or D story, I'm just not gonna ask for help. Btw, if you wanna drop me a line about how much of a disgrace this all is, you can get my email address in my profile. (wink wink, nudge nudge) Moving on, I do plan to use some of the OCs I was loaned. Midnight the panther and Twitchy the bear. The basic jist of this new story is that the HTFs are sitting around a campfire and someone suggests that they play Truth or Dare. Without further adue, on with the story!
"C-A-M-P F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. It'll help if you just sing along", Cuddles sang. He and his friends had decided to spend the weekend camping. They were in the process of roasting marshmallows, as per camping tradition.
"OW!", Twitchy yelped, "I burned my hand!".
"How'd ya do that?", Cuddles asked.
"I was putting a log into the fire and I didn't let go of it in time", Twitchy said.
"Let me look at it", Midnight said, "It's only a first degree burn. You'll be fine in a day or two".
"First, my favorite fanfiction story gets taken down, now this. Can this weekend get any worse?". Twitchy asked.
"Cheer up, Buddy", Flippy said, patting Twitchy on the back, "Things will get better".
Handy looked at Prickly and said, "What kinda creature are you, anyway?".
Prickly stared blankly at Handy and said, "I'm a Porcubear".
"What's with your color?", Handy asked.
"What's wrong with my color?", Prickly asked, semi offendedly.
"Blue fur and red quills", Handy said, "It just seems strange".
Prickly smiled and said, "What about you? Orange fur and no arms? Wazzup with that?".
Handy made his signature angry face and growled.
Prickly chuckled and said, "Calm down, I just wanted to see you make the angry face".
"Boy,", Midnight said, "I sure could use a drink right about now".
Prickly offered his flask to Midnight and said, "Whiskey?".
"Is it bourbon?", Midnight asked.
"No", Prickly replied, "It's homebrew".
Midnight shrugged and said, "What the hell. Whiskey is Whiskey". She took the flask and drank from it. When she lowered the flask, she staggered slightly, looked at Prickly and asked him, "Where do you live? Mars?".
Prickly smiled and said, "It's an old family recipe. My Great-Great-Great-Granddaddy made the first batch in his dirt floored kitchen in Ireland. My Great-Great-Granddaddy brought it over with him when the family moved here insearch of a new life in a new land".
Midnight said, "Well, your Great-Great-Great-Granddaddy knew what he was doing".
Prickly smiled. Anyone with half a brain could tell that Prickly liked Midnight. I mean, he really liked Midnight. The only problem was, he was too shy to tell her. It was right at that moment that Prickly promised himself, "I will tell her how I feel for her, and I will do it this weekend".
"So that's why you have red quills." Handy said, "You're Irish".
Prickly rolled his eyes and said, "Ya think?".
Flippy smiled and said, "Prickly, I bet I can still drink more beer than you".
Prickly laughed and said, "I don't think so. Ya know what my idea of a seven course meal is? A six pack of beer and a potato".
Flippy opened the cooler, threw Prickly a can of beer and said, "Let's just find out, right now".
"You're on!", Prickly said.
"What does the winner get?", Flippy asked.
"Bragging rights", Prickly stated as he cracked open his beer, "that's worth more than any amount of money".
"Not to interrupt your "Man time", but I'm starting to get bored", Flaky said.
Petunia and Giggles nodded in agreement. It seemed that all there was to do was drink beer/whatever was in Prickly's flask, burn yourself and get bitten by Mosquitos.
"I know what we can do", Disco Bear said.
Midnight gave him a dirty stare, put her hand on the handle of her katana [samari sword] and said, "If you say, "Disco dance", I'm gonna kill you".
Disco Bear's eyes almost popped out of his head. He quickly stammered, "Nonononono. No. No. I was going to suggest Ulimate Frisbee".
Toothy said, "Hey, Disco Bear, 1975 called, They want their clothes back".
Disco Bear looked flatly at Toothy and said, "Hardy har har. Did your boyfriend tell you that one?".
Toothy said, "Hey, I may be gay, but at least I know the difference between good style and bad. What happened to you? Were you attacked by a grave? And the shoes. What are you trying to do, look bigger? And that hair. Don't even get me started on the hair. When was the last time that thing saw a clipper? Newsflash! You're not Carrot Top! You look like a pumpkin sitting ontop of a banana!". [Ha ha. I made Toothy really gay. Why? Because I could.]
Splendid put his arm around Toothy and said, "Calm down, Toothy".
Toothy looked Splendid in the eyes and said, "Splendid, just look at him. He looks like a sequent train wreck. Anyone with eyes can see that".
"He's right, ya know", said Prickly.
"How about we play a drinking game?", Midnight suggested.
Prickly felt his heart melt when he heard that.
"Nah", Cuddles said.
Midnight then said, "Well, then who do ya gotta fuck to get a beer around here?".
At that point, Midnight owned Prickly's soul. He knew, without a doubt, he was in love. He called, "Midnight! Incoming!", and tossed her a beer. She caught it with one hand, only having barely glanced at the can. 'Wow, she's awesome', Prickly thought.
"I have an idea", Twitchy said, "Let's play 'Bloody knuckles'".
Flippy looked at Twitchy like he was crazy and said, "That has 'bad idea' written all over it".
Petunia said, "So, what are we gonna do? If we're only gonna sit here, drink, burn ourselves and...", she slapped her arm, "get bitten by Mosquitos, I'd rather be spending my time in town. Atleast there aren't as many Mosquitos there. Why did I agree to come on this stupid trip? Nobody ever told me that there'd be this much dirt and all these bugs", and she sprayed herself down with bug spray for the eleventh time in ten minutes.
Prickly said, "Don't worry about the dirt, Petunia", he scooped up a handful of dirt and let it trickle through his fingers, "this is clean dirt. Besides, there aren't that many Skeeters out here tonight".
"Well, maybe not for you, but I'm being eaten alive here!", Petunia almost yelled, "Not to mention, this bug spray I bought from The Mole doesn't do a thing".
Twitchy looked at the can and his eyes grew three sizes. He said, "Uh, Petunia, that's not bug spray. It's meat tenderizer".
Mosquitos covered Petunia in seconds. She screamed, ran to the nearby river and dove in, washing away the Mosquitos and the spray.
Mime threw an invisable lasso around Petunia and pulled her back to dry land.
Nutty jackhammered around like he always did, giggling like a fool. He looked all around himself, took a handful of sugar from the bag he always carried, and ate it. He yelled, "SUGARHIGH! SUGARHIGHSUGERHIGHSUGARHIGH!". He tornadoed through the camp yelling, "IFUCKINGLOVESUGARHIGHS! GOFLYACOATYOULIVEINASHOE!".
Prickly sighed, plucked one of his quills, and threw it like a dart a Nutty.
Nutty stopped tornadoing, grabbed his leg and fell to the ground.
Prickly asked Nutty, "Now when are you gonna learn?".
Nutty shrugged his shoulders.
Prickly said, "How many times am I going to have to say this? No sugar without your medication".
Nutty said, "That doesn't apply out here. There's no one for me to bother".
Prickly said, "That's where you're wrong. As long as we're all together out here, the rules still apply. If you break the rules, you get hit with one of my quills. Now, I'm not gonna be a total dick and take your sugar away, but I will make a deal with you. You can have all the sugar you want, but you must either take your medication or moderate your sugar consumption. If you don't do either, I'm gonna take your sugar away. Do we have a deal?".
Nutty nodded his head really fast and took his meds.
"Good", said Prickly.
"So, what are we gonna do?", asked Russel.
Everyone looked at Russel in shock and said, "You can speak regular english?".
"Aye", Russel said.
"Well, why don't you?", Sniffles asked.
Russel said, "Because, when people see a guy with an eyepatch, a hook hand and two peg legs, they automaticly assume he's a pirate. Hell, I could be going to work everyday, working in a corner office, wearing a three piece suit and carrying a brief case. People would still expect me to say, 'Yar! I'll be in me office, hold me calls. Yar! Where's me meeting?'".
"What happened to you, anyway?", Lifty asked.
"Yeah", Shifty said, "were you in some kinda accident?".
Russel shook his head and said, "No, my father was a tree".
"How's that work?", Lumpy asked.
Russel looked at Lumpy and said, "You don't wanna know".
Lumpy recoiled slightly at the thought.
"I have an idea!", Prickly said, "Let's play Truth or Dare".
Everybody agreed. They would play a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare.
Prickly said, "I'll go first. Flippy, truth or dare?".
"Dare", said Flippy.
Prickly smiled and said, "I dare you to stick your 'Num-yos' in a beehive".
Flippy asked, "My what?".
Prickly stifled a giggle and said, "Your Num-yos. Your joystick, wang, willy, magic stick, happy sacks, family jewels, one-eyed monster, I could do this all day".
Flippy said, "I still don't know what your talking about".
Prickly sighed and said, "Your dick".
"Oh, hell no!", Flippy cried.
"What? Ya scared of bees?", Twitchy asked.
"No", Flippy replied, "I'm scared of bee stings. Especially bee stings on my penis and testicles".
Midnight said, "Well, you were dared. Once you're dared, you're dared. You gotta do it".
"Fine". Flippy said, "Where's a beehive?".
"I'll be right back", said Midnight, and she went into the woods. She came back a few minutes later with her katana in her hands and a beehive on the end of it. "Here ya go, Flippy", she said.
Flippy took the beehive, unzipped his pants and said, "Well, here goes", and he inserted himself into the beehive. "OW! OW! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!", he screamed as he pulled himself out of the beehive and was swarmed by angry bees. [_]
Toothy hid behind Splendid and cried, "I'm allergic to bees!".
"What do we do? What do we do?", Flaky asked.
Prickly laughed as he ran over to his rusty, old Ford pickup and grabbed the CO2 fire extinguisher he kept in the back. He ran back over to Flippy and sprayed him down with the CO2. "There ya go", he said.
Flippy just stared at Prickly until he said, "Flippy, you can put your dick away now".
Flippy said, "No, I can't".
"Fair enough", Prickly said.
Flaky looked at Flippy and said, "Here, let me kiss it and make it better". [XD]
"Whose next?", Prickly asked.
So, what did you think? I think you guys and girls understand exactly whats going on here. Once again, Blame the stupid rules and Critics United for me having to do it this way. See ya next time. Bye.