A Love That Will Last

Sometimes, Shiro wondered how different things could have been if different events had taken place in his life. It hadn't happened often while on the Castle of Lions because he had kept himself busy enough to ignore those thoughts. But after returning to life, he had had more time than he would have liked to just think of how his life was.

Sometimes, Allura wondered how different things could have been if her life had happened in a different way. She didn't get many opportunities to dwell on those thoughts, which was probably for the best. She hadn't even considered it that much until they had ended up in that strange universe where apparently she had become Empress and lead an Altean Empire. But recovering after the fight for Earth left her with a lot of time to just think.

What if the Galra (minus Keith of course) hadn't been Shiro's first experience with aliens? What if it had been a more peaceful meeting with Allura or other Alteans? Maybe a lot would be different (and he wouldn't have the PTSD or nightmares), but would it really be better?

What if her father had never forced her to sleep? The obvious answer would be that she would most likely have never met Shiro or any of the others. But would that have been worth it to prevent the horrors they had all experienced? It was hard to know. After all, what if she had failed along with her father? Things would undoubtedly have been worse for them.

What if he hadn't fallen in love with Adam first? Would he have been able to admit his feelings to Allura then? What if they hadn't actually broken up before Kerberos? Would Shiro have even developed feelings of any kind for Allura?

Allura sometimes hated that she hadn't had the time with Shiro that could have turned into more. If they had been together more, would she have noticed that he was not him? The thought had probably haunted more than herself given how the others had reacted. But if she had been the first to notice? Allura could admit to herself that she probably never would have ended up in the situation with Lotor. If only she had told Shiro more about her feelings back then.

Shiro sometimes wished he could be more selfish. He had known from the beginning of course that Lance seemed to have a crush on Allura. It was hard not to know with the way he flirted with her. But at the time, Shiro was still trying to come to terms with what had happened between him and Adam. And now with the memories of how his clone had treated the others? Shiro was kind of amazed any of them still came near him.

After learning from the mice about how Lance still liked her (she thought it had died out), Allura didn't know who to turn to for relationship advice. There had been times she had wanted to talk to him about things with Lotor, but given how Lance didn't seem to like him at all, Allura thought it was best not to do so. She wondered if talking to Keith would be a good idea since he knew Shiro best. She'd talk to Shiro about things (maybe not their relationship but just to judge how he was doing now that he was back) but he seemed to be avoiding everyone.

Shiro wasn't trying to avoid the others but there's a part of him that felt better doing it. They all had family or people that cared about them with them. He didn't need to sit in a bed surrounded by them. After all, they were pretty much all he had left and they had more important people to take care of them now. He had met up with Adam's parents to talk but besides that and the few visits he made to the monument wall, Shiro had sort of spent his time being everywhere but with the others. They had proven that they didn't need him anymore so why stick around? Why try and insert himself into any relationships with any of them when he didn't belong?

In the end, Allura decided to seek out Sam. He knew Shiro pretty well and he would be able to help her. The look on Sam's face when she explained things to him made her realize just how little she actually knew about Shiro. He used to be engaged? Maybe she didn't stand any kind of chance considering it had been to a man. Gender wasn't a big deal to Alteans with their shapeshifting abilities, but Sam had explained that it could be to a lot of humans. Maybe it mattered to Shiro. Sam had looked sad when Allura had asked about it, but then had assured Allura that that wasn't the issue. Allura wasn't sure what to do now, knowing that Shiro's ex-fiancé had died. Especially since Shiro didn't seem to tell anyone, not even Keith, about it.

Shiro finally came to a decision. He would let his feelings for Allura be what they were. Regardless of how things played out in the future, Shiro knew she would be the last person he loved like this. Even if he would never be with her.

Allura wondered if there was even a chance that Shiro would be willing to consider another relationship with the way his previous one ended. To lose a loved one to death was awful. Maybe she needed to let him heal before talking to him. And it would give her a chance to heal more from Lotor's betrayal. Either way, she knew that he was it for her. The last one she would probably be able to love like this. Even if she could never be with him.

They might not have been each other's first, but they were gonna try and be each other's last.