Author's Notes

Okay, y'all! This was really fun to write, but i'm not super fast at it. I don't know if i'll get a single review asking me to update :( but if anyone cares, i can't promise to be fast! well, enjoy!

Finding Him

A Rosalie and Emmett Story

Chapter One: Determination

Rosalie's POV

I whipped around fiercely, my throat bursting into open flames. The deer I had been drinking from lay at my feet, its blood cooling.

The gusty wind had shifted, and I was hit with the irresistible scent of human blood. It was the strongest emotion of this life, the thirst for blood, the monster rearing inside you.

My body longed for the delicious liquid, screamed for it; most of my mind agreed eagerly. The small rational part of me yelled at me, reminding me that this would make me a monster, reminding me of all the close calls I'd had, yet somehow pulled through. I didn't want to screw up my spotless record, did I? It made me somehow more perfect than I already was.

I closed my eyes, doing my best to ignore the burning of my mouth, filled with excess venom. I concentrated on the part of my brain that still functioned right, and did my best to tune the rest out.

Somewhere, roughly forty-five miles a way, a human was in serious trouble. This was no mere paper cut, someone was close to dying. I knew I should forget it, and race away as fast as I could, before I succumbed to temptation, but my mind pulled out a memory…

"I couldn't just let her die," Carlisle was saying. "It was too much to lose, too much waste."

"People die all the time." Edward reminded him harshly.

"I couldn't let her die" Carlisle repeated.

"I know," said Edward dismissively, hanging his head wearily.

I hated this life, as they both very well knew. I was resentful to Carlisle for changing me, to Edward for not wanting me, to Esme for using me as a substitute child, to the whole stupid world for harboring monsters like me, and I was furious at fate for forcing this life on me. All I ever wanted, taken away…

And yet, I was so afraid of death, that, after the pain stopped, I preferred this life to…going beyond…to the unknown.

Was I selfish enough to force this life on someone else? I tried to tell myself it wasn't, that I was just saving them from death, but, deep down, I realized that maybe it was just me, maybe, to anyone else, death would be preferable. At least I had my beauty. At least I had my "family", although they were usually little comfort. If I didn't have those lifelines, maybe death would have been better. And yet still, I felt a strange protectiveness. Like Carlisle, I didn't feel like I could just let them die…

No, I told myself. I can't do that. I'd probably lose control anyway. Carlisle could… my mind wandered. No, I screamed internally again, cutting my own thought off. That isn't fair. I can't damn someone to an eternity of night. I won't.

A thought occurred to me that hadn't before. I could just run them to the nearest hospital, it's only about one hundred and twenty miles away, and they could heal the human there. That's what I'll do. I couldn't live with myself if I just left the human, knowing that I was this close, and not helping. So, against all reason, I took off, sprinting in the direction of a human I may or may not have the self restraint not to kill. What an idiot.

As I ran, I tried distracting myself from the delicious scent, growing ever closer. I went over every single conversation topic that night at Vera's. New dresses, gossip of the girl next door, and wedding plans, always wedding plans.

I was getting very close now; I could smell it stronger then ever. It nearly had me then, but I told myself I was stronger than that, better than that. I dove into the memory with renewed force.

I remember Vera walking me to the door. Her husband hand his hand curled around her waist, and he kissed her on the cheek as I buttoned my coat. He thought I wasn't looking, but I saw it all. It was so much sweeter than anytime Royce had ever kissed me.

I dwelled on this for a moment. It reminded me of the way that Carlisle and Esme looked – totally content, like they were looking at their forever when the gazed into each others eyes.

I couldn't think about this; it was too painful. It was everything I'd ever wanted, and everything I could never have. I distracted myself again.

I remembered Vera's baby hitched on her right hip. Henry was just the most beautiful boy, with his dimples, his baby-faced innocence, his wreath of dark curls. I thought of his gleaming white smile with motherly affection – and stopped dead.

I knew I was close, but I hadn't realized just how close.

I was here.

Of course I knew my eyes were glistening black, of course I felt my muscles tense, ready to spring. Of course I felt the glands in my mouth producing unnecessary venom; preparing to feed.

But this was not why I stopped.

I stopped because it was like the very image I had been seeing in my head when my thoughts had been stopped in their tracks had been projected in front of me. The human, roughly eighteen years old, was writhing in pain, grimacing horribly, even though no sound escaped his lips. He held his breath, although I heard his heart accelerate. His eyes were squeezed shut, tighter than any eyes should be.

And yet, although he was clearly dying, he was a mirror image of Vera's happy little Henry.

Of course it couldn't be him, Henry would be barely three years old. Yet still, the dimples were Henry's, although the right one was slightly more prominent – but it just made him all the more beautiful. Even though it couldn't be Henry, his curly, dark, hair framed his face in just the same way. And the biggest similarity of all was the boy-like innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man's face, yet still so natural.

He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen – next to myself.

His physical features were gorgeous, I suppose, for a human – just the type of man Vera and I would have giggled about when we were younger. But the beautiful man's most gorgeous features were the things like the crinkled lines around his eyes that were obviously always present, proving to me he laughed a lot. When his eyelids parted only fractionally, for just a moment, I could see the twinkle in them, and the kindness present there, even though that was clearly not on his mind right now. And once again, the innocence on his face bounded to the front of my mind. Even on his deathbed (or his deathforestfloor, if you want to get technical,), it was just obvious that he was a perpetually happy person.

And I knew I had to save him.

Not my original idea of bringing him to the hospital, that wouldn't work anymore. For some reason, I felt the urge to protect him, like it would kill me if he died. I knew it was silly, I didn't even know the man, but I couldn't deny the feeling.

So, ignoring the burning thirst in my throat, I kissed the man on the cheek. "I'll save you." I vowed; more to myself than him. "I swear it."

I knew I couldn't trust myself to bite him, what if I lost it? I would take him to Carlisle, whom I knew could do it. Now my only problem would be the journey. I steeled myself. I would do this. For him.

And, cradling him in my arms, I pumped my legs back to Carlisle.