"Vicki, where's Ryan?" Judd called down the stairs.

"I don't know, his room?" came the reply.

"I checked already. Is he down there with you?"

Vicki sighed heavily and got up from the couch to show Judd that Ryan was probably in the bathroom. She walked to the kitchen to get a little snack (nothing Judd made; even Phoenix didn't eat that stuff). A note was pinned to the refrigerator.

Vicki, Judd, I'm sorry, but I can't stay here. Lionel and I argue too much. Vicki is the only one who really cares about me at all, and even so, she doesn't understand me. Judd is too busy for me. I took some food, and I'm not coming back. Love, Ryan "Cermak" Daley.

"Judd!" Vicki screamed, close to tears.

"What?! Vick, are you hurt?" Vicki heard the sound of Judd's feet pounding down the stairs. He burst into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" He saw the paper and looked from Vicki's hands to the tears staining her cheeks and back to her now shaking hands. "Give me that," he said, voice soft.

He read the note, slapped the note on his knee, and swore. He looked at her, tears jumping to his eyes. His voice took on an accusatory tone as he said, "This is your fault!"

"My fault?! How is it my fault?! I was the only one who ever made time for him!" Vicki shot back. "He ran away because of you! You were too busy for him. He barely ever saw you!"

"He didn't ask me to be around. I had homework –"

"So did I!"

"Yeah, but who was the one who ended up salutatorian?" Judd's voice was tight and he clenched his jaw.

"Well, Mr. High-and-Mighty, I haven't graduated yet."

Judd laughed bitterly. "He probably started planning this stunt after the Secret Santa."

"And you're assuming because of a slight mistake, he decided to run away?" Vicki laughed a bitter, cruel laugh. "And you had nothing to do with it?"

"I never said that."

Vicki stopped to breathe. Judd's forest green eyes flamed with an anger – and anger at himself, she knew, because Ryan had run away because of him. And an anger at her for pointing it.

She closed her eyes and counted to eight. When she opened her eyes and then her mouth to speak, her voice was dangerously quiet. "Well, Junior, I hate to break it to you, but the world doesn't revolve around you."

Judd swallowed and closed his eyes. His words came out slowly and terse. "What did you just call me?"

"You heard me." She crossed her arms. "Junior."

Judd opened his mouth to speak, closed it, opened it again, thought the better of it, and walked away.

Vicki needed to release the full string of anger. "It's your fault that he and us almost died! And it is your fault that Bruce is dead!"

Judd's hand clenched on the doorframe. When he shouted at her, she jumped back. "How the heck is it my fault?"

Vicki screamed back, with tears streaking her cheeks, "Because you had to be so selfish and make him go to Israel with you!"

Vicki felt the sting of being backhanded. She looked at Judd in fear. She wanted to cry, she did, but she was so shocked that she couldn't.

Judd's face was red. "If you're looking for someone to blame for Bruce's death, blame God! I don't control life and death and other people's decisions –" he lifted his hand to hit her again " – I only control –" he paused, looking at his hand. " – my own actions."

Vicki shrunk away from Judd and backed against the wall.

Judd was still staring at his hand. He tore his gaze away from his hand that destroyed a relationship and looked to Vicki. And when he saw her fear, he broke down. She hadn't been hit for three or four years, and now he had broken that streak. He carefully stepped towards her.

"Vick, I'm so sorry." As he said those words, he realized sorry didn't compensate for anything. He had literally just physically abused his best friend. He took another step in Vicki's direction.

Vicki turned her face and braced herself for another blow.

"Vick…" Vicki had never heard Judd's voice so soft.

She looked up, her eyes red, and said, "Don't call me Vick."

Judd held up his hands as if in a surrender. "Vicki. Vicki, trust me, I won't hurt you again."

Vicki shook her head slowly.

Judd let his hands fall to his sides. His chin trembled, he couldn't speak, and he knew Vicki was leaving. Judd pressed his lips together and motioned to the door.

Vicki took off and left him.

A few years later, Vicki had to trust Judd's promise.