Things always have a way of changing just when they are getting good. Like riding a bike- or- or skateboarding. You get all good at one thing so you get comfortable and then BAM there is a rock or a bump you didn't see before and you've wiped out all across the pavement. Face on the ground with that burning feeling that you've scraped skin and you're bleeding. Yeah, that feeling sucks. I had my fair share of wipeouts on a board… but this felt worse. Even though there were no visible cuts or bruises I felt it inside. Brandon's the first guy I could look up to, talk to, and trust. Finding out he's moving in with his dad like that, without even talking to me first, that's like a wipeout I never saw coming.
I had just been in his room, hoping to talk to him about not leaving, but he brushed it off easily and changed subjects. I didn't want to look like a wuss or anything so I moved on with him, but I really don't get how he can just want to move like that and not think how it'll mess with me.
"Sweetie, why don't you go tell Brandon to come down for supper? It's almost ready and I want both of your help setting the table and putting out the food," mom said, stepping in front of my video game. I died with a painful grunt. At least I heard it. Mom was standing in the way so I really couldn't tell what was going on.
"Mom come on! I was just about to-"
"Jesus, go get your brother," mom cut me off. It was her stern voice, so I knew I better listen before she got too angry. Being mad at me is nothing new anyway, but she was already mad for me selling my pills at school so I knew not to push it more. I didn't sell my pills of course, but I had to cover for my sister, I just had to.
Brandon was unzipping a suitcase on his bed as I entered the door area.
"So I'm gonna move the bed to that wall; get a like couch in here or something. Make this place like a serious bachelor pad," I joked as I walked in. He'd been looking pretty down recently and while I wanted to talk to him about it I didn't want to make things worse. Brandon and I had an awesome brother to brother thing going, I could read him like that.
He laughed and paused what he was doing. "Mhm, settle down. I mean this is still my room."
"What am I gonna do without you here man?" I said before I could stop myself. I tend to ramble when I don't know what to say. It happens. So of course I couldn't stop there. "I mean it's just gonna be me and a bunch of girls."
"And Jude," Brandon reminded me.
"Yeah… And Jude," I replied. There was something off about that little dude, and I still felt that him and Callie wouldn't be here for too long anyway.
"Ah, you'll be fine," Brandon reassured me, patting me on the shoulder. "Just stay out of trouble."
I gave him a look. It's not like I got in trouble on purpose. I don't ever plan to say the wrong things or do the wrong things. It happens. Things happen a lot with me. Always has.
"Yes, you. I know things have a way of coming around and you being behind it. Don't fall behind in schoolwork and stop flirting with every cute girl you see. School is more important than the girls alright?"
I nodded and looked past him. I wasn't flirting with all the girls… there was only one girl, but that wasn't going to happen. I didn't feel like saying that though. Brandon had changed the subject on me and we wouldn't go back to talking about him leaving, that's just how things work with him.
The conversation was still ringing in my head long after supper and long after we had all turned in for the night. Jude was asleep, whimpering a little but out nonetheless. I remember how it was, not knowing how long I'd be in one place or who was sleeping near me or even what the morning was going to be like. I wasn't going to comfort him or anything; I was just going to let him figure it out on his own. He'd figure it out and it'd be okay.
Would I figure things out though? How would things go around here without Brandon. He was almost like the dad figure of the house. He was the oldest guy, so he took that role. He knew what to say a lot and was there when I needed him. But soon he wouldn't be here. I couldn't knock on his door late at night to ask how I could talk to a cute girl. And I couldn't point out to him things he needed to see. We both talked to each other, so why did he want to change that?
And why didn't he talk to me about it? Did he not even think I'd care? He doesn't seem like he cares, and that just doesn't make sense.
It was two in the morning. I really needed to sleep. Although not like it really mattered or anything, I'd be in ISS all day, I'd probably end up nodding off in there if not for a little while anyway. It was still way past the time I should have been asleep anyway. Maybe getting a glass of water would help me out, calm me down or something.
When I entered the kitchen I could hear noises coming from the living room. The lights were either not on or dim and there was definitely noise coming from there. It sounded like laughter and cheering. Quietly I crossed over to see what it was.
Brandon was sitting in front of the television watching what looked like… what was home videos. He looked maybe six or seven. Our moms were in the video too. He was trying to play soccer, but not doing too well and kept coming up to the camera to talk to our moms and whoever was holding the camera. A man's voice told him to keep up the good work. It had to be his dad. I didn't really know his dad but it would have made sense for it to be him.
The video changed to an older Brandon, this time looking around ten, putting his pointer finger up to his lips and tiptoeing down a hallway- the hallway outside our mom's door. Whoever was holding the camera was smaller than him and giggled uncontrollably. He said to the camera "Mariana you have to be quiet or this won't work." Mariana and I were there by then. I smiled. A second later a ten year old me dashed into view trying to hold a tray with food on it. I knew exactly what this video was now. Little me tripped over the rug and the tray with all of the food toppled everywhere, making the biggest noise. Moms' door opened and both ran out to see if I was okay.
I tried to hold back a laugh. Back then I was terrified that I was going to be kicked out and moved into another home. Now, however, it was funny. The look on my face was too funny not to laugh.
Brandon jumped and turned to look at me. I had forgotten he didn't know I was standing there.
"Oh, uh, Jesus, hey," he said.
"Sorry, I was just getting some water… I couldn't sleep," I muttered feeling like I interrupted something secret.
"Nah, you're okay. I couldn't sleep either. I was just looking back through some old things to see if it would make me tired or anything," Brandon replied with a smile. It was a forced smile though. "Everything okay?"
I shrugged and looked away. I didn't want to make him more upset if he was upset and he had already told me things would be fine. So why bring it up again?
"What's wrong man?" he asked and stood up.
"Why didn't you talk to me first?" I accused before thinking about it.
"Wh-what?" he asked.
"Before making this decision to move out and not come back, man. It's like you didn't think it would like effect me or anything," I continued. There was no backing out now.
"Woah man, what do you mean? I haven't made any decision yet," Brandon tried to say.
"No but it's pretty clear the better option here. Why would you want to stay? Two new kids, making things even crazier around here. Living with your dad must sound like an awesome plan, and you get to choose; you have a choice," I said in a more bitter voice than I meant to. I hadn't realized it until now that I was envious that he had an option like that.
"The option is far from clear man. I love our moms. I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to leave you guys either. But I don't want to hurt my dad. Somewhere someone is going to get hurt. I don't know what to do," he admitted and hung his head. "But you're right, I should have talked to you first and I'm sorry. What do you think about all this?"
I shrugged. "You gotta do what's best for you though. You need your own space, I know. You gotta think about you."
"And you have to tell me what you think," he prodded.
"I just don't get why you didn't come talk to me first. I'm okay if you're okay, I just don't like finding out after you've already thought about a lot of things. You gotta let me like know things," I said, trying to find the right words. Words were hard sometimes.
"Man, I know. I should have come to you. My dad just threw it at me out of nowhere and I don't know, he makes it hard to say no. After so long of not really talking to me much, this is pretty cool," Brandon replied.
I wish I could have said I know to that. I wish I could have given him words to make him feel better. But really I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know who my dad was, let along know what it feels like to have him want me. Brandon was lucky. I wasn't going to tell him to go, because I didn't want him to leave me here with all of the girls… and Jude, but if I were him I would go.
This was my first one-shot fanfic based off of a tv show. So I don't know how good it is. Let me know what you think. Tell me if it's terrible. Tell me if it's good. Tell me what you do like or don't like. It would really be appreciated :)