Like a Rock Star!
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Okay, before you begin reading, I have to let you know this…the two MAIN characters in this fic are Miri and Reny, and they HAVE appeared in another fic of mine called "Back and Proud" for Castle in the Sky. I love these crazy, clueless girls so much that I couldn't resist putting them in another fic! So, now, they're also in Spirited Away!
Chapter One- Debut, debut!
"Are we there yet?" Miri whined.
"No." Miki sighed.
"How about now!" Reny whined.
"Not yet." Rune sighed like Miki had earlier.
Miri and Reny were best friends for eternity and they began a rock band called "Fruit Loops". Surprisingly, they managed the get a record company to listen to them and now they are going to make their first debut! Miri had neck-length blonde hair with a pink and white cap on. She had a teal polo on with a pink skirt and white tennis shoes on. Miri played the drums in the group…and it was perfect for her because she was obsessed with it…but she got carried away because of her craziness. Reny had long red hair tied in low pigtails with a red plaid cap on her head. She wore a black T-shirt with blue jeans and black tennis shoes with. She also had "Gloomy Bear" shoelaces, just so you know, but you probably don't really care…oh, yeah, and Miri had "Totoro" shoelaces. Reny played the electric guitar and was the band's singer, although she really had no singing talent…she barely managed to have the title "Good Enough". Miki was Miri's older sister, the same age, 13, but was saner than Miri herself. She had long black hair and a purple headband. She wore a purple tank top and tan shorts with black tennis shoes…and just plain white shoelaces. Miki was the group's bass guitar and really didn't care about the band, but she decided to support her little sister and friend. Rune was Reny's older sister, age 17, and she was driving the car everyone was in. She had short, wavy hair, unlike Reny's who had straight, long hair. Rune wore an olive green T-shirt with a gold necklace. She also had tan Capri pants on with white tennis shoes with carrots on them…don't ask why she had carrot shoelaces, she just did. Rune was the group's keyboard player, since she used to take piano lessons. The two older, saner girls were sick and tired of listening to their sibling's voices saying over and over again "Are we there yet?" and "How about now!" for the past two hours and forty-five minutes.
"MIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki…Sister, Sister, Sister, Sister, Sister, Sister, Sister, Sister, Sister, Sis, Sis, Sis, Sis, Sis, Sis, Sis, Sis, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Older Sibling, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child, Eldest Child…Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan, Mi-chan…Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Miki, Mi—…" Miri kept repeating words over and over and over again, until Miki had enough. She snapped her head in the back seats of the car from her passenger seat and glared at her younger sister.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Hi." Miri said. She then giggled along with Reny and they gave each other a random high-five.
"You're so devious, Miri-chan!" Reny squealed.
"Like a lobster!"
"Would you guys please shut up…you're really pushing my buttons…" Rune mumbled loudly.
"Why?" Reny asked.
"Because, if you don't, I won't focus on the road…"
"Why?"
"Because you guys are annoying me…"
"Why?"
"Because you're bored and I can't focus on the road because of you annoying me…"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE IF I DON'T FOCUS ON THE ROAD, WE'LL CRASH!" Rune said as she turned around and faced Reny, who smiled stupidly.
"Oh…I get it…but why?"
"MY LORD, PLEASE, SHUT UP!"
"Um…Rune…" Miki said.
"What?"
"Who's driving?" Miki eerily asked her friend. Rune froze and looked ahead…seeing a statue coming closer in view of the car. Immediately, everyone screamed and Rune tried to find the brakes, but she pushed the gas pedal by accident.
"DON'T YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE TO ANYTHING IN A CAR?" Miri asked.
"YOU CAN'T EVEN DRIVE!" Rune screamed. The statue was coming closer in view as the group of teenage girls was all starting to panic.
"Find the brakes, Rune!" Miki squealed.
"Um…they're not working…" Rune said softly but loud enough to hear.
"WHY WOULD THE BRAKES NOT BE WORKING?"
"I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEY CAN'T STOP! THIS THING'S SUDDENLY SPEEDING UP!" The girls all screamed as the statue was right there in front of the car until Reny threw a Frisbee out of the front window, broke the glass, and stopped the car from crashing into the statue. Although it was almost impossible, the car was stopped all by a flying piece of blue plastic. Everyone stopped screaming and just stared at the Frisbee and the statue. Bits of broken glass fell from the top of the front window.
"THIS IS PROBABLY EXPENSIVE TO REPAIR!" Rune finally said. Miki fainted as Miri and Reny began laughing like crazy. After a minute, everyone got out of the car and stared behind the statue…a tunnel.
"What's in there?" Rune asked, carrying Miki who had still fainted.
"A giraffe!" Reny exclaimed.
"Or Santa Clause! This could be the North Pole!" Miri said excitedly.
"Idiots…" Rune sighed as Miki finally recovered from the faint.
"We should turn around and go to the recording station, if we start driving now, we would be two minutes late, but that's okay, they won't decapitate us or anything like that…come on, Miri, Reny, let's go back in the car. Watch out for broken glass and—…" Miki was about to finish the sentence, but turned around and saw that Miri and Reny disappeared.
"Where…where did they go?" Rune exclaimed. They both then slowly turned towards the dark tunnel.
"IDIOTS!" They both shouted as they ran into the tunnel…
-
"I spy something…black!" Miri said.
"Hmm…the darkness!"
"You're right! Holy flying crap, that's the seventh one right in a row! And they were all darkness! Way to go!"
"Thanks! I'm the queen of I Spy!"
"Hey…do you hear something?"
"Oh, God, Miri…did you break wind like last night at that restaurant?"
"No, it sounds like polar bears!"
"I don't hear anything…oh! Now I do hear it! It sounds like a choo-choo!"
"The train to funky town!" Miri exclaimed. The girls ran out of the darkness and into a room with more light and it looked a lot like a church. They ran out of the room and into the sunlight and saw buildings up ahead.
"THE NORTH POLE!" They both shouted excitedly. They ran up stone stairs, Miri falling over half of them but recovering two seconds later as Reny leapt over them. They also jumped over a creek…even though they both fell in. They got out of the water and started to…smell something yummy.
"Mrs. Clause must be making gingerbread cookies!" Reny exclaimed.
"Or fried squirrel!" Miri jumped up and ran up the grassy hill and where the buildings were. Reny caught up with her and they ran around and saw the many buildings.
"Hey, this place has flowers all over it." Reny said.
"That's probably where the hippie elves live, but they're probably in a van playing their guitars away!" Miri exclaimed. Reny then noticed that she had her guitar case on her back, giving her an idea. She got out her guitar from the case and began playing it without the amp.
"1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more…" Reny began singing "1234" by Feist. Miri caught on and grabbed her drumsticks from her back pockets and tapped them on metal, the metal covering the windows, telling customers that the store was closed.
"Sleepless long nights that is what my youth was for…" Miri joined the terrible singing. They both nodded and began singing in unison.
"Old teenage hopes are alive at your door, left you with nothing, but they want some more! Ohh-oh-oh, you're changing your heart, Ohh-oh-oh, you know who you are!" The girls kept playing and singing through the streets and followed the yummy smell until they found it.
"This smells even better than my Grandma's toothpaste!" Miri said sniffing in a pork cutlet-like dish. She grabbed a spoon and dug in, but spit it out in disgust. "But it tastes like holy flying crap!" Miri whined. Reny grabbed a bread-like object and took a bit of it, but spit it out, too.
"It tastes like burp!" Reny complained.
"There you are you little punks!" Miki's voice appeared. The girl's turned around and saw the two older siblings pouting and glaring.
"Now, listen here, you better march over to that car or I'll—…" Rune began saying, but stopped herself when she saw the sun setting already. Miki raised an eyebrow and Miri and Reny shrugged as they threw the disgusting food at Miki and Rune as the two ran off.
"H-hey!" The older girls said in unison.
"PUNISH THEM!" An old lady's voice appeared. The girls glanced at each other then saw spirits surrounding them.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
--
"Well, I'm not paralyzed, but, I seem to be struck by you, I want to make you move, because, you're standing still!" The two whacky girls suddenly began singing "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven as they skipped through the spirit-filled streets now that the sun was down and the lanterns were lit all around them. They skipped on a bunch of stairs while they continued singing and then saw an enormous bathhouse awaiting them.
"Let's take a bathy-wath!" Reny said.
"How come?"
"I don't know, so we can laugh at giant fat guys bathing!" Reny said. Miri seemed slightly disgusted at first, but thought about it, and then she finally nodded and smiled.
"Yeah, maybe we'll find Santa here, too!" Miri exclaimed.
"YEAH!" The two girls ran onto a bridge and past tons of spirits.
"Are they humans?"
"Humans, where?"
"Humans! How did they get here?"
The girls continued running on the bridge until they reached the welcoming people.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome—AH! HUMANS!"
"That's us!" Miri said stupidly.
"Get out of here! Yubaba will have to hear about this!"
"He's talking about Mrs. Clause!" Reny said.
"Tell Santa that we've been good all year! I didn't eat my big sister's blouse like four years ago!" Miri said.
"I didn't…um...I did lick my sister's comb and put pieces of rice in it to look like lice, but that was nothing, let us in to see the Clause peoples!" Reny said.
"Clause? What are you humans saying? Leave now!" The frog-like man said.
"Froggy, can you eat this fly that's been following me since we sang Feist?" Miri said pointing at a fly surrounding her head.
"FROGGY? FROGGY? THAT'S THE LAST STRAW! SEIZE THEM!" The man said with fury as random creatures came up and grabbed the two girls.
"Maybe that comb thingy I said did make Santa angry…poop…" Reny sighed.
"Don't worry, next year, you'll get that Gloomy Bear toy!"
"You're too optimistic, Miri…"
"What does that even mean?" Miri asked idiotically. The two girls carried on with conversation, oblivious to buff spirits carrying them over to the steps and dumping them right there at the end.
"And stay out, humans!" One buff frog-like man said as the other three turned around along with him. Miri and Reny stood up, brushing off dust.
"So, that's what a one night stand is?"
"Yes, Miri, what did you think it was?"
"When a stunt man would stand on a twig then fall off into a slice of pizza then a little boy, particularly age seven, would dump a garbage can lid and a empty plastic jar of peanut butter on him, and everyone would laugh and point in exact unison as the stuntman would cry exactly nineteen tears!" Miri said quickly. Reny blinked and sighed.
"Well, I wanna take a bath…but Santa doesn't want us to…so, how do we get inside?"
"I know! All right, here's the plan…us,ush,ush,ush,ush,ush…"
"What the crap?"
"Well, they say that in the movies, don't they?"
"Um…well, they pretend that's whispering so they won't give away the plan until the idea is actually performed…" Reny said. Miri blinked.
"Dang…well…okay, let's just do it the cool way then…here's the plan…"
-
"Welcome, welcome back, it's a pleasure to see you…huh?" The welcoming man saw Miri dressed in a baggy suit with dizzy-eye glasses and fishnet tights with pineapple slippers.
"Er, hello…I'm here to sell…um…" Miri glanced over at a random sign. One sign had something to do with crystal balls. "Crystal…" Miri then looked at another sign…for prostitutes. "…prostitutes."
"Um…?"
"They're on sale…nice and…shiny…what you can expect from one!" Miri said. Reny then jumped up on the welcoming guy and got out a wooden spoon, pointing at the welcoming man's throat.
"LET US IN! LET US IN NOW!" Reny screamed. The man thought that the wooden spoon was a dangerous weapon, so he was panicking like crazy. He nervously nodded as the girls walked in, Miri taking off her disguise.
"Well, that was easy!" Miri said in the "Easy Button" accent. Reny sighed.
"Why crystal prostitutes?"
"I don't know…they were on that random billboard over there." Miri pointed at the billboard.
"That says puffer fish…"Reny said. There was a silence and the girls just stared at each other.
"Oh, well, at least we're inside!"
"Yeah, good point." Reny exclaimed.
"Where are they?"
"They went inside! Inside!"
"Ah, unicorn turds! They have suspected us!" Reny said as she pulled Miri to a corner that led to a window.
"What about our bath? I wanna see fat guys and their butts!"
"Not now! We'll go a secret shortcut!" Reny opened the window with a bit of force and jumped on the ledge. "Let's a go-GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She and Miri shouted as they fell onto a bunch of stairs. They recovered from the slight fall and ran down the wooden stairs.
"Tag!" Miri poked Reny.
"Stop it!"
"Tag!"
"Stop!"
"Tag!"
"Not now, Miri!" Reny and Miri then ran into a wall and slowly moved over to the darkness as a frog-like man opened a window and blew out smoke from his cigarette.
"I better stop smoking during situations where humans are around." He said hoarsely. Miri and Reny looked at each other and continued down the stairs where they saw steam coming from a room.
"Santa's workshop!" They both exclaimed as they ran inside.
To be continued!