A/N: This story was written for one of my besties theslytherinrose. (she's an incredibly talented writer and all about Lucissa! Go read her stuff!) She and I do a lot of writing together and have worked on this very devastating and dramatic plot and I wanted to see if it could be turned into a fic. The characters: Lenore Brown, Seraphina Malfoy, and Lara Malfoy are from her Lucissa canon and she's let me use them to tell this story. :D Anyway, I'd really appreciate any feedback and encouragement from you guys! Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster, but don't worry it will get better! Thanks and enjoy!
Prologue:
Narcissa had awoken earlier that morning to horrible stomach pains, and from there, everything had grown increasingly worse. She'd decided to make the trip to St. Mungo's to see why she was experiencing such pain—she'd had a strong feeling it had something to do with her pregnancy. She hadn't told Lucius about the baby; she'd been too scared to do so. They weren't married, yet, and he had so much going for him. News of a baby could ruin everything he'd worked so hard for, and she didn't want to ruin anything for him. However, as she'd lain on scratchy sheets on the very uncomfortable bed in the cold hospital room with two Healers waving their wands over her and mumbling very quietly under their breath, looking completely worried, she'd wished she'd told him—she'd wished he could have been there with her, because she knew he would've been, if given the choice.
Now, as she slowly made her way back toward the fireplaces that would take her back to her home with the news that she'd lost her—their—child, she felt devastated and furious with herself for not using the brains she'd been blessed with and telling the father of her child—the love of her life—that they had been expecting.
What had she been thinking?
You were trying to spare him the pain, she reminded herself, but now he's going to be in even more pain.
Narcissa shook her head and quickly wiped the tears she hadn't managed to hold back before anyone could see her emotions. It's improper for a proper woman like yourself to cry over such silly things, was what her mother would've said if she were here. Lucius deserves much better than a girl who can't carry to term. Now you can spare him the pain of marrying a defect, Druella would also add. And I had such high hopes for you. You were supposed to be the good one.
Narcissa gritted her teeth tightly as she stepped into the fireplace with a purpose, twirling around on her heels to face the front, causing her long, dark blue dress to twirl along with her. Narcissa was mentally giving Druella a piece of her mind at the moment. She threw the Floo powder into the pit. "Black Home," she stated firmly, and she let out a very quiet sigh when the emerald-green flames appeared and swooped her up in them and away, returning her to her parents' home.
Thankfully, when she arrived, no one seemed to be present in the drawing room, allowing her to sneak to her room without any inquiries from her mother and father on where she had been. She was in absolute agony, not only mentally, but physically. And even though the Healers had done a pretty fine job healing her, she still found herself in quite a bit of pain. They had warned her that she might be sore for a while.
You deserve it, she told herself. That's the least you can endure, after everything you've managed to ruin.
The moment she arrived in her room, she made her way over to the bed, curling up on top of her duvet and pulling her pillow close to her, burying her face deep within it.
She produced her wand and waved it around the room, inwardly chanting the 'Muffliato' spell so that no one could hear her loud cries. She replaced her wand and let out all of her emotion into her pillow, not holding anything back.
How could she have been so careless? What had she been thinking allowing herself to make love to him without thinking of the possible consequences, and how could she have not told him she was pregnant? What was he to say if she told him, now? Would he hate her?
You can't tell him, she told herself. It wouldn't be fair—he didn't even know you were with child. You've ruined everything. Absolutely everything.
After a while, she'd managed to fall asleep, only to face horrible dreams about their child and life without Lucius.
Several hours passed, and when she finally managed to get out of bed, she made her way over to the antique desk that sat by her window. She grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and began to write a letter, sending an owl to the man she loved as soon as it was signed and sealed.
When Lucius had received Narcissa's owl in she'd sent her goodbyes and her engagement ring, he'd not been able to take it seriously. Not until he'd tried every way possible to get in touch with her and talk with her about what was going on that made her feel that she was not worthy of him and that he needed to move on without her.
He knew how badly her parents treated her and had even written an awful letter to explain to them that no matter what they thought or told her, their daughter and he were meant to be together, and if they didn't agree they could shove it up—.
Needless to say, Lucius had been banned from going to their home, so trying to see Narcissa was pointless. They'd even blocked the Floo connection from the Manor to their home.
There was no way to get in touch with the love of his life—the woman he loved—and the idea of never being able to see her again and never knowing why she left him practically made him die inside.
He had lived at Malfoy Manor on his own since his father had died and Lucius had taken over as head of the Malfoy family and assumed his father's position in the Dark Lord's Trust—he'd been branded at the age of seventeen, just after he'd graduated from Hogwarts. His mother and sister, Seraphina and Lara, had gone to live in one of their many other mansions in England. However, when his mother had heard the news about Narcissa leaving, she'd begun dropping by more often, bringing Lara when she could. Lucius knew that she'd always loved Narcissa and thought of her as a daughter, because Seraphina knew how much her son loved Narcissa.
His mother had been making more visits now that he'd put all his energy into working his way up in the Trust—he was determined to either die or be on top. Now that Narcissa was gone, he didn't care about living, and if he had to remain alive, he would at least work toward proving himself to the Dark Lord in order to get the better and more violent missions.
He often came home with several injuries and spent many hours healing himself with the help of his house-elf Dobby or his mother, if she happened to be there, which she currently was.
Lucius sat on a chair in the toilet, his mother standing behind him, rubbing paste over a nasty gash in his back that 'Episkey' hadn't been able to heal fully.
"Merlin's sake, Lucius, if your father was alive—"
"He's not, Mother," interrupted Lucius. "And even if he was, he'd be the one in need of medical attention, not me."
"Not necessarily," she answered flatly. "He wasn't reckless—stubborn, yes—but not reckless."
Lucius let out a long, heavy sigh, knowing his mother knew exactly why he was making the decisions that he had been over the past few months. "There's no point to my life unless she's in it. I physically hurt without her, Mother. I want to—" Lucius stopped himself from finishing the sentence that he knew would send a pain like a sharpened arrow through his mother's heart. He wouldn't do that to her.
Seraphina sighed and placed the cloth down on the counter. Lucius watched as she made her way in front of him and bent down to meet him at eye-level. She placed a hand against his cheek, their identical eyes locked on each other.
"My sweet boy," she began, "I know it's hard, but there is so much more to live for. I've wanted nothing more than for her to return to you, but she hasn't, my love, and what if she never does? Lucius, are you going to waste your life away while waiting to see?"
Lucius remained quiet, knowing what he wanted to say but also knowing that his mother would inform him that waiting on her would cause him more misery and pain.
What if that was what he wanted to feel?
"You don't have to come here and see me miserable, Mother," he said. "You can stop visiting."
"Never," she replied. "I may not agree with how you're choosing to handle your grief, but you're my son, and I'm not going to leave you in your biggest time of need."
Lucius nodded toward her. "I love you, Mum," he said.
"And I love you, sweetheart," she replied.
Lucius watched as she stood again, and then she made her way behind him and began healing the rest of his wound.
Augustus had waited a long time for the day the infamous couple—Lucius and Narcissa—split. He knew the likelihood of something like that actually happening had been one in a trillion, but the gods had obviously heard his prayers and answered.
Augustus Rookwood had always been attracted to Narcissa and had long ago convinced himself that that meant he had true feelings for her—just like Lucius did. The truth was, he'd always been jealous of Lucius, even when they'd been children. He'd always wanted everything Lucius had. Augustus had grown up in a very dysfunctional and unstable home and felt that he deserved more than what he'd been given. All throughout school, he'd pretended to be Lucius's friend, working hard to become everything Lucius was and more. Unfortunately for Augustus, his dream of being Lucius Malfoy had never happened.
Now, however, he had the opportunity to get his girl—the one he'd been pining after ever since Lucius had shared with him and their other friend Walden that he had feelings for Narcissa. Once the two had started dating, Augustus had worked hard to convince Narcissa that he was the better option, but in the end, she'd chosen him—Lucius.
Augustus knew that taking Narcissa from him would bring trouble—and possibly harm—to himself, but he didn't care. He had to win; he had to get the girl. He had to be on top. And if he could take Lucius Malfoy's love, then he would have earned that title, in his twisted mind.
He'd been delicate about the situation; he'd made sure to wait a while before jumping in and making his move. He had to be delicate, if he wanted to win.
First, he'd waited until several months had passed—ten, to be exact—and then he'd contacted her mother, knowing that was the only way he'd be able to even see her. Narcissa would never agree to go out with him because she knew that he'd had feelings for her in school, but he knew Druella and knew that she wanted nothing more than her daughters to marry Pureblood men. Since Narcissa still hadn't done so and had recently broken a long-term engagement, he knew her mother would be desperate to get her married and out of the house. The Blacks already had enough to be ashamed of without adding Narcissa's recent embarrassment to the list.
Augustus had received the approval from Druella like he'd hoped and was now standing at the front door of the Black household, waiting for someone to answer the door. When the door opened, Pippy, the Blacks' house-elf, opened the door.
"I'm here for Narcissa," said Augustus.
"Right this way," answered the elf, opening the door more and closing it with a snap of his fingers when Augustus had entered.
After he'd met with her and her mother, he decided to take her to The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, where they could enjoy drinks together.
Narcissa's eyes opened wide with horror as she lay bare in a bed that wasn't Lucius's, in an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar place that she didn't… Her thoughts were interrupted by an arm that wrapped around her and by unfamiliar lips that began kissing her cheek. However, when she heard the stranger say good morning, she felt the sudden urge to be ill, closing her eyes tightly and praying that this was an awful nightmare that she would soon wake up from.
Her heart pounded and her mind raced with all sorts of questions that she wasn't used to asking herself, most of them along the lines of How did I get here?
She gripped the sheets tightly as the arm gripped her tighter, and that need to be sick just continued to grow so much so that she sat up as best she could, causing him to sit up, as well.
"Are you all right?" asked Augustus, taking her chin with his fingers and turning it toward him, leaning closer to kiss her.
Narcissa pulled her lips away and stood from the mattress, grabbing the nearest throw and wrapping herself up in it.
"I'm—I believe I'm hungover, excuse me," she said as she rushed toward the bathroom, where she slammed the door and began to violently lose what little contents had filled her stomach.
"Narcissa?" came his voice from the outside of the bathroom.
"Go away, please," she said weakly.
Thankfully, she didn't lose anything more from her insides. Unfortunately, she'd made a horrible decision the night before and had become so intoxicated that she'd agreed to things she would have never done if she'd been sober. All she'd kept thinking about the whole night was how she wished that she'd been with Lucius and not Augustus. The only thing that allowed her to stay was all the shots of Firewhiskey. Her mother had threatened her and she'd had no other choice but to oblige. And now she'd wished she'd taken her mother's abuse rather than… spending the night with Augustus Rookwood.
She would never forgive herself for betraying her heart—the one that only beat for Lucius, the one that longed for Lucius, and even though her pride wouldn't allow her to go back on her decision to protect him from her broken self and return to him, she'd promised herself that she would never be with another. He was all she wanted; he was who she needed, right now. How had she allowed herself to get here? And how was she ever going to get herself out?
"Please wake up," she said as she hugged her knees and softly cried. "Please let me wake up to him; let me wake up to Lucius."
Lenore stepped out of the fireplace and into the living room in the Macnair Home, which was now run by their son Walden, who was her fiancé. Walden stood from the couch and greeted her with a kiss that she happily returned.
"How'd it go?" he asked as he pulled away.
Lenore sighed, shaking her head. "She's not all right, Walden. He took her to The Three Broomsticks, and one thing lead to another, and…"
"Say no more," answered Walden. "Does Lucius know?"
Lenore shook her head vigorously. "No! And she doesn't want him to. She wants to forget it ever happened, but her mother has forced her to continue to see him and has been feeding her loads of bullocks about how he's the only one that she's good for. She hasn't told her mother what happened, of course, but knowing Druella, that would only fuel her desire to keep them together so that Narcissa can marry and get out as soon as possible… I'm worried for her, Walden. We must do something."
Walden kissed Lenore's forehead and held her close. Lenore didn't resist when he pulled her close, clinging tightly to his robes when he did. She was so worried for her best friend. Lenore and Narcissa had been best friends since before Hogwarts, and their time at school together had only grown their friendship. And with Walden and Lucius being best friends, as well, the quad had always spent a lot of time together and had been inseparable during their time at Hogwarts. Their friendship only grew as time went on. However, during this awful separation between two people who were meant to be together had put a strain on their group. Though they were still friends, it wasn't the same—at the end of the day, they were more than friends: they were family, and Lenore hoped to find a way to remind Lucius and Narcissa of not only their love for one another but of that, as well.
"I know," answered Walden.
He released his grip on her and began to pace back and forth. Lenore watched with a raised eyebrow as he did, wondering what he was planning and knowing it would be good—he always had the greatest ideas.
"I've got it!" he exclaimed.
Both of Lenore's eyebrows raised, her own excitement rising. Whatever Walden was about to inform her of, she knew that Lucius and Narcissa's separation would soon come to an end.