Boston Public Scene 1
Scene: Principal Steven's office.
[Enter: Harry Senate]
Senate: Steven, do you have a moment, Steven?
Steven: grrrr.
Senate: Great. Steven, I think I have a bit of a problem, and I need your help.
Steven: grrr. grrr.
Senate: Well, I was trying to teach my class the importance of responsibility, or social awareness, or something, I kinda forget. Anyway, I brought a cooler filled with nuclear waste-product into the classroom for the kids to look at. By shear coincidence, I have a friend who works in a nuclear power plant, or something. He used to work for a morgue and some other places, but quit.
Steven. grrrrrrr.
Senate: Anyway, the problem is that Jamal, my student who I set up to work at the morgue, spilled the cooler and now the entire basement of Winslow High is a nuclear disaster area. I think we ought to call the police or something, but not until I've convinced Jamal to tell everybody he's sorry. Or something. To tell you the truth, not much of what I say makes a whole lot of sense, so it's hard to say.
Steven. You. Brought. What? Into. Your. Classroom?
Senate: Look, all I was trying to do was, err, show them the importance of coolers.
[enter Scott]
Scott: Bark bark bark! Bark!!
Steven: I. Know. And. I'm. dealing. With. It. Now.
Scott: [to Harry] Bark!
Senate: Come on, Scott, that's not fair, Just because I've recklessly endangered the safety and well being of the school for the 57th time doesn't mean it's inappropriate to have me in the classroom.
Steven: grrr grr.
Scott: Mister Senate!!!! Barky bark bark bark , however! Bark bark bark!!!
Senate: Shut up Scott! I know you're Vice Principal, but I'm going to flagrantly show insubordination to you once again, because the writers of the show have decided a teacher can repeatedly insult his boss without getting fired. I would like to tell you that you should support me for once, despite the fact that I'm clearly not entirely in command of my faculties. However, instead I'm going to go sulk now on my own so that we can quasi-reconcile by the end of the episode.
[exit Senate]
Steven: Grr.. grrrr.
Scott: Steven, you can't possibly bark bark bark bark!!
Steven: grrr. mumble mumble i'm going to side with Harry on this one Scott. Even though he's erratic and a borderline sociopath, i know he has the kids' best interests at heart. Or something.
Scott: Bark bark bark!
[Enter Louisa]
Louisa: I'm just here to reiterate what has occurred in this episode, even though you already say it. I have no other reason for being on the show. So, Harry's managed to spill nuclear waste all over the basement of the school!
Steven: grrr. mumble mumble
Louisa: Oh, one other thing. May I mention that the person who wrote this little Boston Public Parody's email address is FunnyHatUS@yahoo.com ? And that his website is http://www.geocities.com/funnyhatus ?
Scott: No! You! May! Not!
Louisa: Fine, Scott, Fine. Be that way. Well, I'm off to act annoyed for no particular reason.
[Exit Louisa]
Steven: grumble, grrr. Well, I think that.
[Enter Ronnie Cooke]
Ronnie: Steven! I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more! Do you realize what's going on in your school? I'm mad?! Did you hear me?! How can you do this?! I am now going to critique your job as principal, even though I've only been teaching for a few months and you've been in education for years, and have a "degree" or something!
Steven: Ronnie, grumble, grumble.
Scott: bark bark bark! Knocking before you enter bark bark?
Ronnie: Stuff it, Guber!
Scott: ok.
Steven: Scott. What. Are. You. Doing. Under. My. Desk?
Scott: make her go away!!
Steven: mumble mumble
Ronnie: What did you say?
Steven: i said, what seems to be the problem.
Ronnie: Oh, sorry. Your voice was so low that the windows were rattling and I couldn't hear you. Um, I dunno, but I think every so often, as a lawyer, I have to I have to charge in here and act angry. David Kelley's other shows have lawyers and that's what they do, so I figure it's appropriate.
Steven: grumble grumble
[Exit Ronnie]
Steven: grrr.
Scott: Steven, you know, your leadership truly inspires me. Now that I'm not yelling at people, would you like to hear a ten minute speech on the nobility of teachers?
Steven: grrrrrrr.
END
[Enter: Harry Senate]
Senate: Steven, do you have a moment, Steven?
Steven: grrrr.
Senate: Great. Steven, I think I have a bit of a problem, and I need your help.
Steven: grrr. grrr.
Senate: Well, I was trying to teach my class the importance of responsibility, or social awareness, or something, I kinda forget. Anyway, I brought a cooler filled with nuclear waste-product into the classroom for the kids to look at. By shear coincidence, I have a friend who works in a nuclear power plant, or something. He used to work for a morgue and some other places, but quit.
Steven. grrrrrrr.
Senate: Anyway, the problem is that Jamal, my student who I set up to work at the morgue, spilled the cooler and now the entire basement of Winslow High is a nuclear disaster area. I think we ought to call the police or something, but not until I've convinced Jamal to tell everybody he's sorry. Or something. To tell you the truth, not much of what I say makes a whole lot of sense, so it's hard to say.
Steven. You. Brought. What? Into. Your. Classroom?
Senate: Look, all I was trying to do was, err, show them the importance of coolers.
[enter Scott]
Scott: Bark bark bark! Bark!!
Steven: I. Know. And. I'm. dealing. With. It. Now.
Scott: [to Harry] Bark!
Senate: Come on, Scott, that's not fair, Just because I've recklessly endangered the safety and well being of the school for the 57th time doesn't mean it's inappropriate to have me in the classroom.
Steven: grrr grr.
Scott: Mister Senate!!!! Barky bark bark bark , however! Bark bark bark!!!
Senate: Shut up Scott! I know you're Vice Principal, but I'm going to flagrantly show insubordination to you once again, because the writers of the show have decided a teacher can repeatedly insult his boss without getting fired. I would like to tell you that you should support me for once, despite the fact that I'm clearly not entirely in command of my faculties. However, instead I'm going to go sulk now on my own so that we can quasi-reconcile by the end of the episode.
[exit Senate]
Steven: Grr.. grrrr.
Scott: Steven, you can't possibly bark bark bark bark!!
Steven: grrr. mumble mumble i'm going to side with Harry on this one Scott. Even though he's erratic and a borderline sociopath, i know he has the kids' best interests at heart. Or something.
Scott: Bark bark bark!
[Enter Louisa]
Louisa: I'm just here to reiterate what has occurred in this episode, even though you already say it. I have no other reason for being on the show. So, Harry's managed to spill nuclear waste all over the basement of the school!
Steven: grrr. mumble mumble
Louisa: Oh, one other thing. May I mention that the person who wrote this little Boston Public Parody's email address is FunnyHatUS@yahoo.com ? And that his website is http://www.geocities.com/funnyhatus ?
Scott: No! You! May! Not!
Louisa: Fine, Scott, Fine. Be that way. Well, I'm off to act annoyed for no particular reason.
[Exit Louisa]
Steven: grumble, grrr. Well, I think that.
[Enter Ronnie Cooke]
Ronnie: Steven! I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more! Do you realize what's going on in your school? I'm mad?! Did you hear me?! How can you do this?! I am now going to critique your job as principal, even though I've only been teaching for a few months and you've been in education for years, and have a "degree" or something!
Steven: Ronnie, grumble, grumble.
Scott: bark bark bark! Knocking before you enter bark bark?
Ronnie: Stuff it, Guber!
Scott: ok.
Steven: Scott. What. Are. You. Doing. Under. My. Desk?
Scott: make her go away!!
Steven: mumble mumble
Ronnie: What did you say?
Steven: i said, what seems to be the problem.
Ronnie: Oh, sorry. Your voice was so low that the windows were rattling and I couldn't hear you. Um, I dunno, but I think every so often, as a lawyer, I have to I have to charge in here and act angry. David Kelley's other shows have lawyers and that's what they do, so I figure it's appropriate.
Steven: grumble grumble
[Exit Ronnie]
Steven: grrr.
Scott: Steven, you know, your leadership truly inspires me. Now that I'm not yelling at people, would you like to hear a ten minute speech on the nobility of teachers?
Steven: grrrrrrr.
END