A/N: I know I have other stories to update, but this was begging to be written. This is how the finale would go down if I was one of the writers because I support a happy ending for Olivia. It started out as a one-shot but ended up being kind of long so I broke it up into 2 chapters. The second chapter's finished already so the plan is to get it up tomorrow at some point if you're all interested in it. Let me know what you think, here or on twitter Dimonkey17. Thanks :)

It was seven o'clock on a Wednesday night in the beginning of May. It had been a relatively slow day at the precinct and most of the detectives had already cleared out over an hour ago, eager to get out and enjoy the uncharacteristically warm weather. Olivia was one of the few members of the one-six that remained at her desk. When she finally realized she had been staring at the same blank computer screen for the last twenty-five minutes she decided to pack it in and call it a day. Between all the thoughts swarming around in her head, competing for her undivided attention, there was no way she was going to get this paperwork finished tonight anyway.

This had no doubt been the most trying year of Olivia's life. First there had been Lewis, an ordeal she barely survived and could not get out of her head for the longest time no matter how hard she tried. Then in the midst of her recovery Munch and Cragen both left and she was promoted to commanding officer of special victims. And just when it felt like she was getting her feet back underneath her, she and Brian had broken up, effectively dashing her belief that she had finally found the man she was going to settle down and start a family with. Then when she had thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, there was Lewis again and all the ensuing fallout that almost cost Olivia her job and her reputation. With all of that it was a wonder she was still standing at all.

Not to mention the unending trials of her fellow squad mates. This year had seen Amanda fall off the gambling wagon and Nick almost lose his shield over an incident of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They had both battled their demons though, and although there was still something slightly off about the two younger detectives which Olivia couldn't quite put her finger on, she had been confident their troubles were behind them as well. That was until Nick got himself arrested three days ago for assaulting Simon Wilkes. They seriously could not catch a break, any of them. Well except for maybe Fin.

As if all of that wasn't enough already, she had also just last week sat through another placement hearing for Baby Boy Doe. A hearing that ended much the same way the previous hearings had ended—with the small child being transferred to yet another foster home, with no prospects for a permanent solution in sight. The injustice of it all left Olivia feeling a mixture of anger at the system and sorrow for the confused little boy who desperately just needed someone to love him.

So now, instead of filling out her fives, Olivia was sitting at her desk consumed by thoughts of Brian, babies, and enough bad luck to last a lifetime or two. While she waited for her computer to shut down she gathered up her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk and slung her light-weight spring jacket over her arm. The pile of untouched files on her desk would remain there until tomorrow. She couldn't concentrate on them here at work; there was no way she was dragging them home so they could sit untouched on her coffee table. As she pushed in her chair and turned to leave she couldn't help but think about the desk's previous occupant.

Sergeant John Munch.

Her dear friend and colleague. She had actually just bumped into him yesterday. He had stopped in at Rikers to visit Nick and afterwards had decided to drop by the squad room and pay the rest of them a visit as well. It had felt so refreshing to catch up but something Munch said caught her completely off guard and had been nagging at her ever since. She replayed the discussion in her mind as she made her way to the elevator.

"John, can I ask you something?" Olivia waited for Munch to nod his assent before continuing. "Have you ever thought about having kids?"

Munch chuckled before answering her. "No, not really. Not after all I've seen in this job. It's funny you should ask though. I had this same conversation with your boyfriend—…"

"Ex-boyfriend," Olivia hurried to correct him. She immediately regretted saying the word out loud. Even now, a month after the breakup, it still felt like a knife in her heart to hear Brian referred to in that way.

"Fine, ex-boyfriend. Anyway," Munch continued, shaking his head, clearly perplexed as to why the couple had parted, "fifteen years ago Brian and I had the same discussion. My feelings now are the same as they were then. Brian, though, he couldn't wait to have a family. Told me he thought about it all the time."

Olivia paled as she sank into a nearby chair. The rest of her conversation with Munch was a complete blur. She just kept hearing those last three words over and over like a repeating mantra.

All the time? Olivia still couldn't wrap her head around Munch's words. How could that be true? When she had brought up the topic of having kids and growing old together he hadn't been remotely interested. He just agreed that it was time for them to go their own ways, even though they both so obviously still loved each other. No, Munch must have misunderstood Brian. Or all those years undercover had changed Brian. She certainly wasn't the same person she was fifteen years ago.

No. She had progressed from pushing Brian away because she was completely focused on her career to being willing to let her career take a backseat to a husband and baby. While Brian had reverted from thinking about kids all the time to not wanting kids at all. The irony was not lost on Olivia. The timing in her life always seemed to be just slightly off.

As she stood impatiently waiting for the elevator, her mind made the natural leap from thoughts of Brian to thoughts of Baby Boy Doe, as it had done so many times in the recent days. The judge's words from his last placement hearing came to her, tugging at her already fragile heart.

"This is Baby Boy Doe's fourth home. Can't we do better?"

It was the memory of that challenge that prompted Olivia to make a spur of the moment decision on her way out of the precinct that evening. Perhaps she couldn't fix Nick's tricky legal situation. And in all likelihood she'd never find another man to fill the gigantic hole in her heart that Brian had left. But maybe, just maybe, she could change the fate of Baby Boy Doe for the better. With that thought in mind, she got in her car and drove to see the only person she could think of that might be willing and able to help her.

Olivia wasn't even sure why she was there. This was probably the worst idea she had ever had but once it took root she couldn't get it out of her head. If she was totally honest with herself, this wasn't a fly by night decision; she'd actually been tossing the idea around for the past couple months. So she had to at least try to pursue it or she'd spend an eternity plagued by "what-ifs" and "if onlys". And if she was going to try to adopt Baby Boy Doe she would need a good lawyer. So here she stood at a quarter till eight, knocking on the office door of Trevor Langan. They had had their share of run-ins in the past but he had proved himself to be a tenacious lawyer when she was falsely accused of murder and now he worked family law so logically it seemed he was her best bet.

"Come in," called the deep voice behind the door.

Olivia slowly turned the door handle and made her way cautiously into the moderately sized office. Book shelves lined two of the walls while windows overlooking the busy city made up a third wall. At a large desk positioned in front of the windows sat Trevor Langan, tie loosened, glasses perched on his nose, and a bemused smirk on his face.

"Sergeant Benson, what can I do for you?" he asked, as he motioned for her to take a seat in one of the cozy leather chairs facing his desk.

Olivia wasn't exactly sure how to start so she paused for a moment before getting right to the matter at hand. "I want to adopt a baby. Actually, this baby," she replied as she passed a file across the desk to Trevor.

Trevor opened the folder and casually perused the pictures and documents inside. When he had finished he set the file on his desk and looked back at Olivia. "Well it looks like this baby is a ward of the state which helps, since there are no parents involved fighting for custody, but I should warn you it won't be easy."

"Not easy like there's a one hundred percent chance I won't be allowed to adopt him because of my career no matter how good of a mother I'd be? Or not easy like being the product of a rape, raised by an alcoholic mother, and surviving three sexual assaults, two by the same man? Because I handled the second one. So if there's even a slight chance, I'm willing to take it."

"Okay, well let me ask you this. Your husband, boyfriend, significant other, how does he feel about the adoption? I notice you came alone."

"That's because I am alone," Olivia said with a defeated sigh. "There's no husband or boyfriend waiting at home. It's just me. My boyfriend didn't want children so when I brought up the idea of kids, he split. And before you ask about other family, it's still just me. No parents, no siblings, no nothing. Well other than a brother that I haven't seen in over two years. Is that going to be a problem?"

Trevor pushed his glasses up on the top of his head before responding. "I'm not going to sugar coat things for you. Your demanding job, no support systems—the odds are not stacked in your favor."

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat before replying in a voice barely above a whisper, "That's what I was afraid of. I looked into this six years ago and was turned down for the same reasons. I'm not sure why I let myself believe this time would be any different. Thanks for your time."

Olivia bent over to pick up her purse and coat which she had set on the ground by her feet and was about to stand up when Trevor stopped her.

"Hold on. From what I know about you, if anyone could give this baby a good home it's you. And I'm always up for a good fight. So sit back down and let me go grab some papers for you to fill out and we'll get the ball in motion."

Olivia smiled appreciatively at him as she settled back into the chair. She would have thanked him but she wasn't sure she trusted her voice right at that moment. While she waited she did her best to push the voices out of her head—the voices that told her she was just wasting her time and getting her hopes up for no reason; that no one would ever give her a baby.

A half hour later all of the preliminary paperwork had been filled out. Olivia signed her name on one final form and recapped the pen before handing both objects back to Trevor.

"Okay, that's everything for now. I'll file these papers with the judge tomorrow and I'll let you know when I hear anything. You should expect a visit from Child Protective Services to make sure your home is safe for an infant. They'll want to interview you too—ask you some of the same questions I already asked you; just to make sure you'll be a fit mother. Don't get bogged down on the demanding job and lack of family support system. You have a lot of other really good assets. Sell those. Make them see why you deserve to be that baby's mom. Also if I were you I'd start baby-proofing your apartment a while. You know, safety locks on all the cabinets, minimal alcohol in the house, nothing small where a baby could reach it, make sure you have a safe for your firearm. You might even want to buy some baby supplies; start preparing for a baby to live there."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to get my hopes up. That this wouldn't be easy," Olivia said with trepidation.

"Sometimes if you really want something you have to be willing to take a few risks. Put your heart on the line and trust it won't get squashed," Trevor said with a grin.

The unintended double meaning in Trevor's words was too much for Olivia. She needed to get out of there now before she started crying over Brian in front of Trevor Langan. She quickly gathered up her stuff and stood up.

"Thank you for all your help. I'll be waiting for your call," Olivia said as she turned toward the door.

"Wait." Trevor stopped Olivia from leaving for the second time that evening.

She turned back around and gave him a puzzled look. "I thought you said we were done."

"We are. I was just thinking, I haven't had dinner yet and I was wondering if you'd like to join me. I know this great little bistro only a couple blocks from here."

Olivia immediately knew the place he was referring to. It was the restaurant she and Brian were supposed to go to when she had come home late and they ended up arguing about Lewis, and being tired, and just ordered in instead.

Olivia gave him a weak smile. "Thanks for the offer but I think I'm just gonna head home. I have some baby-proofing to do. And full disclosure, I'm not anywhere close to being over my last failed relationship so…," she trailed off, not really sure how to end her sentence. Talking about her unresolved feelings for Brian seemed like much too personal of a topic to broach with her lawyer, especially a mildly attractive, single one like Trevor Langan.

"I hope this doesn't affect your willingness to help me," she added.

Trevor gave her a half smile before reaching behind Olivia to open the door for her. "Now what kind of lawyer would I be if I let a little rejection get in the way of my professional duty to my client? Don't worry, I'm still in your corner. But can I give you one final piece of unsolicited advice?"

Olivia shook her head in agreement and waited silently for him to continue.

"This ex of yours. It doesn't sound like you're ready to give up on him. Maybe give him another chance. Men can surprise you sometimes. Just because he didn't want a hypothetical baby, doesn't mean he won't change his mind about an actual baby."

"Thanks for trying to help, but I think he made it pretty clear how he felt," Olivia replied. She could feel the tears forming and knew it would only be a matter of seconds before they were spilling down her cheeks. "Thanks again for everything," she choked out before hurrying down the hall and through the door to the stairwell.

Langan was saying something as she walked away but all she could hear were the words "all the time" once again pounding in her head.

Two weeks later on a Monday evening Olivia sat on the floor of her apartment trying unsuccessfully to construct a crib. Despite the expected obstacles, things were actually progressing in a positive fashion. She had met with Trevor several more times to fill out additional paperwork. She had been cleared by a psychiatrist as a viable candidate for adoption, even though she still struggled with PTSD. Olivia had even had a few supervised visits with Baby Doe over the past two weeks and if possible she fell even more in love with him and his chubby little cheeks every time she saw him. It was going to hit her hard if in the end they didn't award her custody.

The final hurdle was the home visit with Child Protective Services and she had gotten the news from Langan this afternoon that they would be by in the morning to meet with her. Which is why she was now frantically trying to construct baby furniture. She had already purchased clothes and diapers, pacifiers and bottles, a car seat, and every other supply an infant could possibly need. The final step was building a crib and a changing table and she was beginning to wonder why she had waited until the last minute.

It hadn't been this hard to construct the other furniture in her apartment, had it? No, she thought wistfully, because Brian did most of the work. She just handed him tools and read the directions.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock at the door.

Maybe that was Fin. He had said he might stop by later to see if she needed any help; made some joke about how just because she could operate a gun didn't mean she could work a screwdriver and a hammer. She had pretended to be offended but the truth was the pile of unassembled crib parts that littered her floor proved he knew what he was talking about.

Standing up and dusting her hands off on her jeans, she made her way to the front door still holding a piece of wood in her one hand. Expecting it to be Fin, she opened the door without checking the peekhole.

Olivia gasped when she pulled the door open and the person on the other side came into view. It wasn't Fin, but Brian who was standing on her doorstep. To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. They had not spoken since that day at the hospital, yet here he was, staring at her with those dreamy hazel eyes of his.

"Hey Olivia." Brian gave her a half hearted smile. The fact that he had not called her Liv was not lost on her. It stung to think that they had lost that familiarity.

"Brian? What are you doing here?" She had intended her words to come off as merely inquisitive but as soon as they left her mouth she heard the harsh tone in them. Brian clearly had too as he took a step back before answering her.

"Uh…well, I'm really sorry to bother you, but um…I've been looking all over for my Whitesnake album and I can't find it anywhere. I was wondering if maybe I left it here. Do you care if I…uh…look around. See if it's still on the shelves?" Brian stumbled over his words. Olivia was unsure if it was just because of the awkwardness of the encounter made worse by her unintended rudeness or because he had another agenda and the album was nothing more than a cover story.

Either way, reluctantly she stepped aside and motioned for him to enter the apartment. "Sure, go ahead. Don't mind the mess."

As Brian made his way down the short hallway he took in the subtle changes. The emptiness was not what surprised him. He knew it would take her a while to fill in the spaces he left. It was the baby bottles on the counter, the neatly folded baby clothing on the couch, the child safety locks on all the cabinet doors, the rocking chair occupying the place where their armchair used to sit, and the makings of what he could only assume was a crib blocking his access to the bookshelf.

Brian slowly turned back around until he was eye to eye with Olivia, a stupefied expression gracing his face. It took him a minute but he was finally about to formulate his thoughts into words. "Are you…pregnant?"

Olivia uttered a bittersweet laugh before she responded. "No. No. I'm not pregnant. I would have told you if I were. I'm actually trying to adopt Baby Boy Doe. You remember, the baby from that case of mine. We found him in the hotel with those little girls."

Brian gradually nodded his head in recognition. He noticed how her eyes lit up as soon as she started talking about the baby.

"Anyway, he's been shuffled in and out of foster homes since we found him so I thought I'd try to give him a permanent home. It's looking good too. The final step in the evaluation process is tomorrow. CPS is coming to my apart-," She paused. It felt wrong to refer to this place as her apartment in front of him. "I mean they're coming to the apartment to make sure it's a safe environment for a baby and to vet me. If I pass, the official adoption hearing will be on Friday."

They stood in awkward silence for a few more minutes before Brian finally spoke again. "Well good for you. I know this is something you really wanted and I'm glad to see you're getting your happy ending even if it couldn't be with me."

Olivia just scoffed. How dare he make it sound like she had willingly chosen this life that didn't include him? She dropped the crib part she held in her hand back on the pile and made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"What did I say?" Brian followed her into the kitchen. He reached out and gently placed his hand on her forearm, which she immediately removed.

"I'm not having this discussion with you again. It's only going to open up old wounds. I said all I needed to say weeks ago," Olivia fumed, pushing past him as she spoke, heading toward the bedroom. "Look for your stupid album and just let yourself out when you're done."

Before Brian could say another word, the bedroom door slammed shut with a resounding thud.