The cold metal bit at my chest, hissing and burning in reaction to the contact. Blood wells up to the surface and I breathe a sigh of relief, the tension suddenly leaves my body and I can breathe normally again. I place the Holy Blade back into my wallet and shove it deep into my jeans pocket. You see, normal blades don't damage my skin as bad as one that is soaked in holy water does. The holy water blade leaves a faint scar after cutting and does far more damage when compared to a normal blade. if I used a normal blade, my skin would heal the cut right up, before it even had a chance to bleed, leaving no trace or damage. When I first starting cutting I used the latter option as it allowed me to be discreet, after a while it wasn't enough I wanted more.
More pain.
More Blood.
More Feeling.
The only thing in the world that I wanted was to feel something.
My brother found out about my nasty habit after I got carried away using my kurikara as my weapon of choice against myself. He told my classmates to watch me, even though they didn't care in the first damn place, and he and mephisto, forced me to see a therapist, reluctantly, I obliged ( not that I had a choice since mephisto was involved) and attended fortnightly sessions. However according to everyone, Yukio and my therapist included, I kicked the habit about a year ago, I was cutting in secret again. Here I am in the abandon boys dorm bathroom reveling in the sensation of seeing the demon blood seep from my skin. I got this blade in secret after about a year and a half after my therapy sessions first began. Its nearly 3 years old now but I can trust it to get the job done, its also small enough to fit in my wallet, my favorite choice of hiding spots. I was meant to be getting ready for a mission, hence why Yukio let me get ready on my own, I realize he's probably catching on that I'm doing something. I pull on a black t-shirt and make sure the blood is clotted, thanks to the demon healing it clots a lot faster than a normal persons. I walk out and meet my brother downstairs.
"I'll just get our lunches from the fridge" I call out over my shoulder to Yukio, I get a "unhn" from my younger brother as a response. I collected said lunch from the fridge and Yukio used the portal key to meet my cram school classmates and mephisto at our classroom. I get my emotions in check, putting my usual happy grin on as I step though the magical doorway.
'Hey Guys, Who's keen for the mission?" I said in my usual happy tone.
"You'd probably kill us with your flame" konekomaru said under his breath. He never really cared about me self-harming and still wants me dead for the whole blue night thing, which I had nothing to do with. My asshole father Satan did that, not me, yet he somehow felt I was responsible. Bon nudged Konekomaru in response to his statement. I pretended I didn't hear it, though its really hard with my demon hearing and all.
Mephisto spoke up, " now that we're all here, I'll explain the mission"
"You'll be facing mid-class demons that have the potential to get into your heads and project your deepest darkest thoughts into a projection in order to scare you into falling into its control, whatever you do, keep a level head and your fears locked up, don't allow them to see into your head…" Mephisto looked at me briefly and continued "no matter what." He concluded.
Yukio spoke up "Here's a list of spells that will combat these demons specifically" At this point I stop listening and get lost in my own head. What if the demons know I've been cutting, worse what if they project my thoughts for everyone to see, that won't be good, I'll be caught out. I thought to myself.
'Rin….Rin' Yukio yelled, pulling me out of my head. " Go and get ready with the others and please at least try to memorize the spells I taught you"
"Yes Teach" I responded as excitedly as I could. I proceeded to walk over to bon, who's really been the only one there for me during this whole ordeal. He checks up on me everyday and of course I lie but it's the thought that counts. Right?
I noticed Yukio talking with Mephisto in hushed tones, they look over to me occasionally and using my demon hearing I listen in whilst packing my things.
"Are you sure this is a good idea Mephisto, what if something happens, you know he isn't mentally strong like the others"
"The Vatican wants to test him, I have no choice, besides this'll be fun" he chuckles.
Great I thought to myself, no one trusts me anymore.
Turning back to speak to the group Mephisto says "Ready or not here we go, Eins, Zwei, Drie!" and in a puff of smoke ,we're transported to the mission location. Mephisto disappears, leaving Yukio and my classmates alone in a dark looking room. This can't be good, I thought to myself.