Ellis pulled his knees to his chest, trying to shield out the cold, every hair on end, his jaw quivering as he shivered.
"This fucking thing…" Nick said angrily as he tried to light the small pile of wood he had collected.
"I-It's coz the wood is wet," Ellis said as he wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing his legs in an attempt to create some warmth.
Nick stopped and stood up straight, letting the blocks of flint hang limp in his hand, "I know the fucking wood is wet. It's wet because it has been raining."
Ellis's eyes dropped, "Yah jus' waistin' ya' energy, come sit with me, save ya' strength…"
Nick let out an almost-growl and crouched on his feet, still focusing on the non-existent fire.
Ellis frowned, looking around the tiny shack. Nick had ripped on of the boards from the wall so he could burn the wood, but it wouldn't light, and it had left a hole in the wall through which more sleet was pouring in, along with mounds of frozen air.
The younger man sighed, watching as Nick fiddled with the wood.
"Do ya' think they're ok…?" he asked quietly.
Nick exhaled loudly, his head dropping, "Honestly? No, I think they're dead, Ellis. I think that we were lucky to get out alive, and we should be glad for that."
"I hope they're not dead."
"Just be happy that you're not."
Ellis nodded, he felt so selfish. He could have saved them. It was either go after Coach and Rochelle, or go after Nick. Ellis, caring for Nick as he did, had picked to go after Nick.
"Nick."
"What?"
"I'm sorry…" Ellis said in a whisper.
Nick frowned, "Why? What did you do?"
Ellis could feel his insides clenching, "It was ma' fault… If I hadn't run off ahead then I wouldn't have disturbed 'em, and they wouldn't have swarmed an'…"
Nick turned his head, placing the wood and matches on the floor, "Are you sleepy or something?"
Ellis shook his head, "I'm cold…"
"I'm cold too, but I'm not talking like a complete idiot."
Ellis gave Nick a tiny smile, though it quickly dropped to a frown, "It's true though… If they're dead it's ma' fault."
"Don't be such a dick. If you hadn't run after me you'd be dead too." As Nick spoke he took a few small steps closer to the smaller man, looking down into his large eyes.
Suddenly Ellis looked away, looking at nothing, just not wanting to look at Nick; for once he seemed sincere, Ellis, for once, wished he wasn't. He wished that Nick was just saying it to make him feel better. Because it was, it was his fault, why did Nick not see it, why did he seem so genuine when he said it wasn't Ellis's fault… It was.
Ellis let out a huffed sigh, huddling into himself as far as he could. Nick walked to his side and crouched next to him, staring at the would-be fire, feeling the chill flow through his bones.
"When's it gunna get warmer..?" Ellis said quietly, trying to change the subject that constantly filled his head.
Nick shrugged, "I dunno. What's the date? We can't be that far from spring…"
Ellis's eyes sprang open, "Oh ma' god, Nick!"
"What?"
"I think we've missed Christmas!" Ellis squealed, the despair in his voice obvious.
One of Nick's eyebrows jerked upward, "Yeah, so?"
"Do we 'ave a calendar? How long ago was it?"
Nick looked down at his wrist, "By my watch it's… the 27th of December. Fuck, that means we've still got at least a month of this shit."
"That means that…" Ellis clasped his hand to his mouth, "Oh no… That means the day we got separated was Christmas."
Nick gave a fake smile, "Interesting."
"I spent Christmas day scared for ma' life, hoping that ya' wouldn't die," Ellis added sadly, he stretched out his legs despite the cold, feeling them beginning to cramp.
Nick scoffed, suddenly wishing he had a bottle of strong liquor in his hand, "That sounds like a normal Christmas to me…"
The smaller man shook his head sadly, that wasn't a normal Christmas, no one should spend Christmas like that, for Christ's sake, Rochelle and Coach could have died on Christmas? That wasn't right.
"I used ta' love Christmas," Ellis began, of course this statement would have been enough for Nick, but he knew that, as always, Ellis would elaborate, so he stayed silent and waited for the inevitable long-winded story.
"We had the whole family, comin' in from miles around, sitting at the table, loads too few seats for us, so ma' would have to pull the armchairs in from the livin'room… and everyone would be shouting at each other and arguin' and laughin', and there would be so many conversations goin' on at once that ya' don't know what to say. Then one of ma' uncles would get drunk and do somthin' stupid an' probably end up having to go to the emergency room… and his wife would start crying and screaming at him, and then my grandpop would fall asleep in front of the fire and talk in his sleep and make everyone real uncomfortable, because the only thing we know called Jessabelle is a cow…"
Nick chewed his lip, "That sounds… real fun, Ellis."
Ellis chuckled and nodded, "Sure, I mean, it wasn't perfect but… it was."
They sat together in the cold silence for almost a minute, Ellis almost expected Nick to give his own tail of a usual Christmas, but it didn't come.
Maybe he didn't have a 'usual' Christmas, he knew that Nick was moved around a lot as a kid, never staying in one place for more than a few months. As far as he knew Nick's life as an adult was just as sporadic.
"What d'ya' do at Christmas?" he finally succumbed to asking, playing with the rim of his hat as he did.
Nick shrugged, "Uh, last Christmas I was hauled up in jail after I was caught, uh… pulling some illegal moves."
Ellis frowned sadly, in jail on Christmas? "Did no one come to bail ya' out?"
Nick scoffed, and started laughing, full on laughing, raising his hand to his forehead as his chest quivered with his booming, mocking laugh, "'Bail me out'? Who the hell would do that?"
The smaller man shrugged, "I dunno... a friend, girlfriend?"
Nick laughed again, Ellis tried to stop himself joining in, he had the urge to laugh along, but he felt unnerved by the tone. "Friend? I didn't have friends! I had two people who I pulled tricks with and they'd never have agreed to bail me out."
Ellis swallowed gently, that must have been horrible, not having anyone to turn to when you needed them, and on Christmas. "I would'a bailed ya' out, Nick."
Nick's smile shrunk, becoming more sincere, "Yeah, I know you would have, Overalls, but you're naïve."
"I'm yah' friend," Ellis corrected, looking softly at Nick and giving the man a hopeful smile.
The darker haired man rolled his eyes, still smiling softly, "Shut up…"
"I am, Nick." Ellis said, almost angrily, "I love ya', there's no one else I'd rather spend my nights with."
Nick shook his head, quickly getting to his feet and walking back to the fireplace, "Shut up, Ellis."
Ellis followed him to his feet, standing a pace behind him, "It's true, Nick. Why do ya' think I went after you and not the others?"
"Because you're an idiot," Nick growled as he picked up the flint and began trying to light their fire. He would storm out, but he had enough sense to know that was a bad idea.
Ellis frowned gently, "I mean it, Nick." He stood fast behind the other man, determined not to back down, not this time, this was important, Nick needed to know this. "I risked my life for ya'. And I'd do it again, I swear."
Nick frowned deeply, turning his head to give Ellis a hard stare, "Shut up kid, you don't know what you're talking about!"
"Yea' I do Nick, you are the one who doesn't understand! I damn near broke my arm 'coz I was lookin' out for ya'!"
Nick growled loudly, "Maybe you shouldn't bother, you should'a just let me die."
Ellis took a step closer, "Nick! How can ya' say that! I love you!"
Nick shook his head, reminding himself again that he couldn't leave, he turned himself back to his attempted fire.
He felt Ellis's hand rest on his shoulder, and felt a stab of anger run through him, "Get off me!" he growled loudly, jerking his arm to throw the hand off, but it stayed firm.
"No, Nick," Ellis said, trying to sound confident, "I would do anything for ya'. I need ya' to know that."
Nick didn't reply, didn't try to shrug off Ellis's hand again, he focused all his energy on knocking the flint together.
Ellis stayed silent, leaving time for his words to sink though Nick unimaginably thick scull, he crouched beside the suited man and watched him fumble with the shiny rocks.
"You're an idiot Overalls, you know that."
That meant the words had reached him. Ellis smiled at the other man, "Yeah, I know…"
Nick gave a short huff and looked over, running his eyes over Ellis's lean frame, "…You still cold…?"
Ellis shrugged, "A bit, talkin's taken ma' mind offa it…" he was trying not to let his emotion show in his voice, he knew how Nick hated it, and knew he'd shown enough already.
"If I could get this stuff to light…" Nick said softly, banging the stones together again, small sparks coming from them.
Ellis held out his hands, "Give it here, maybe I'll have better luck." He'd never been able to do it before, but today he felt lucky.
Nick rolled his eyes and handed Ellis the stones, then watched as Ellis shifted around the small pile of wood, finding the driest area, and began thumbing the rocks together.
After a few minutes Nick saw Ellis's eyes light up as the smaller man saw a small ember appear, "Nick! Nick, it's workin'!"
Nick smiled, moving round to where Ellis was crouched and began blowing gently on the ember, making it glow and spread. Ellis laughed loudly as flames started to appear, "Nick! I made fire!"
"Yep," Nick said with a smile as he started to feel the glow of warmth fill him.
Ellis nudged him playfully, "Guess I'm not such a' idiot after all."
Nick shoved him in return, pushing him to the floor, "You are, but you're mine."
The smaller man chuckled as Nick advanced on him, locking their lips in a small nipped kiss, he blushed violently, suddenly feeling himself grow hot as the kiss grew more passionate.
Why hadn't they thought of this before…?