Rescue Me
She was the only one who exactly how to push my buttons. With everyone else, I was even-keeled, completely calm. But two minutes in a room with her and I was about ready to burst.
Despite this, she was also the only one who made my stomach flop and send shivers down my spine. The only one who made me weak in the knees and make me wish I was less prim and proper. She made me want a wild side. I, so badly, wanted for her to notice me, to rescue me from my hum-drum life.
Rescue me
Oh take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too
Come on and rescue me
Every time we talked, though, we ended up fighting. Our latest fight was the biggest. We had been fighting since we had left the dormitory and our voices were beginning to grow louder.
"You are an all-around, first class nerd!" Xiomara half yelled at me as her finishing statement. Then she sat down and acted as if nothing were out of the norm.
""You… You… You scarlet! I despise you! You make my skin crawl, you brazen hussy!" I shrieked. I was suddenly aware that the entire Great Hall was staring at us. Xiomara was unaffected, as usual. I, however, felt their stares and my face grew hot. "Please excuse me," I mumbled, turning towards the exit of the school. I reached the door and then broke into a dead run after I passed through it.
Come on baby and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
'Coz I need you, by my side
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue me
I reached the clearing that I had so often visited to think about her. I sat down on the rock and drew my knees up to my chin. This fight proved, once again, that she couldn't ever think of me as more than her boring, prim and proper, stiff roommate. I would never win her heart.
I began to cry. All those years I had dreamt of her, and now, at the close of my sixth year, I realized just how foolish it all was. All of my dreams and hopes and prayers were in vain. I rocked back and forth and realized that I didn't know how to function if I wasn't trying to impress her.
I had always done my homework and I was an extraordinary student. A big part of that, though, had to be given to the fact that I had always done my homework in front of her so she could ask for help. She probably just thought I was a show-off.
I sat there, thinking and dreaming of my lost love and I cried. I openly sobbed.
I heard a twig snap and I was suddenly alert. I reached toward my wand, but no one seemed to be around. I relaxed and I laid back on the rock, but I kept my hand by my wand, just in case. I sat that way until dawn. Then I got up and walked back to the castle. By the time I reached my dorm, Xiomara was asleep. She probably hadn't given my absence, or our fight, a second thought. I laid down to sleep, resolved to get over her. If I could just avoid her for my seventh year, I could try to block out my feelings.
I woke early the next morning so that I could take the early train and avoid any conversation with Xiomara. I knew that I would break down and tell her if I talked to her the next morning. I packed up all my belongings and walked over to Xiomara, still asleep in her bed.
I brushed my lips against hers as a final goodbye. "Goodbye, my sweet love. You will always have my heart. But, if I don't get over you soon, I'll never live."
I got on the train and sat down. I felt tears well up as I thought of my love that I would never see again, but I blinked them away.
I was going away for the summer, not just away from Hogwarts, but my family was going to visit family in Scotland. That would give me plenty of time to get over Xiomara.
It was to be a summer of family reunions of the wizarding sort. And in Scotland, that meant lots of drinking and doing ridiculous spells. I cringed and thought that, at Hogwarts, that length of time would be spent with friends and gazing at the beautiful Xiomara.
Come on and take my heart
Take your love and conquer every part
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too
Come on and rescue me
The summer went by quickly, as if testing my resolve to get over Xiomara. I, of course, became Head Girl. This meant an earlier return. I smiled to myself. With all my duties and whatnot, I may not even see her. My resolve wouldn't be tested after all. I kept thinking that my resolve wouldn't be tested and that I wouldn't see her, then I frowned.
I wouldn't see her. I wouldn't see the goddess I had loved for so long. I physically shook myself. This is not the way I was supposed to be thinking. I was supposed to be glad for not seeing her or having my moving on challenged.
Come on baby and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
'Coz I need you by my side
Can't you see that I'm lonely
September flew by. My Head Girl duties had me busy constantly. I often missed dinner and had to visit the kitchens to get dinner late at night so I could eat while I studied. Any time I had to rest, I thought of her. I thought of the last time I had spoken to her and I wanted to cry. I had said horrible things to her. I decided to take a break from studying during my free period and so I walked back down to the clearing I had run to as an escape after the last fight I had with my goddess.
I sat down on my rock and I drew my knees up and I cried. I had lost my Xiomara forever. I had never told her how I felt, and now I never could. She would think me ridiculous and I could never live with myself if she thought of me with a negative light. I would rather she think I was a goodie-two-shoes than think me an absurd child.
After I had been crying for a few minutes, I felt someone hug me close. I looked down at the person's lap to see their robes, and my heart soared. My beloved Xiomara was hugging me! I snuggled closer. Maybe it wasn't such a waste of time, after all, to think about her. I lifted my head to see my darling, then I smiled and closed my eyes and I prayed she would take the hint. I felt her lips brush mine and she began to kiss me. I felt that I had walked into a dream. I intensified the kiss.
Rescue me
Oh take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too
Come on and rescue me
Come on baby, take me baby, hold me baby, love me baby
Can't you see that I need you baby
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue me
"She never showed any indication of liking you," a voice in my head nagged. "She's using you because she knows you like her and she needs help," the voice continued. "She's too good and worldly for you. You'll never mean anything to her. She doesn't like you," the voice finished. I thought to myself and I knew that the voice in my head was true. I pulled back from her. I looked at her. She looked confused, but I knew this whole scene was too good to be true.
I was suddenly angry. How dare she play with my affections? I pushed off the rock and scowled.
"I don't know what you're playing at, but touch me again, Xiomara Hooch, and I'll have your head mounted on the wall in the head boy and girl room. I have no intention of associating with you this year." I told her, scathingly. I refused to let her get to me. I drew myself up with as much pride as I had left, and I began to leave the clearing. I felt the tears begin, so I broke into a run and I took back routes to the Head Boy and Girl dormitory to avoid being seen.
Come on and take my hand
Come on baby and be my man
Cuz I love you cuz I want you
Can't you see that I'm lonely?
Take me baby
Love me baby
Need me baby
Can't you see that I'm lonely?
I sat on the armchair by the fire and I cried. My dream of so many years had been mocked and spat on.
My face burned and I knew there would be no facing her. I looked to the wall, the very same wall I had threatened to have Xiomara's head hung on if she touched me again. I lifted my fingers to my lips and began to sob again…
I could still feel her warmth on my lips.