The black and deformed dragon spat bright purple flames as it fell through air. It's wings desperately trying to propel itself upwards, to escape the fate it knew would become of it. It's ugly head swivelled from side to side, thrashing, trying to create an escape.
It would find none.
This moment was a long awaited one. This moment would define what happened to Ferelden and indeed, perhaps even the whole of Thedas. After all, the Blight would not stop here. It would spread until every corner of Thedas from Ferelden and Orlais to the Free Marches and Antiva, to the Anderfells and perhaps even the Tevinter Imperium. The Blight would not stop until the whole world was set aflame in chaos. And at the head of the hoard, The Archdemon. The Old God Dragon who had been disturbed from its slumber by the Darkspawn. The dragon was now just as much of a victim as the poor souls who fell to the corruption the darkspawn carried with them. It was difficult to pity the Dragon however, when it had just decimated hundreds of peoples homes and who had led his army to murder and defile innocents.
It was a long awaited moment and one that I and my companions had been working towards this past year. The black and deformed dragon spat bright purple flames as it fell, plummeting through the air . It's black and ripped wings desperately trying to propel itself upwards, to escape the fate it knew would become of it. Giant, deformed claws scratched at the surface of the Tower and the whites of its eyes could be seen.
With a resounding THUD!, The Archdemon landed on the top of Fort Drakon. It's wings curled in around itself and its eyes starring at nothing. It's gaze blank. It was silent and lay still.
Defeated, but not yet dead.
No one approached it, no one would step any closer to the beast than was necessary. There was only one way to kill an Archdemon and the only one who could kill it, stood before me. Weapon still clutched in her hands. Her shoulders squared and her chest heaved from the battle we had just emerged victorious from. Her small stature seemed to grow and her silhouette was illuminated in the spreading fires.
My Warden. A women who I know as much as I know myself.
Long, slim legs that carried toned thighs. A firm stomach that had received its fair share of scars on this journey. Her thin and sloping neck leading to a face that had seen danger and had seen the worst that humanity had to offer, but continued to hope in the goodness of people. A trait that had took me much longer to discover and to believe. Her dark hair was tied back with various braids connecting into her ponytail, to help keep her long hair out of her face during battle. Lips that were quick to smile and always ready with a witty remark, but also with words of great wisdom, one someone her age should never have known. Eyes that raged fire when angered, but were otherwise the most penetrating blue I had ever seen, surrounded by the intricate Vallaslin markings of Mythal.
Yes. I know my Warden inside and out. I know her as I know myself. Yet here, she seemed ... cold, separated from me, from this world, it seemed like. My Warden's eyes were vacant and her stare blank. There was something wrong. Something that set my stomach curling and my throat constricting. I could not say what it is, but I know something is wrong with this whole scene.
Worried, I step towards her, to offer comfort or to simply be near to her, I am unsure. I had not taken even two steps towards her before she turned to look at me. I shivered. Her eyes were dull. Lifeless. Lacking their usual light and laughter. Her brows were furrowed and her cheeks were flushed.
"Leliana."
My name is but a coarse whisper in the scorching air. I would not have heard were I not standing as close as I was.
"Evie? What is it?"
Was this not the moment we had all been waiting for? Was the not the moment where my lover and friend would strike down her enemy and like in all the great tales, the hero would return, victorious? A hero? What was wrong?
"...There is a reason that Morrigan left."
What? What did that Witch have to do with anything?
"A reason... you now must know for yourself."
My Warden was still. Unnaturally so. Normally she was a bundle of energy. A ball of life and fire who always liked to be on the move, someone who hated waiting and being patient. A trait that had originated from her Dalish upbringing, where they were constantly on the move and she and her clan mates were always on the hunt. Yet here... it concerned me. Why was she like this?
"Evie...?" My voice trailed, asking the question, without needing to say it.
"There is a reason that only a Grey Warden can slay an Archdemon... The nightmares, the whispers in my head when we are near Darkspawn, they are all linked to this." Her words were slow and her voice deep. She was struggling with what she was going to tell me. My brows furrow in confusion. Around us, the soldiers and allies of the Grey Wardens were attending to the wounded, Wynne among them, however a small band of warriors kept their swords and arrows aimed at the Archdemon, ready to strike again at the slightest movement from the dragon.
"The other night, when Riordan summoned me and Loghain, he revealed the secret... Wardens, when we go through the Joining, we drink blood taken from Darkspawn. It is how we are able to hear and feel them. It also works vice versa. You know this." Evie's eyes were fixated on my face. "What you don't know, what I didn't know, was that..." Her eyes glistened with tears and a small sob escaped her lips.
"Evie?" I move towards her again, reaching for her but the Warden just held up a hand, stopping me in my tracks. A lone tear streaked down her face, leaving a clear streak through the grime that plastered out cheeks. Her cracked lips were trembling, but she continued.
"He told us that when an Archdemon is killed, the soul will seek a new host. Taking new residence in another tainted body, that of a darkspawn. Effectively making it immortal..."
I took a deep breath. Shock rocking my body. Immortal? But... there had been four other Blights before this, and the Archdemons had been killed!
"H..How? If it is immortal, how can it been killed?"
My lover was shattering before me. Her weapon lay limp in her hand and she seemed on the verge of collapse.
"Wardens contain the taint."
No... I need confirmation to my muddled theory.
"You... the Warden who kills it becomes the...? It will..."
Evie did not look at me, instead focusing on the cracked floor. "The Warden is not a full tainted creature... this means that the soul of the Old God is destroyed. However, in doing so... the Warden's body is destroyed. They perish. Committing the Ultimate Sacrifice." Evie's voice trailed off and got quieter and quieter, until it was a struggle to hear her.
My feet were rooted. I can not move. Can not speak. Can not think. My Warden... the woman who I love and who I had given myself to completely and utterly, the woman who had helped me when she had no reason to and who had stuck by my side and I by hers... NO!
The Warden continued, every word ripping through my body body.
"Riordan volunteered. As the most Senior Grey Warden of the three of us, he said he would strike the blow. It was something that we decided. If he failed, it would then fall to me or Loghain to kill the beast."
She took a deep breath...
"Before I came to you later that evening, Morrigan found me. Or rather, I found her. She was waiting for me. She knew what was going to be asked of me. Of the all the Grey Wardens. She knew... this entire time she knew. Flemeth had sent her with us for that very reason."
Somehow, that did not shock me. Morrigan was very clever and from the brief moment when I had had the opportunity to see Flemeth, I was not surprised the old witch would have some knowledge and what was hidden secrets. There were some hints now that I think about it. Morrigan at times seemed to make out she knew more than the others. Oh, it was hidden under all the sarcasm and the witty comebacks, but the clues were there. She was always careful to never cause Evie or any of the others so much grief that she would be asked to leave. Morrigan always seemed to make sure she stayed close. Not too close that it would be noticed but close enough that she could keep an eye on Evie and Alistair. I had thought nothing of it and it seems neither had Evie. What a fool I am. Some bard I am. I knew she couldn't be trusted.
Evie continued, not waiting for any response from me.
"She made me an 'offer'. Before we had left the Kocari Wilds, Flemeth had given her a ritual to use. It would have needed to have been performed that same night. Morrigan didn't tell me much, but she told me that she would need to lay with Loghain. The ritual would ensure that a child would be conceived of their joining. Morrigan was to then accompany us to the battle and once someone lay the killing blow, the soul of the Archdemon would seek the child out. At this stage, the child could survive and no Warden would be need to die. No sacrifice would be needed."
A child? An innocent. A being that would be created for all the wrong reasons and would grow to be manipulated by Morrigan and a child that would grow to be an incredibly powerful being. My stomach turned... and yet... that child would be able to save my Warden now.
Evie's body shook and her hands desperately wrung together. Tears fell from her eyes. No longer could she hold them in. Still, my body would not move. Her answer. What was her answer?
"I couldn't Leli... I couldn't. I... No matter what I wanted, I could never bring an innocent into this. That child wouldn't be a normal child! It would be different and, and... " Evie was pleading with me. Begging for me to understand her and her choice.
"That child... Morrigan couldn't even tell me what it would be. Leli, I've fought so hard and for so long, I can't let that go to waste! I've sacrificed so much and I couldn't let Morrigan become a danger to herself and to others. To you. I trust her, for some reason and despite what others may think, but I will not and cannot trust Flemeth to not seek her daughter out and hunt her. That 'child' would contain a soul of a being that is a thousand years old. It would be different. It could be worse than the Archdemon we have fought so hard against against. I...I couldn't risk that Leliana. I..."
My heart was breaking in my chest. My whole world was crumbling around me. My lover, the woman whom I adore with every fibre of my being, had made her choice. The choice that would see me alone in this world and bereft of her company forever. A choice that would break me and would destroy the happiness and acceptance that I have found over this last year. Why? WHY!?
"Evie...Evangeline, I love you. Please, please don't do this." My voice caught in my throat. My chest heaved.
Please Maker! If you have any compassion, please let the only thing that matters to me live. Please show Mercy. I had never prayed so loudly and desperately as I did in this moment.
Evie's eyes clenched her eyes shut at my words and her arms wrapped themselves around her stomach. It looked like she was trying to hold her form together. Her arms were a barrier between her and the world around her.
My feet suddenly work again and I hobbl towards her, unsteady on my feet. My arms clutch at her dalish armour and I pull her towards me in desperation. I will not let go. I will not let you go. The mantra repeats in my head, again and again. Each time becoming more desperate than the last. My love's arms wrap around my waist and she clings to me just as tightly. Out bodies are connected from head to toe. Yet, it still wasn't close enough. There was still a barrier between us. Her duty as a Grey Warden.
The whisper was quiet, "You know I can't do that."
She was pulling away! No! No, I won't let you damn it!
We look at each others faces and I know I will never forget the look in her eyes. A look of fear. Fear of the ultimate unknown. The anger that we will never get our happy ending and discover the world together. The courage and commitment to do what needs to be done. The commitment to put her emotions and desires aside, for the greater good.
"I love you Leliana. I'm so sorry."
Arms were pulling at me, trying to get me to let go of the most selfless woman in the world. The most beautiful, the most amazing woman. The woman I love and the woman who was breaking my heart.
The arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders and my waist, preventing me from running towards my Warden, but my struggling was becoming weaker and weaker. My desperation showing itself through my tears that streamed down my face and my shouts of "Evangeline! Stop PLEASE!" as my lover looked at the person holding me for a moment before walking towards the dragon that was still laying prone and lifeless.
"I'm sorry, child." The usually calm voice of Wynne was breaking and I heard her sorrow. NO! IT CAN'T END THIS WAY!
Evangeline picked up a sword of a fallen soldier that lay at her feet, her once trembling hands steadied and her back straightened. She walked to the head of the Archdemon and started down at it. No, no no no no. Please! My cries had no effect. The Maker turned his gaze away from his desperate child.
Evangeline looked towards me and her gaze settled. They gazed into my eyes and I saw all the love and tenderness that was humanly possible in her eyes. I saw all the memories of us and all the visions of what we could have had, but will never get the chance to. I see the woman I fell in love with.
Ar lath ma.
I love you.
The words were her last and she plunged the sword straight through the skull of the cursed dragon, with a battle cry.
"NO!" The protest screamed from my lips. Wynne's arms tightened and I struggled with all my strength. My eyes were transfixed on the woman who should never have to do this. Evangeline was clutching the sword and screaming, trying to pull the blade out of the dragons skull.
Light started to envelop the elf and the dragon, expanding outwards, blinding the gaping soldiers.
A moment.
Silence.
Then, a huge blast, a shock wave, causing everyone atop Fort Drakon to be thrown from their feet.
My head rings and Wynne's body beside me starts to stir and move.
People struggled to regain their footing, clutching at their comrades in arms for support. My feet were unsteady and I fell in my clumsiness. My mind knew where my body was going even before I commanded it. I scrambled at rocks and climbed over a corpse. There!
A small body lay curled on the floor. Impossibly small and delicate. No. NO.
A sob made it's way from my throat. I run to her. I fall to my knees, not even wincing at the pain from landing on rubble and concrete. I pulled the body onto her back and a scream tore from me. Evangeline. My Evie, a Warden, a hunter, a friend, the love of my life... was gone.