A/N: A little angst before today's episode. =) Sorry this is small and review, please.
Spoilers: Season three, episode 4.
Rating: T
Pairing: P/O
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
That Olivia Dunham was a lie.
Deep inside, Peter always knew it. He just couldn't admit to himself that he had left the woman he loves behind, in another universe, unknown to him and even less to her.
When he woke up in the middle of the night, that night, he heard something. He hasn't heard that sound in a long time, but he would recognize it from the few times he heard it, and would do everything so that he wouldn't hear it, ever again.
Olivia was crying. He walked around her apartment until he found where the sound was coming: the bathroom. He slowly opened the door and the noise grew, filling his ears with a song of sorrow and pain, which would make any man crawl, begging for mercy even to those who he loves. And Peter saw what no man could tolerate: He saw the woman he loved cry and knew it was because of him, no, because of what both had done.
She was in a fetal position, her arms hugging her legs, which were folded. Her head rested on her knees, wet because of tears falling every second faster off her red and swollen eyes.
She didn't look at him; maybe she didn't notice he was there, but it was still Olivia. She did notice, but she did not want to look at him.
He sat against the wall and ran a hand through his hair. Things were starting to make sense, maybe thirteen could be ten plus three and not seven plus six.
"You… Aren't…" It wasn't much, but it was all he managed to say between fear, shame, self-hatred and some tiredness. But she still understood what he meant.
And all his hope disappeared when she nodded.
He felt his heart break, and then shatter in even smaller pieces, like if something or someone bigger than him was causing that – causing everything. He looked up and saw him – the cause of every problem, the person to who he 'owed' his life – Walter. But it wasn't this world's Walter, he was different, he used a suit and had a face of who was slightly amused of seeing Peter in such a pain. He looked up and Peter saw the most disturbing reflex of his life: Olivia. His Olivia. But she wasn't like usually; she had a red hair, a fringe and the spark in her eyes was missing. She was hugging herself and looking hopeless, in a world where she didn't belong – because she belongs with him and he knew it well.
Then, something brought him back to reality: Olivia, not his Olivia, not this world's Olivia – he didn't know if after what they had done, Olivia would ever forgive him, but he could only hope and love her with all his heart – was still crying and sobbing.
He knew it wouldn't help but it didn't mattered – nothing mattered – and he started to cry.