Closer to It Every Day

Rachel Berry knew she was taking a chance in stopping by Shelby's place unexpectedly, but she was too heady with excitement to consider telling her this news over the phone. "Besides," she thought, as she hurriedly bounced down the hallway towards Shelby's apartment, "there is no chance for dramatic flair over the phone, and Shelby is someone who can appreciate that." She hoped that Shelby wouldn't be too put out by her sudden visit.

It seemed she wouldn't be, since it was someone else entirely who opened the door.

"Oh, hello," she said to the pretty, red-haired young woman who answered the door. "Is Shelby home?"

The woman stared at her a moment, blinking a few times before answering. "No, but she actually should be back pretty soon." She hesitated a moment before smiling softly, "You must be Rachel."

Rachel blinked. "I…well, yes, I am. I guess she told you about me."

The woman smiled more broadly and said, "Yeah, she mentioned you were studying here, and you kind of look exactly like her. Come on in, she really ought to be back soon. You can say hello to Beth. I'm Angela, by the way. Beth's babysitter."

"It's very nice to meet you." Rachel followed the woman into Shelby's apartment and immediately caught sight of Beth playing on the living room floor with what looked like a hundred toy cars splayed around her. The little girl, whom Rachel realized was nearly three, was wearing jeans and a Beatles tee shirt, her blonde curly hair in complete disarray. She looked up as Rachel walked in, one eyebrow cocked. She was beautiful, if rather disheveled.

"Beth, this is Mommy's friend, Rachel," Angela said. "Rachel, can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"Just some water, thanks." As Angela headed to the kitchen, Rachel sat down on the couch and smiled at Beth. "Hi, Beth. You probably don't remember me. The last time I saw you, you were a baby."

"I'm a big girl," Beth responded, her hazel eyes grave. Then, abruptly, "Do you sing?"

"I do!" Rachel responded brightly. "Would you like me to sing something for you?"

Beth shook her head. "No," she said simply, and resumed playing with her toy cars.

Angela snorted with laughter as she brought in a glass of water and sat next to Rachel on the couch. "You're actually catching her at kind of a mellow time. She's usually a bundle of energy and talks non-stop, but she's coming off a bad cold."

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, Beth. Are you feeling better now?"

Beth seemed to contemplate this, her mouth twisted to one side, before she responded with a dramatic sigh. "Yes."

"Beth loves music. Should I put some music on, Bee?"

"Yeah, music!" Beth clapped her hands. As Angela got up to turn on the stereo, Beth turned to Rachel, "Raydel, you play cars with me," she ordered.

"Um. I'm not really sure I know how to play cars."

Beth stared at her for a moment as though trying to figure out if she was serious. She put a car in Rachel's hand and said, "Vroom vroom."

Rachel pushed the car along the couch awkwardly, "Ok, vroom vroooooom. Is that right?"

Beth smirked at her a moment before they both started giggling. Just then a voice that sounded incredibly familiar to Rachel, and not in the way she would have expected, came crooning through the speakers. "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone," the voice sang softly. "Only darkness every day…" Rachel stopped playing with the car as she listened to the voice, which was almost certainly not Bill Withers, or any other cover she had ever heard. "This music…"

"It's nice, isn't it? It's a playlist called 'Songs for Beth.' She loves it."

Beth was watching her. "Das Nona."

Rachel nodded. "Yes. That's Noah." Rachel stood up and went to the stereo the iPod was hooked up to. Angela stood up too and rushed to her.

"Wait, do you know him?"

Rachel felt like she was in a trance listening to the song. "Yes, he's a friend of mine."

"Oh, wow. So you," She lowered her voice. "You know who he is. To Beth, I mean."

"Yeah." Rachel reached over to the iPod and clicked back so she could look through the playlist. She smiled as she looked through what had to be 30 or more tracks of songs with rather varied styles. There was "Beth," of course, and a number of other songs Puck and others had performed in glee club over the years, but also a wide mix of rock, pop, children's classics, Disney songs, and even some showtunes. Rachel wondered whether there was any other playlist that included the same person singing "Nothing Else Matters," "Hakuna Matata," and "Friday." Cyndi Lauper. INXS. Newsies? She noticed "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" and clicked on that to play it. Out of the speakers came an acoustic arrangement of the Whitney Houston hit that Brittany had performed in glee club the previous year. "I was there for all of it."

"Oh, wow," Angela said again.

"Das Nona," Rachel heard from behind her, and turned to see Beth looking up at her calmly. Beth grabbed Rachel's hand and dragged her across the apartment. Angela followed as Rachel was pulled into what had to be Beth's bedroom. Beth pointed to a picture on her dresser. "Nona." And indeed, there was a picture of Puck holding Beth on his lap. She remembered it from last year when Puck had proudly displayed it on his phone to anyone who would look.

"Nona loves Beth."

"That's right," Rachel said, her heart swelling. "Noah loves Beth. I have pictures of Noah too. See?" Rachel pulled out her phone and scrolled to an album of pictures from Lima. She showed Beth a picture from Nationals with Finn and Puck on either side of her, squishing her between them.

Beth squealed and grabbed her phone, scrolling through the pictures excitedly. "Whoa whoa, ok, hold on there, sweetie," Rachel laughed, startled that a not-quite-three-year old even knew how to do that.

Angela chuckled. "Give Rachel her phone back, Bee." She took the phone from Beth and looked at the picture now on the screen, one of Puck and Santana smirking at the camera. "He's seriously cute," she said as she handed Rachel her phone back. "And I'm not usually into Mohawks." Beth was jumping up and down trying to get Rachel to give her the phone back.

"Hello?" They heard a voice call.

"Mommy!" called Beth, as she ran from the room. Rachel and Angela followed her back into the living room where Beth had jumped into Shelby's arms.

"Rachel! Hi! What are you doing here?"

Rachel felt suddenly shy, like she was intruding on someone else's family. "I, um…I had some news I wanted to share with you."

Shelby smiled and nodded at her. "Ok. Angela, why don't you take Beth down to get some ice cream so Rachel and I can talk."

Beth wriggled out of Shelby's arms excitedly.

"It was nice to meet you," Angela said as she grabbed her jacket, and Rachel nodded likewise. "Beth, say goodbye to Rachel."

Beth came over to Rachel and held out her hands, so Rachel lifted her up. "Bye bye, Raydel." She puffed out her cheek.

Shelby filled her in. "She thinks part of saying goodbye is getting a kiss on the cheek."

Rachel kissed the girl's soft cheek and set her down. "Bye, Beth. It was very nice to see you again." She watched as Angela put Beth's jacket on and led her out the door.

"So?" Shelby asked, clapping her hands together excitedly and holding them up to her mouth.

Rachel couldn't help but break out into a huge smile. "I got a callback!"

Shelby shrieked and rushed over to hug her, asking a million questions about the audition, which Rachel dutifully answered as they sat down on the couch. They barely noticed the music playing in the background until Rachel was suddenly distracted by the opening chords of "Dancing Through Life" from Wicked coming through the stereo. Shelby noticed Rachel's distraction and turned towards the music herself before looking back at Rachel.

"I can't believe he even knows this song," Rachel admitted.

Shelby smiled. "I think he ended up taking a lot of stuff in through glee club."

"How long has he been sending her songs? There are a lot of them."

"Well. It started because I thought it would be nice for them to skype with each other so they could actually interact, as opposed to just getting updates and pictures. But there isn't really much you can say to a two-year old, so I suggested maybe he could sing to her, since she always loved that. It became their thing. So then he started sending her songs and videos so she could listen whenever she wants."

"That's…that's really sweet," Rachel said.

"It is," Shelby agreed. She looked at Rachel for a moment, "Rachel, I –"

"It's ok," Rachel cut in. Shelby opened her mouth to speak again, so Rachel continued, "No, really, it's ok. I get it. Sort of. We don't need to…bring all that stuff up again."

Shelby sucked in her upper lip and nodded. "Ok."

"Does Beth know who he is to her?"

Shelby shook her head. "She doesn't really understand who anyone is to her yet. I haven't decided how I'll explain everything to her, but I'm getting a lot of advice and help from counselors and experts and we're going to take it as it comes. Plus I have my own experience to draw from," she smiled affectionately, but sadly. "I worry about doing what's best for her, and so do Puck and Quinn, but for right now I just wanted to do what felt right, and…cutting them off didn't feel right. I was the one who…" She trailed off and shook her head.

Rachel struggled with what to say. "I think everything's going to work out for the best," she said honestly. "Beth is obviously very happy."

Shelby smiled, and grabbed her hand. "Thank you. That means so much to me." She grasped Rachel's arms lightly. "Rachel, I am so, so proud of you. You just…you amaze me. I hope I can raise Beth half as well as your dads raised you. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm just…so grateful you've been able to forgive me. That we can be friends."

Rachel nodded. So much unsaid, but Rachel didn't think it needed to be said anymore. Shelby would never be her parent, and that was ok because Rachel had two amazing parents already. But, yes, they could be friends. "Me too."

The conversation flowed after that, going back to the details of her audition and everything that had been going on at NYADA. When the track changed to Warrant's "Heaven," Rachel couldn't help but start to sing along. "I don't need to be the king of the world…"

Shelby joined her, "As long as I'm the hero of this little girl..." They laughed as they started belting together at the top of their lungs and air drumming.

"HEAVEN ISN'T TOO FAR AWAY…"

Puck's face was buried in his pillow when he felt his phone ringing in his pocket.

"Shit, did I go to sleep in my clothes?" he thought, as he groped around in his pants and found his phone, barely able to see who the incoming call was from as he blurrily accepted the call.

"Hullo?"

"Noah? Are you sleeping? It's 2:00 in the afternoon," a voice chided.

"Rachel? Shit, did I switch phones with Finn?"

"What? No, I was calling for you."

"Oh." Puck rubbed at his eyes and turned over, trying to wake up a bit more. "What's up?"

"If you're still asleep…"

"No, it's fine. I gotta get up now anyway." He actually did get up then, and put the phone down for a second as he jumped off the top bunk and sat down on the couch. "Got a pool cleaning in an hour. Everything ok? Kurt and Santana?" He sniffed at the clothing he was wearing, wondering if he needed to bother to change.

"Everyone's fine, thanks. I, um…I went to see Shelby yesterday. At her place."

Now he was definitely awake. He sat up straighter. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I saw Beth too."

He smiled. "Yeah? She's fucking awesome, right?"

He thought he could hear Rachel rolling her eyes through the phone. "I wouldn't put it quite that way, but yes, she's beautiful and completely adorable."

He smirked. "Course she is. Best kid ever. Total badass. Fucking smart too, but she doesn't get that from me."

"Noah," she said in that lecturing voice of hers.

"What?"

"Anyway, Beth was listening to her favorite music while I was there. All of it sung by you."

"Oh," he swallowed. "Yeah, that. It's no big deal."

"I think it's incredibly sweet. Beth is really lucky to have you in her life."

"You think so? Because, I mean, I worry sometimes that like, she's gonna be confused or…I dunno."

"Speaking from my own experience, I can only say that not knowing can be really hard and confusing too. Maybe there isn't any one right way to do things, but…you all care about what's best for her, and that's what's important."

"I guess," he replied. "I mean. I hope so."

"I wanted to ask…would it be ok if I got the music from Shelby? Hearing it, just…God, it made me miss you and everyone in glee club so much that it hurt. I miss your voices and the songs you would sing. I miss all of us singing together. I took it for granted, you know? But I don't want to step on any toes. I mean, it seems like all the songs you chose were very personal between you and Beth."

Puck blinked in surprise. "No, that…it's cool. I mean, I didn't really think it was anything special, but if you want it, I can send it all to you myself. Or, I mean, I could send you other stuff. I don't know why you would want some of the kiddie stuff."

He heard Rachel scoff. "How could I possibly not want to hear your rendition of "Tomorrow" from Annie?"

He chuckled. "Have you heard Shelby sing that? She's fucking incredible."

"No, but I'll ask her to now. How do choose the songs you send?"

"Aw, you know, just whatever comes to mind that makes me think of her or I think she'll like. Stuff my sister used to make me play or just songs I'm digging right now. And Shelby makes sure they're like appropriate and shit."

"It's so cute that she calls you "Nona."

He laughed. "Yeah, my sister used to call me that too. So how 'bout this? I'll send you songs if you do the same for me. Talk about missing voices and taking shit for granted? I used to get to hear a fucking superstar like every single day."

"Not quite a superstar just yet."

Now it was Puck's turn to scoff. "You are and you will be. Finn told me you kicked ass at your audition."

"It went well, yes, and I got a callback, but it doesn't mean I got the part. There's still a long audition process ahead."

"Yeah, yeah, call me with the date for opening night. So we got a deal?"

"Yes, we have a deal. And I think we should ask everyone to contribute too. Start a whole exchange."

"Yeah, that would be really cool."

Rachel was on a roll now. "Maybe we can even record some duets! It's amazing what modern technology can do."

"Yeah, a couple of the songs I sent to Beth were duets."

"Oh, really? Which ones? I didn't get to hear all of them."

"Schue did "Over the Rainbow" like we did in glee. And I asked Artie to do "One love" with me because we sound fucking dope together. It's her favorite."

"Then you definitely have to send me that one." Rachel paused. "You should really come up to New York and visit sometime. Finn tells me you're not actually attending classes, so your schedule should be pretty open. You could see Beth, and I'm sure Santana wouldn't mind sharing the couch with you."

Puck burst out laughing. "Oh, Christ. I think I'd rather take my chances on the floor."

"Well, we'd love to see you."

"Maybe. I mean…I'd have to work it out with Shelby and stuff. I follow her lead, you know?"

"Yeah."

Puck noticed the time. "Shit, ok, I really gotta head to my pool cleaning gig." He paused. "It was real nice talking to you, Rach. Take care of yourself. And Kurt and Santana. Especially Santana."

Rachel laughed. "I will. And the same for you and Finn. I'm really glad you guys are there to look out for each other."

"That's what bros are for."

"Oh! Maybe we should all sing 'That's What Friends Are For!'"

Puck held out his phone and looked at it in horrified disgust.

"As the great Mercedes Jones would say, 'hell to the no.'"