Temperance Brennan shivered and pulled her cardigan closer around her. Glancing around absently, she noticed that a fresh cup of coffee had been left on the table in front of her. Steam was spiralling up above the cup, highlighting the chill in the air.
Gathering her thoughts together, Brennan looked around. The silence was deafening. The sheer emptiness of it echoed round her head as she realised this was the first time she'd been alone since the funeral. She debated getting up, but in the end she lay her head down against the end of the couch and allowed her memories to overtake her again. Brennan tried to force some happy memories to the front but she seemed stuck in an endless loop of painful moments. Arguments. Insults. She couldn't remember telling him she loved him. Had she ever said it? She couldn't remember.
It could have been five minutes or five hours later when Brennan heard the door quietly open and close, but she didn't get up. Her eyes focused on a trail of rain running down the window. It looked just like a tear sliding down a cheek. She hadn't cried at all, not even in that moment in the hospital when she'd seen him die, literally felt the moment his life slipped away. Not when she had stood at the graveside, watching the wooden box descend into the ground. And not at all during the week she had spent lying on her sofa staring into space, trying fill the empty space inside her with feelings but only feeling numb.
She felt a blanket being draped over her shoulders and a hand caressing her hair gently. Summoning some energy, Brennan turned and looked into sympathetic brown eyes.
"You didn't drink your coffee."
"I'm not thirsty."
"You gotta eat. How about some mac and cheese?"
"No thank you, I'm not hungry."
He knelt down in front of the couch. "Have you slept?"
She shook her head slowly. "I don't think so."
"Ok, I'm going to feed you and then put you to bed."
Booth reached for her and Brennan was surprised by the jolt of electricity she felt at his touch. It was the first flash of emotion she had felt in over a week. She was surprised enough to allow him to lift her off the couch and guide her into the kitchen. Before she knew what was happening, a steaming plate of macaroni and cheese was in front of her.
Booth watched her closely as she picked at her food. He didn't know who she thought she was kidding if she thought he was taken in even for a moment, but he let her have it. Having seen at least two mouthfuls actually be swallowed he was happy that she'd eaten more that yesterday, but he couldn't let this go on much longer. Booth had stayed by Brennan's side from the moment she got the phone call that Max was in the hospital after a heart attack. He had watched her say goodbye to the man who caused more turmoil than anyone else he knew, and had held her hand through the funeral. Then he'd taken her home and cared for her while she grieved, but she was starting to scare him. She'd barely spoken to him in over a week, hadn't been to the lab, had hardly eaten, hardly slept. He'd forced her to go through the motions, but he could tell she was only doing it as the fastest way to get him to stop nagging and allow her to be alone again.
Picking up their plates he dropped them in the sink, turned to Bones and tugged at her hand to get her to stand up.
"Come on Bones, time for bed. You want me to draw you a bath?"
She shook her head tiredly. She didn't make any sort of movement, just looked at him blankly, so Booth dropped his hand to the small of her back and gently propelled her forward. He couldn't stop his fingers from whispering across the skin exposed by her low-slung yoga pants, just for a moment, then his hand settled chastely on her t-shirt.
Brennan could feel the line his fingers had traced like a line of fire across her back. His touch had caused something to lurch inside her, and she felt almost as if she wanted to cry. She couldn't understand it. Her father's death hadn't elicited any sort of feeling, but Booth's touch almost undid her.
Before she knew it, she was standing in front of her sink, Booth proffering her toothbrush and toothpaste. She took it without complaining, which caused Booth to frown. Usually she'd have kicked him halfway to next week for 'treating her like an infant'. He resolved to talk to Sweets tomorrow. He hated to admit it but Brennan needed help. He just wasn't getting through to her and he was terrified that if something didn't break through soon, her walls would be in place higher and harder than ever. And maybe he wouldn't be able to break them down again.
Booth watched Brennan brush her teeth, and then steered her towards her bedroom. She climbed into bed, and allowed Booth to tuck her in and smooth down the covers. She looked so vulnerable and childlike that he couldn't resist stooping down to brush a kiss on the side of her head before turning to leave.
"Booth?" Her voice was small and unsure.
He didn't answer, just turned back towards her and raised his eyebrows. She hadn't spoken voluntarily or reached out to him in over a week.
"Will you stay? Please?" One glimpse of the pleading in her eyes and he was lost. He slipped in on the other side of the bed, facing her. To his surprise, Brennan shifted closer, until they were only inches apart.
For a while Booth just watched as Brennan lay, eyes closed, her breathing slow and regular. She looked so much more peaceful without the blank, almost haunted look she had worn since Max's death. Just when Booth thought she might have drifted off, she opened again.
"Am I a bad daughter?"
Booth was stunned by the look in her eyes. He wasn't sure how to categorise it, there was a swirling mix of pain, confusion and implicit trust. He knew that he had to pick his next words very carefully, that she'd remember them forever.
"No Bones, you're not. You are an amazing daughter. Your father abandoned you. He was a criminal; a killer and a con man. No one would have blamed you if you'd never spoken to him again, but instead you opened your heart to him. We talked, you know, when he was in the hospital, and he was so grateful that you gave him another chance. He thought he'd never have that, he knew he didn't deserve it, but he got it anyway. Because you loved him. You're amazing Bones." During his speech, Booth's hand had crept up to cradle the side of her face lovingly. He kept it there while she searched his eyes, searching, checking if what he said was true. Booth knew he couldn't keep his heart out of his eyes at moments like this, and he only hoped she wasn't scared by what she saw.
He wasn't sure how he'd expected Bones to react, but what he definitely didn't expect was for her to close the distance between them and touch her lips to his. Booth was so stunned that he didn't react at first, but it only took a moment for something to kick into gear. Fleetingly he thought that it might be his heart, because it damn sure wasn't his brain that had him kissing her back, rather than backing the hell off and not taking advantage of her when she was grieving.
Brennan didn't stop, but neither did she make any move to deepen the kiss. She stayed perfectly still, sliding her lips across his, testing herself and her reactions. She could feel the beginning of a tidal wave of emotion building inside her, threatening to overwhelm her. Brennan fought against it, kissing Booth with increasing desperation, trying to stem the tide.
Although he could no longer deny that he found her attractive, Booth could sense Brennan's need for comfort. Despite his reservations, his near-panic over her emotional state meant that he was willing to go along it. It didn't help that blood was rapidly deserting his brain for a destination somewhat further south, making it difficult to think.
The passion flared and electricity arced between them as they explored each other's bodies. Booth worshipped her with his mouth, trailing gentle reverent kisses down her jawline, her neck, her breasts. Sliding his hand down to her centre he stroked, gently encouraging her higher, further. Combined with his attention to her breasts and his worshipful kisses it wasn't long before she felt the familiar tension building in her core. Brennan allowed herself to be carried along, capturing Booth's mouth in a searing kiss as she came apart in his arms.
Booth gently stroked her down, kissing her tenderly. He was startled by a sudden sob that burst from her. Brennan buried her face in his shoulders while the sobs wracked her body.
"Bones?" Booth held her closely. "Bones, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to take advantage of you. Here, look, lie down. I'll leave you alone, I'm sorry." He moved to get up off the bed but Brennan tightened her grip.
"No no NO!" She kissed him, more desperately time. "Stay, please. You've got to stay, I need…". The tears continued to flow down her face as she gripped him and guided him towards her entrance. "Please Booth, I need…you."
Booth was lying over her by now, poised to enter. He searched her face intently, looking for some sort of answer. Whatever he was searching for he seemed to find it, because he captured her mouth in a searing kiss and slowly slid inside her. A low groan was ripped from his throat. Despite everything he couldn't believe how perfect it felt, being inside her.
"Bones, Bones Bones Bones." Booth was nearly undone by the tears flowing down her cheeks. He kissed the tear tracks away, moving almost imperceptibly above her. Every time a new tear fell he gently licked it away, never ceasing his gentle strokes.
"I loved my father." She looked at him pleadingly.
"I know." In, out. Kiss.
"I miss him." Another sob escaped her.
"I know Bones." Booth kept his strokes slow and even, moved beyond words at the intimacy of the moment.
"I'm so scared, Booth." She began moving slowly, matching his strokes with slow thrusts of her hips.
"Sshh, Bones. There's nothing for you to be scared of." Booth claimed one of her breasts with his mouth, gently swirling his tongue around her nipple. He was rewarded with moans of pleasure.
"Oh, Booth." She threaded her fingers in his hair, silently asking him to continue his attentions. Booth spent a blissful few minutes feasting on her breasts and slowly but surely increasing his strokes. Her breath came in pants and breathy moans, but the tears didn't stop. Her next words were whispered so quietly that at first he thought he'd misheard her.
"I'm scared of being alone." Booth froze. Propping himself on his elbows he took her face in his hands.
"Listen to me very carefully Bones." He looked at her intently, making sure she was paying attention. Her clear blue eyes were swimming in tears but she was listening. "Never, ever, as long as I live, will you be alone. I'm here for you, always. I love you." Booth's breath caught in his throat. He hadn't meant to let that slip out, Bones already had far more than she was able to deal with, he didn't want to send her running to the other side of the world.
She gazed at him, assessing. "I love you too Booth. I've known that for some time now." It was Booth's turn to feel the choking tears gathering.
"Bones, I love you so much. I would do anything to heal your heart."
She smiled tenderly. "You do Booth, just by being you."
He couldn't hold himself back any more. His hips began to move of their own volition, and as he whispered words of love they climbed the crest of the wave together. When he slipped a hand between them and touched her most sensitive spot she cried out and went crashing over the edge, taking him with her in her ecstasy.
As their breathing returned to normal, Booth gathered her into his arms. Brennan turned to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Can I tell you about my father, Booth?" She curled her arms further around him, pressing her body as closely to him as possible.
"Sure Bones, anything you want. We've got all the time in the world."
They lay in bed revelling in their new found intimacy. Brennan talked about her father, her family, her work. She cried and he held her, she laughed and he laughed with her. Booth told her about his family and revealed some of the pain he had kept locked up for 30 years. They made love again. As the sun rose over the horizon they fell into an exhausted slumber, both their hearts were healed by the love they shared.