Disclaimer - Once Upon a Timeis not mine.
This is part of a series of one-shots I'm writing based on Christmas songs in multiple fandoms. If you like it, please check out my profile for more Christmas songfics.
I'll have a blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me
Emma stared at Mary Margaret as the brunette placed ornaments on her Christmas tree. Emma had never been one for the holidays; holidays were for families and loved ones. Mary Margaret on the other hand seemed related to Santa Claus with how much she decorated and prepared for Christmas.
"I was thinking about having a Christmas party. We could invite Granny, and Ruby, Henry of course, and some of my other students would probably come. Anyone you'd like to invite?"
For a moment, Emma seriously considered the suggestions. But the first name to come to mind was someone who definitely wouldn't be able to come. As thoughts of Graham began to fill her mind, she did the one thing she swore she was done with; she began to cry.
"Oh Emma, I'm so sorry. We don't have to have a party, not if you're not ready," Mary Margaret said. She sat on the couch next to her, trying to comfort the blonde.
"No, I'm fine. It's been three weeks, you know, and...and... we didn't even know each other that well. I mean, how well can you get to know someone in two months?" Emma said through her tears, gradually calming herself down.
"It's not about the length of time. It's about the connection Emma. You and Graham, there was something between you two, everyone could tell. A connection like that; you two could know each other for two seconds under the right conditions, and you would be forever changed."
"Like you and David?" Emma asked sorrowfully.
"Yeah, like me and David," Mary Margaret said in the same tone. "Just because we can't be together anymore, doesn't mean that I wasn't changed by him. Or, I hope, he was changed by me."
Emma stared at her hands, not knowing what to say. She had tried to be strong, tried to force herself to forget about Graham. But everything in Storybrooke reminded her of him. She had tried leaving, but there was nothing left of her former life. Plus, Henry still needed her.
And when the blue snowflakes start falling
That's when those blue memories start calling
You'll be doing alright with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue Christmas
Emma tried to stop herself, but she found that reliving the memories of Graham was easier than forcing herself to forget about him. It became easier and easier each time, slowly moving to a dull ache rather than an uncontrollable breakdown each time she thought about him.
The memory that return to her now was not of Graham however, but of his funeral. Regina had said a few words, and then they lowered his coffin down. Emma had been torn between sorrow at Graham's death, and fierce anger, believing that Regina was somehow the cause of his death, despite the doctor's examination that ruled it a heart attack. The way Graham had spoken about his heart, and Henry's stories had finally gotten to her. But that day was not the day to get even with Regina.
Instead, Emma focused on the thoughts of Graham. She had never believed in an afterlife, but there was some comfort to her in imagining Graham as an angel, dressed in pure white, and looking down at her from above. This picture also strengthened her resolve to one day make Regina pay for all the pain she had put everyone through.
You'll be doing alright with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas
Merry Christmas!