I'm A Criminalist
The evening was quiet at CSI. Nick Stokes was waiting for his next assignment. He was glad it was slow because he had a lot on his mind. In the break room, he attempted to read one of Sara's leftover forensic journals. His mind was elsewhere though. Any minute now, Nick's life could change forever. He wondered how his life had become so out of control. This was not the type of situation a guy like Nick finds himself in.
Horrible questions kept running through Nick's mind. "How on earth could he be so careless? What is everyone going to think? Is this the kind of person Las Vegas has turned him into?" That's what his folks are going to ask him. They raised Nick to be a respectful citizen and human being. Dignity and honor were so important to his father, how else does one become a Supreme Court Justice? Even hundreds of miles away Nick felt like he was still living in his father's shadow. They will be so disappointed in Nick. They never wanted him in Vegas in the first place. His dad called it a cesspool of humanity. Nick didn't listen. He felt he couldn't please his father no matter what he did. Warrick walking in disturbed Nick's thoughts.
"Hey, man, what's up?" Warrick greeted Nick.
"Not much, finished up my robbery case, just waiting on human nature now." Nick tried to appear casual. But in his own mind he thought Warrick could see right through him. If Warrick did, he wasn't saying anything. He just grabbed his coffee and walked towards the door.
"Well, I gotta get back to my evidence. Later."
Nick just nodded at his friend. Now his thoughts were on his co-workers. They were really close, almost like family. How will they react when they find out what a jerk he's been? Catherine might be cool about it. Sara and Grissom would just write him off as a loser. But Warrick will probably hate him. Nick was trying to shake those shameful thoughts when he heard what he had being anxiously awaiting all night
Beep, beep, beep. To anyone else his pager's signal would have barely been audible, but the noise jolted Nick from his deep thoughts. He saw the words, "Front Desk" on the pager's screen. Nick knew when he saw the page what was waiting for him. There was pit in Nick's stomach as he rose from the table and headed towards the door.
As he walked up to the lobby, Nick recognized the young woman. She had long, red hair and wore little make-up. She was dressed in baggy clothes, not the kind of fashion Nick was used to in this town. Even so, she had an attractive, girl-next-door look going for her. She paced around the lobby nervously.
As Nick approached the woman, he realized he had no idea of what he would say. "God, she must hate me," he muttered to himself. Still, Nick knew what kind of man he was, and he knew what needed to be done. He paused for a moment to steel himself and walked into the waiting area. He cleared his throat and the woman turned around. He heart stopped at the sight of the small bundle in her arms. So it was true. For a moment he was speechless, all he could do was stare.
"Katie...hi...um...I wasn't sure you would come," was all Nick could muster. He was too busy trying to keep his lunch down.
Seeing Nick again brought a sting to Katie's soul. She could feel her anger and resentment rising inside her. "I haven't seen Nick Stokes in months and that was all he could say? That was his greeting? God, maybe he wasn't as great as I thought he was." Katie was thinking of the first night she met him. He was so kind and warm, different from the other men in this town. He was unlike all the men Katie had ever known. Or so she had thought. "I guess there's a little rat in every man." Katie told herself the last time she spoke to Nick.
"Well, I wasn't sure if I would. This isn't exactly what I had in mind."
The bitterness in Katie's voice felt like a slap across Nick's face. He tensed at the situation. After the Kristi Hopkins ordeal he worked so hard to gain back the respect of his co-workers. Nick could not risk a public scene with Katie. Nick looked around to see if anyone was watching them. Sure enough, the young, blond receptionist, Lily, kept glancing up as she pretended to busy herself with paperwork. Fortunately she had a crush on Nick. He knew she wouldn't say anything to jeopardize their flirtatious banter. But to be sure, Nick shot Lily a look that told her to mind her own business.
"Let's talk in here...privately." Nick motioned towards a small conference room.
"Fine," Katie replied crossly. She was barely in control of her emotions the way it was. Katie certainly didn't need public humiliation.
Nick and Katie walked into the small, plain room. There was a simple table with four chairs. A whiteboard hung on one wall. Nick pulled out a chair for Katie. "True southern gentleman, through and through." Katie thought to herself. As Nick sat down kitty-corner from her, he couldn't take his eyes off the bundle in her arms. It was so small.
Nick fidgeted with a pencil someone had left on the table. "I was really glad to hear from you. So, uh, how have you been?"
"Gee, I dunno...pregnant and alone. How about you? Still enjoying your carefree lifestyle?" Katie couldn't contain her animosity. Even Katie herself seemed surprised at her answer. She has never stood up for herself with a man before. Perhaps it was because as mad as she was, she still felt safe with Nick.
Nick's defenses flared. He had never turned his back on a responsibility in his life. This is not what he wanted at all. He needed Katie to understand that.
"Look Katie, I didn't abandon you. You told me you were pregnant, and I told you that I would support whatever decision you made. Then you just shut me out of your life. You wouldn't return my phone calls or see me. What was I supposed to do?"
"Besides accuse me of being a slut?" hissed Katie, as tears welled up in her eyes.
Nick's head jerked back at the force of her words. He was shocked and disgusted.
"I NEVER called you a sl..."
Nick couldn't even bring himself to say that word. He was taught that was a word you never said to a lady. The raised voices caused the baby to stir and whimper. Nick tried to calm himself down as to not disturb the little one. "Come on Stokes, take the high road here," he thought to himself.
"I never called you that," he proclaimed in a forced hush.
"You didn't believe the baby was yours. Did you think I was sleeping around? That I wouldn't know who was the father of my own baby?" Katie's soft, pink lips turned to a pout and her sky blue eyes were overflowing with tears. Nick's heart started to ache. He had forgotten how beautiful she was when she was upset, which was a lot when they were together.
Nick struggled to remain composed. "We weren't married, so I asked for a paternity test, after the baby was born. It's practically standard procedure. Look Katie, I work around DNA all the time. I have seen families ripped apart by it. I just wanted to make sure that..."
Nick searched for words carefully, now it was Katie he was trying not to upset. He hated making her cry. As angry as he was, he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her.
"I'm a criminalist," Nick said softly. "I think like a criminalist. I'm sorry if what I said was cold but I just wanted to be sure, but I still would have been there for you...during the pregnancy." Nick leaned over and stroked Katie's arm.
This made a sensation run up Katie's arm and her demeanor softened. She looked deep into Nick's dark brown eyes and saw warmth and sincerity. She had certainly never seen that in Roger's eyes. Roger loved her, she knew that, but he wasn't half the man Nick was.
Katie sat silently for a moment before she said, "Well, I guess...I mean, maybe you weren't really trying to be a jerk. I was just so upset and scared."
Katie paused, trying to control her emotions. She looked at her sleeping daughter and then at Nick. She felt a wave of shame wash over her for the way she treated him. She knew there was only one way to make it up to him.
"Do you still want to do the test?" she offered. Nick brightened at this. He was afraid asking for the test would set Katie off again, and he really wanted to know if this child was his.
"Yeah, I would, we can run it right here in the lab," he answered. "Katie, I want to be a good father to this little girl. I want to love her completely. But I can't do that until I know that she is truly mine and no one can take her away from me."
Katie started to fidget a little. She knew she had to tell Nick about her situation.
"Nick, I've been living with a man, an ex-boyfriend for a few months now. We've talked about getting married, but it's mostly just talk. He's a decent guy...but he doesn't know I am here. I don't want him to know...I...I just don't think he would like it." Katie's eyes were fixed on her sleeping infant. She couldn't look Nick in the eye and lie to him.
"Hey, if I am this baby's father, it won't matter what he likes. I take care of my responsibilities."
Nick eyes left Katie and fell on the little girl wrapped in the blanket. It occurred to him that he hadn't really seen her yet. She was like an unwrapped gift, just waiting for him.
"Can I see her please?" Nick requested.
Without saying a word, Katie unwrapped the blanket. Brianna Nicole was a precious two-month-old baby. She had dark brown hair and beautiful eyelashes. She was dressed in a little pink sleeper with dancing bunnies on it. Nick gasped when he saw her.
"Oh man, she is so beautiful," he whispered. Katie offered the sleeping baby to Nick. He awkwardly took the infant in his arms. He was careful to support her head. She felt so warm next to him. He had held plenty of nieces and nephews, but nothing ever felt like this. The movement caused Brianna's eyes to flutter open, but she didn't cry. Instead she just studied the new face peering down at her. Nick smiled at the bright-eyed baby.
"Hi, Brianna, you are a doll...yes you are." He looked at Katie. "And Brianna's one of my favorite names. Brianna Nicole, I like that."
Brianna just yawned and squeaked a little. Nick kissed the top of Brianna's head. Katie was touched by Nick's show of emotion. Nick knew immediately that the DNA would come back a match. Brianna looked just like his baby pictures. Still, science is science. After he held the baby for a few minutes he reluctantly handed her back to Katie. Then he removed a swab case from his shirt pocket and put on gloves. He very gently opened the infant's mouth and took a swab from her cheek. He put the swab in the case, but did not label it. He didn't want anyone to see it.
"How long will it take?" asked Katie.
Nick shrugged and said, "I don't know...depends on how busy the lab is. I'll call you with the results."
"On my cell, call me on my cell phone only," Katie said quickly. She didn't want Roger to pick up the phone and hear another man's voice. He could be a very jealous man.
Nick's eyes narrowed. He knew Katie didn't have the best track record with men. She had self-esteem issues. That was the main reason Nick stopped seeing her. She moved very quickly in her relationships. She was so afraid of being alone. Still, Nick couldn't help but feel protective of her. He never really stopped caring about Katie.
"Katie...are you okay? This guy..."
Katie interrupted, "Roger, his name is Roger."
"Fine, Roger...you seem afraid of him." The suspicion in Nick's voice was obvious.
"No..." Katie struggled to explain. "He just wouldn't understand why I want you to see Brianna. He would think he was losing me. Look Nick, he took me in when I had nowhere else to go."
This stung Nick a little. Even though it wasn't entirely his fault that Katie wouldn't talk to him during her pregnancy, he suddenly felt very guilty for not being there. Even though he didn't feel right about it, he backed off. The last thing he needed was for Katie to be pissed at him.
"No, okay, you're right, I'm sorry." Nick said quietly.
Katie was half-smiling at Nick. "There's that criminalist mind of yours again, Nick Stokes."
And Nick's criminalist mind was telling him something wasn't right. He had a bad feeling in his stomach again.
The evening was quiet at CSI. Nick Stokes was waiting for his next assignment. He was glad it was slow because he had a lot on his mind. In the break room, he attempted to read one of Sara's leftover forensic journals. His mind was elsewhere though. Any minute now, Nick's life could change forever. He wondered how his life had become so out of control. This was not the type of situation a guy like Nick finds himself in.
Horrible questions kept running through Nick's mind. "How on earth could he be so careless? What is everyone going to think? Is this the kind of person Las Vegas has turned him into?" That's what his folks are going to ask him. They raised Nick to be a respectful citizen and human being. Dignity and honor were so important to his father, how else does one become a Supreme Court Justice? Even hundreds of miles away Nick felt like he was still living in his father's shadow. They will be so disappointed in Nick. They never wanted him in Vegas in the first place. His dad called it a cesspool of humanity. Nick didn't listen. He felt he couldn't please his father no matter what he did. Warrick walking in disturbed Nick's thoughts.
"Hey, man, what's up?" Warrick greeted Nick.
"Not much, finished up my robbery case, just waiting on human nature now." Nick tried to appear casual. But in his own mind he thought Warrick could see right through him. If Warrick did, he wasn't saying anything. He just grabbed his coffee and walked towards the door.
"Well, I gotta get back to my evidence. Later."
Nick just nodded at his friend. Now his thoughts were on his co-workers. They were really close, almost like family. How will they react when they find out what a jerk he's been? Catherine might be cool about it. Sara and Grissom would just write him off as a loser. But Warrick will probably hate him. Nick was trying to shake those shameful thoughts when he heard what he had being anxiously awaiting all night
Beep, beep, beep. To anyone else his pager's signal would have barely been audible, but the noise jolted Nick from his deep thoughts. He saw the words, "Front Desk" on the pager's screen. Nick knew when he saw the page what was waiting for him. There was pit in Nick's stomach as he rose from the table and headed towards the door.
As he walked up to the lobby, Nick recognized the young woman. She had long, red hair and wore little make-up. She was dressed in baggy clothes, not the kind of fashion Nick was used to in this town. Even so, she had an attractive, girl-next-door look going for her. She paced around the lobby nervously.
As Nick approached the woman, he realized he had no idea of what he would say. "God, she must hate me," he muttered to himself. Still, Nick knew what kind of man he was, and he knew what needed to be done. He paused for a moment to steel himself and walked into the waiting area. He cleared his throat and the woman turned around. He heart stopped at the sight of the small bundle in her arms. So it was true. For a moment he was speechless, all he could do was stare.
"Katie...hi...um...I wasn't sure you would come," was all Nick could muster. He was too busy trying to keep his lunch down.
Seeing Nick again brought a sting to Katie's soul. She could feel her anger and resentment rising inside her. "I haven't seen Nick Stokes in months and that was all he could say? That was his greeting? God, maybe he wasn't as great as I thought he was." Katie was thinking of the first night she met him. He was so kind and warm, different from the other men in this town. He was unlike all the men Katie had ever known. Or so she had thought. "I guess there's a little rat in every man." Katie told herself the last time she spoke to Nick.
"Well, I wasn't sure if I would. This isn't exactly what I had in mind."
The bitterness in Katie's voice felt like a slap across Nick's face. He tensed at the situation. After the Kristi Hopkins ordeal he worked so hard to gain back the respect of his co-workers. Nick could not risk a public scene with Katie. Nick looked around to see if anyone was watching them. Sure enough, the young, blond receptionist, Lily, kept glancing up as she pretended to busy herself with paperwork. Fortunately she had a crush on Nick. He knew she wouldn't say anything to jeopardize their flirtatious banter. But to be sure, Nick shot Lily a look that told her to mind her own business.
"Let's talk in here...privately." Nick motioned towards a small conference room.
"Fine," Katie replied crossly. She was barely in control of her emotions the way it was. Katie certainly didn't need public humiliation.
Nick and Katie walked into the small, plain room. There was a simple table with four chairs. A whiteboard hung on one wall. Nick pulled out a chair for Katie. "True southern gentleman, through and through." Katie thought to herself. As Nick sat down kitty-corner from her, he couldn't take his eyes off the bundle in her arms. It was so small.
Nick fidgeted with a pencil someone had left on the table. "I was really glad to hear from you. So, uh, how have you been?"
"Gee, I dunno...pregnant and alone. How about you? Still enjoying your carefree lifestyle?" Katie couldn't contain her animosity. Even Katie herself seemed surprised at her answer. She has never stood up for herself with a man before. Perhaps it was because as mad as she was, she still felt safe with Nick.
Nick's defenses flared. He had never turned his back on a responsibility in his life. This is not what he wanted at all. He needed Katie to understand that.
"Look Katie, I didn't abandon you. You told me you were pregnant, and I told you that I would support whatever decision you made. Then you just shut me out of your life. You wouldn't return my phone calls or see me. What was I supposed to do?"
"Besides accuse me of being a slut?" hissed Katie, as tears welled up in her eyes.
Nick's head jerked back at the force of her words. He was shocked and disgusted.
"I NEVER called you a sl..."
Nick couldn't even bring himself to say that word. He was taught that was a word you never said to a lady. The raised voices caused the baby to stir and whimper. Nick tried to calm himself down as to not disturb the little one. "Come on Stokes, take the high road here," he thought to himself.
"I never called you that," he proclaimed in a forced hush.
"You didn't believe the baby was yours. Did you think I was sleeping around? That I wouldn't know who was the father of my own baby?" Katie's soft, pink lips turned to a pout and her sky blue eyes were overflowing with tears. Nick's heart started to ache. He had forgotten how beautiful she was when she was upset, which was a lot when they were together.
Nick struggled to remain composed. "We weren't married, so I asked for a paternity test, after the baby was born. It's practically standard procedure. Look Katie, I work around DNA all the time. I have seen families ripped apart by it. I just wanted to make sure that..."
Nick searched for words carefully, now it was Katie he was trying not to upset. He hated making her cry. As angry as he was, he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her.
"I'm a criminalist," Nick said softly. "I think like a criminalist. I'm sorry if what I said was cold but I just wanted to be sure, but I still would have been there for you...during the pregnancy." Nick leaned over and stroked Katie's arm.
This made a sensation run up Katie's arm and her demeanor softened. She looked deep into Nick's dark brown eyes and saw warmth and sincerity. She had certainly never seen that in Roger's eyes. Roger loved her, she knew that, but he wasn't half the man Nick was.
Katie sat silently for a moment before she said, "Well, I guess...I mean, maybe you weren't really trying to be a jerk. I was just so upset and scared."
Katie paused, trying to control her emotions. She looked at her sleeping daughter and then at Nick. She felt a wave of shame wash over her for the way she treated him. She knew there was only one way to make it up to him.
"Do you still want to do the test?" she offered. Nick brightened at this. He was afraid asking for the test would set Katie off again, and he really wanted to know if this child was his.
"Yeah, I would, we can run it right here in the lab," he answered. "Katie, I want to be a good father to this little girl. I want to love her completely. But I can't do that until I know that she is truly mine and no one can take her away from me."
Katie started to fidget a little. She knew she had to tell Nick about her situation.
"Nick, I've been living with a man, an ex-boyfriend for a few months now. We've talked about getting married, but it's mostly just talk. He's a decent guy...but he doesn't know I am here. I don't want him to know...I...I just don't think he would like it." Katie's eyes were fixed on her sleeping infant. She couldn't look Nick in the eye and lie to him.
"Hey, if I am this baby's father, it won't matter what he likes. I take care of my responsibilities."
Nick eyes left Katie and fell on the little girl wrapped in the blanket. It occurred to him that he hadn't really seen her yet. She was like an unwrapped gift, just waiting for him.
"Can I see her please?" Nick requested.
Without saying a word, Katie unwrapped the blanket. Brianna Nicole was a precious two-month-old baby. She had dark brown hair and beautiful eyelashes. She was dressed in a little pink sleeper with dancing bunnies on it. Nick gasped when he saw her.
"Oh man, she is so beautiful," he whispered. Katie offered the sleeping baby to Nick. He awkwardly took the infant in his arms. He was careful to support her head. She felt so warm next to him. He had held plenty of nieces and nephews, but nothing ever felt like this. The movement caused Brianna's eyes to flutter open, but she didn't cry. Instead she just studied the new face peering down at her. Nick smiled at the bright-eyed baby.
"Hi, Brianna, you are a doll...yes you are." He looked at Katie. "And Brianna's one of my favorite names. Brianna Nicole, I like that."
Brianna just yawned and squeaked a little. Nick kissed the top of Brianna's head. Katie was touched by Nick's show of emotion. Nick knew immediately that the DNA would come back a match. Brianna looked just like his baby pictures. Still, science is science. After he held the baby for a few minutes he reluctantly handed her back to Katie. Then he removed a swab case from his shirt pocket and put on gloves. He very gently opened the infant's mouth and took a swab from her cheek. He put the swab in the case, but did not label it. He didn't want anyone to see it.
"How long will it take?" asked Katie.
Nick shrugged and said, "I don't know...depends on how busy the lab is. I'll call you with the results."
"On my cell, call me on my cell phone only," Katie said quickly. She didn't want Roger to pick up the phone and hear another man's voice. He could be a very jealous man.
Nick's eyes narrowed. He knew Katie didn't have the best track record with men. She had self-esteem issues. That was the main reason Nick stopped seeing her. She moved very quickly in her relationships. She was so afraid of being alone. Still, Nick couldn't help but feel protective of her. He never really stopped caring about Katie.
"Katie...are you okay? This guy..."
Katie interrupted, "Roger, his name is Roger."
"Fine, Roger...you seem afraid of him." The suspicion in Nick's voice was obvious.
"No..." Katie struggled to explain. "He just wouldn't understand why I want you to see Brianna. He would think he was losing me. Look Nick, he took me in when I had nowhere else to go."
This stung Nick a little. Even though it wasn't entirely his fault that Katie wouldn't talk to him during her pregnancy, he suddenly felt very guilty for not being there. Even though he didn't feel right about it, he backed off. The last thing he needed was for Katie to be pissed at him.
"No, okay, you're right, I'm sorry." Nick said quietly.
Katie was half-smiling at Nick. "There's that criminalist mind of yours again, Nick Stokes."
And Nick's criminalist mind was telling him something wasn't right. He had a bad feeling in his stomach again.