This is my first Law & Order: Criminal Intent story. I am pretty pleased with it... and it is done! So you won't have to wait long between chapters, but it is also only 5 chapters long.

This takes place after Untethered.... I made the chapters relatively short so that they are manageable. :-)

Let me know what you think!

DMJ

I DID NOT CREATE THE CHARACTERS USED. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO DICK WOLF, NBC/USA, YADDA YADDA....

Chapter 1: Entrance Examination

Detective Robert Goren walked into the building with his body hurting with anxious nerves. He walked to the receptionist's desk and waited while the young woman finished a phone call.

Once done, she looked up and, with a smile, said, "Detective Goren?"

"Yes."

"Doctor Olivet will be with you in just a moment. Please make yourself comfortable."

Before Bobby even reached a chair, the office door opened and a middle-aged woman stepped out. "Detective Goren, please come inside." Bobby lumbered into the room and stood, as if uncertain what to do. "Please sit." He rested on the couch cushion's edge and waited for the doctor to seat herself in the across chair. He saw his police file on the coffee table, with his academy photo on top. He tried to remember how long it had been since he last looked that health. Quite a while probably.

Olivet was seated, with pen and paper pad ready. "It's nice to meet you, Detective Goren. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Olivet. I understand that this is not voluntary therapy, but I hope I can help you in any way possible. First, would you rather be called Detective? Robert?"

"You can all me Bobby." He could feel his leg shaking, but couldn't seem to stop it, so he sat further back in the couch and crossed his legs.

"Alright, Bobby. I don't want to force you in any way here. So to better get a sense of who you are, I would like you to start this session."

"I... I'm not certain what to say, exactly."

"Well, how about you explain why you think the department wants you to see me."

Bobby sighed. He knew that she already knew all of this. He knew how this worked. And he didn't like it. But he would do his best to be convincing. His job was on the line. "I recently found out about a nephew of mine. He was in some trouble and I wanted to help, but the Captain wouldn't let me. So I went undercover at Tates Correctional Facility. It was dangerous and dumb, but I did it. I proved the corruption that my nephew, Donny, had told me about. I'm glad I did it. I saved lives."

"If that's the case, why then are you here? Why would you be suspended for saving lives?"

"I was suspended because I wasn't authorized to go undercover." He paused. "And because the doctors at Tates said I showed signs of schizophrenia." He was ashamed to admit that... the disease that took his mother from him many years ago. He looked away, as if he was looking out the window, but really his eyes were focused on nothing.

Olivet said, "Do you ever worry that you might be schizophrenic?" She examined Bobby, trying to read his face.

He looked back at her and flatly replied, "Having a schizophrenic mother taught me the warning signs."

"That doesn't answer my question. Do you ever see those signs in yourself?"

"No." Short and sweet.

Olivet shifted in her chair and continued, "Detective Goren, Bobby, I'll be honest with you. You managed to convince a lot of trained people that you were schizophrenic."

Bobby signed deeply. "Growing up with someone with the disease, I learned a lot. My mother could trick her doctors but I could see right through her games. I had to be convincing in order to go as deep into the prison as I needed to."

"So how do I know that you're not playing these tricks on me? How can I be certain that you're not playing the system just like your mother did?"

Bobby tried to sound innocent as he asked, "Why would I do that?"

"Come on, don't jerk me around. I know your reputation, Bobby. I know how passionate you are about your work. I need to know that you're telling me your true thoughts, because if I am uncertain at any point, I won't be able to allow a potentially schizophrenic detective on the streets with a gun. Do you understand?"

Bobby sat silently, just observing the doctor... unnerving her. Both sat in silence for what had to have been at least five minutes. They watched each other. The only movement came from Bobby's shaking, fidgeting leg. He wanted to read her. He wanted to find a way so that he wasn't manipulated.

Finally, Olivet said, "You don't have to talk. You can sit quietly as long as you want. I get paid either way. But sitting there like this won't help your case. And you know it. So I am going to ask you again. "How can I be certain that you won't have a violent psychotic break?"

Bobby crossed his arms again and leaned further back. "Not all schzophrenics are violent."

"And not all psychotic breaks are schizophrenic."

Bobby gave in. "I guess no one can be certain of the future. But I'm not schizophrenic.... or psychotic. Hell, I'm nearly 50 and I've never had any kind of mental episode!"

The doctor remained quiet and jotted something down.

Putting a hand on his mouth, Bobby shook his head and continued, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled."

Olivet watched Bobby carefully. "You said that you have never had an episode... I think there are people who would argue differently."

"What do you mean? Do you think I'm psychotic?"

"I think we need to determine that before I can clear you. I know there is something going on in your head, and I think it is potentially dangerous."

Bobby was shocked. He furrowed his brow and responded, "I would never hurt someone unless in self defense or defending another."

"Potentially dangerous, not necessarily to others, but maybe to yourself. Your recent actions have been self-destructive. It's cause for concern, whether you see it or not."

He couldn't look at her anymore. "I can't believe this. The Chief of D's tell you to say that? Or Ross?"

Olivet wrote. "Are you concerned about that?"

"I'm not paranoid," Bobby sternly replied. He stood and started pacing behind the couch, with his hands in his hair. He was agitated and the doctor needed to calm him.

"Okay, okay," Olivet put her hands up. "Please sit back down." Bobby hesitated a moment but complied. Olivet continued, "I wasn't coached, Bobby. I haven't spoken to anyone about your situation. I merely was given a message that you would be required to see me because of the Tates situation. I haven't spoken to the Chief or to Ross. Do you believe me?"

Bobby bit his lip, looked at her, and nodded once.

The doctor smiled, "Okay."

Looking away, Bobby rubbed the back of his neck and asked, "So what's wrong with me?" He looked back at her.

"Is there something wrong with you?"

Bobby threw his arms in the air and said, "You're the shrink."

"And you know that I can't assess your status simply off what we've discussed today. This is just the entrance exam."

His leg started bouncing again as he smugly asked, "And did I pass?"

Olivet shook her head and said, "No." She saw Bobby roll his eyes and she continued, "This isn't going to be easy, Bobby. But I feel that there is a great deal more that we need to discuss. I can't clear you. We've just begun this process."

Bobby's eyes drifted away and Olivet could see the depression in them. He quietly and flatly repeated, "So what's wrong with me?"

The doctor sighed. "From what I can tell, and this is just preliminary analysis, I believe you are suffering from PTSD, which is something I would say for anyone who went through what you recently did. And I think you are suffering from at least moderate depression. Beyond that, I'm not certain." He didn't respond so Olivet continued, "Bobby," she tilted her head to look at his face. "You are known in the NYPD as something of an intellectual Renaissance man. Between this and your, shall we say, complicated family life, I think it's safe to say you know a great deal about psychological disorders."

He looked back at her. "What are you getting at now, Doctor?"

"I am still not certain if I can trust your answers and reactions. Why should I trust them?"

"I guess... because I love my job and I'll do anything I can to get my badge back."

While writing some more, Olivet said, "Hmm. I think that's exactly why I shouldn't trust your answers. And I think you know that." She looked up, "Isn't that right?"

Bobby didn't respond, but looked confused.

Closing the pad of paper, the doctor said, "Alright. Our time is up today, but we will continue at our next session."