A/n: I felt like writing, so this came together...I don't like Kairi, but I've kinda always wanted to write a fanfic about her (a good one, don't worry . (well, this is somewhat good...Kinda)) And I'm listening to a song that provokes the writing urge. Enjoy!
Warning: Self-mutilation and ooc-ness
Summary: Kairi never felt pretty. Never felt loved. Never felt like she ever belonged with her friends, she wonders how she was ever a happy little girl she once was. She's crying on the inside and out, wishing someone would save her from the cruel, cruel world, and Sora maybe her knight in shining armor.
Chapter One
Kairi looked up while the rain splattered on her face along with the warm tears that belonged to her. Why? Why did this world have to be so mean to her? What the fuck did she ever do to it? Nothing. Fucking nothing. She was always a good girl, she was nice, always helped people when needed and never cried.
Nope, she never cried. She promised her daddy that she would stay strong. Where did that promise go? She was in the rain now. Crying her sea blue eyes out. She wasn't strong. She was broken. And a little incident that happened years ago had caused everything to go wrong.
Her slut of a mom had cheated on her dad while he was away on a business trip. Kairi knew about what her mom was doing, and she intended to tell her father when he returned. But instead, her mother threatened her. She threatened Kairi with promises of beatings, being put up for adoption and possibly, her murder.
She kept her mouth shut after her mother got rid of her boyfriend before her father came home. Kairi acted normal, and her mother acted like she wasn't all over another guy since her father was gone. They played pretend and it came naturally.
"Kairi?" Her father asked the day after her came back, "Your mommy has been acting strange. Would you mind telling me about what she did?"
"I can't, daddy." she whispered regretfully. "I promised mommy I wouldn't tell," she said, looking down at her purple skirt and kicked the air absently.
Her dad got down on his knee so his eyes were locked with Kairi's, "You can tell me anything, Kairi. Okay?" he reassured her.
Tears filled her eyes and they spilled over as she said, "But mommy said she would hurt me if I told, daddy!" she curled her hands into fists and rested them over her mouth in an attempt to stop the sobbing she had started.
He wrapped his arms around Kairi, picked her up and said, "She would never hurt you, Kairi. She's your mommy and she loves you," he soothed. "What did she do when I was gone?"
"Promise mommy's not gonna hurt me?"
"Promise," her father replied. "Now what did mommy do while I was gone?"
Kairi dried her wet eyes, "She bought over a man and she said 'I love you' to him and she kissed him." she said, twisting her purple and white shirt and unraveling it, making the edge of her shirt wrinkled.
"Are you sure?" He questioned.
Kairi simply nodded.
Her father shook his head in pure disgust. "Come on, Kairi. Let's go talk to mommy, okay?" he asked, brushing the stray strands of hair away from her eyes.
"No!" She squealed, "I promised mommy I wouldn't tell you! What if she hurts me daddy?" she asked, her eyes getting moist with tears once again. Her bottom lip trembled, she curled her hands into small fists and placed them over her mouth so she could stop the oncoming sob.
"She's not gonna hurt you, sweetheart." He assured her. Her father wiped away the tears that lazily rolled down Kairi's cheeks. "She's your mommy and she would never think about hurting you."
Heh, her father had a funny sense of humor.
Kairi nodded, took the words and tried to comfort herself with them. Once her tears dried she nodded to her father to go find her mother. Kairi was still on his hip.
Kairi and her father found her mother in the living room, reading a book and drinking sparkling water. The family was rich only because of her father. Her mother just wanted the money, she didn't love Kairi's father. Psh, that gold digging slut.
She looked up at the two, placed a bookmark to mark her page in the book, stood up, gave Kairi's father a kiss on the cheek and said, "What brings you here?" she smiled.
Her father shifted Kairi so she was on the other hip, he began, "Celine, Kairi tells me that you have invited a man over while I was away. Is this true?"
The smile slipped off her features and a vile and cruel look were the replacement. Celine looked at her young daughter and said, "You bitch!" She pulled her arm back and let it fly through the air at Kairi.
Kairi shrieked and buried her face in her fathers shoulder. He stopped the slap with the back of his forearm and said calmly, "Celine! Enough! It was not Kairi's fault, it's clearly yours. Now, as I am a forgiving man. I'm giving you one more chance to get your act together or we're getting a divorce. Got it?" He rubbed Kairi's back in comfort to the poor girl.
Acting came natural to Celine, she wanted to become an actress when she was in high school, but she got rejected from so many T.V shows and movies that she gave up and married rich men for their money. She brushed her hair out of her face and breathed out, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Kairi! I didn't mean to!" she said to her shaking daughter.
Kairi didn't believe one little bit of her act. She knew her mom would never keep promises.
"Sweetheart, I'm dearly sorry." she said to Kairi, then she looked up at her husband, "William, forgive me. I'm going to clean my act up and I promise that." she smiled.
"One chance," he said as he set Kairi down. "You get one chance. Don't waste it." he said, walking out of the room and leaving Kairi and her mother alone.
Kairi was beginning to leave when her mother painfully grabbed her upperarm. Kairi cried out and her mouth spat out, "You bitch! You almost told on me! Let me teach you this lesson: Don't be a tattle tale, Kairi." She let go of her arm and pushed her away, "Off with you." she sneered.
Kairi rubbed where her mother had grabbed her. Damn the woman. She has a pretty strong grip.
She had one more chance left. Her mother better not waste it.
Too bad she did.
They were the perfect family for three years. No threatening or cussing to Kairi what-so-ever. And frankly, Kairi thought it was the best damn time of her life.
That is, until she was eight years old.
Her father went away for another business trip and he trusted Celine not to cheat on him. He was dead wrong. She invited another man over, a different one than last time, and they had their fun. She got rid of him before William came back.
Her father came back and he noticed the bruises Kairi had on her body. He asked Celine about it and she said Kairi fell and hurt herself while playing around with Sora, Riku, Selphie, Tidus and Wakka. William asked Kairi in private what actually happened. She simply answered with, "Mommy hit me with that man." And she cried.
William called for a divorce. A few weeks later, the three were in court. While her parents were settling their affairs, Kairi stayed at Sora's house for the time being.
"So, why are your mommy and daddy at court?" Sora said, helping Kairi set up a bed for her to sleep in. He pulled the sheets over the small mattress.
"Daddy says that him and mommy need some time alone. He said they love each other so much that they need to have the court pull them away." She said, putting the pillow on the edge. She sat down and sighed.
Sora sat down next to her, "You wanna get some ice cream?" He asked brightly, trying to change the subject.
"Sea salt?" She asked.
"You're favorite!" Sora nodded and smiled. He took Kairi's hand and they ran down the stairs to the kitchen. When they jumped down the last stair and Kairi hit her bruised arm against the railing. She cried out.
"What's wrong?" Sora asked, getting a look at Kairi's arm. He noticed the bruise. "What happened?" he asked, horror and a pinch of worry was mixed in his tone.
Kairi looked down at her bruised arm and let out a small 'oh'. Sora saw her bruise her mom gave her and Kairi remembered the lesson her mom told her about; Don't be a tattle tale. She looked at Sora and let out a lie, "I fell."
••••••••••••••
She sat on one of the cold benches while the judge was whispering amongst her mother and father. Sora and his mom were sitting in the way back and Kairi was sitting next to a nice old lady. She waited patiently for this to be over.
This was to determine whether her father would get custody of her, or her mother.
Her mom went back to the right table and her father to the left, they sat down and waited with Kairi. The silence was deafening. Even Kairi was surprised that Sora wasn't talking. The kid had a blabber mouth on him, guess he can sense when something is wrong.
The judge finally spoke, "We have come to conclusion that Celine Davis will have custody of Kairi McKenna Davis."
Her father cussed and said to his lawyer, "I thought you said I was going to win! Kairi should be in my custody!" he ran a hand through his hair that was peppered with a little white.
His lawyer apologized to William, packed up his stuff in his briefcase, patted William on the shoulder and apologized once more before leaving the courtroom.
The old lady let Kairi go to her mother. As Kairi got to her mother, her father came up behind her. "I'm going to miss you, sweetheart." he said, giving her a kiss and a hug, "Remember, daddy loves you. Okay?"
She felt a trickle of water run down her face and Kairi realized that she was crying. Her father left, along with Sora and his mom. Sora waved a small goodbye to Kairi before he left, she returned the gesture to him. She turned to her mother and waited til she was done smooching up her boyfriend. As soon as they pulled apart, they left the courtroom.
This was the beginning of misery for Kairi. And she hoped that it would be over soon. Too bad it didn't end so soon. It seems that pain loves her too much.
••••••••••••••
~7 Years Later or present day~
Her throat hurt and she whispered to no one in particular, "Daddy loves me..." She swallowed the crying pain in her throat and looked forward. She better get home or else her mom will bitch out. Again.
Kairi made it through the rain with no problem. Her hood was up and she debated on whether or not she should light a cigarette. She voted no. She didn't want her little friends all soggy.
She made it to the small and ugly home. Kairi fished out her keys and opened the door. When she walked in, the smell of beer quickly hit her and she looked for her mom.
"Hey, whore."
Kairi looked to the couch and noticed her mom was sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer. She really let herself go since she got custody of Kairi. Celine got fat and didn't care about her appearance.
"I'm not a whore." Kairi said, closing the door behind her. She wiped off her converse clad feet and headed to her room.
"Are too and you're ugly." her mom argued back.
Kairi stopped, crossed her arms over her chest. "F.Y.I, I haven't slept with anyone and if I were to be a whore, I would've gotten that gene from you anyway, mom." She spat out the last word and turned around to her mother's half drunken boyfriend.
He stared at her and said, "Don't you talk to your mother that way, Kelee."
Kairi rolled her eyes, "My name is KAIRI. And I don't have to listen to drunk ass's like you two." she said, but her mom's boyfriend stopped her.
"What did you say? I told you not to talk to your mom like that!" He slapped her across the face, Kairi caressed her cheek and refrained from letting out so much as a squeak.
She wobbled her way up to her room and closed the door. She began to scratch at her wrists, hoping the scars would open up. Kairi pulled up her sleeve and looked at the cuts and bruises mixed on her forearms. The cuts didn't want to open today huh?
Kairi went over to her vanity and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyeliner was smudged, a red mark was slowly fading to pink and her depressed expression greeted her. She opened the top drawer and pulled out a small box that had her make up, nail polish and other girl stuff out. She searched through frantically, trying to find her friend.
She pulled out a small blade and smiled. "Found ya," she whispered to it. She made her way to the bed and lay down, keeping her posture up against the bed frame.
Kairi took off her sweater and kicked off her shoes. She held her forearm out slightly and ran the blade across her wrist in even strokes. She let out a relieved sigh as the blade kissed her skin over and over again.
Blood trickled dow her arm, but Kairi didn't care. She only wanted the relief right now.
While the blade stroked across her skin, a little voice in the back of her head asked: Why are you doing this?
Kairi simply replied with: The scars make me feel beautiful.
Okay, so I hope that went well. Tell me what you all thought. Did you like it? Please tell me! I wanna turn this into a series and I need feed back! I kinda have low confidence on my writing so...yeah. R&R though!