For Daisy / glasses-john on tumblr as part of the 2013 Jily Secret Santa. I hope you enjoy it! And please forgive my shoddy job of beta-reading; I checked through this whilst my parents/Santa put the presents out downstairs and stuff the turkey in the oven for tomorrow. I will come back and read through it properly later. Hope you all are having very merry festive periods, regardless of what you celebrate!

Disclaimer: Sadly, this is one Christmas wish I don't think I'll be granted.

"What were you talking to McGonagall about?"

"The meaning of life."

"Lily."

"James." She looked over at him and rolled her eyes. "Fine. It was nothing important; I just had to tell her that I'm staying here over Christmas."

James frowned. "Here as in Hogwarts?"

"No, here as in the moon. Of course here as in Hogwarts," she said. "Mum wrote to me this morning," she elaborated, at his questioning glance. "She and Petunia were invited to stay at Vernon's family's house in the south of France for Christmas. She didn't want to go if it meant leaving me alone, but I told her I've always wanted to experience a Hogwarts Christmas, and this is my last opportunity to, so...I said she should go for it. She'll have a nice time, and I'll be fine here. I just had to let McGonagall know. What?" she added, as James continued to frown at her.

"You weren't invited?" he asked.

Lily exhaled, slowing down as they walked along the corridor together. "I was," she said eventually. "But Petunia and I...we thought it would be best if I stayed away. Both of us would enjoy things more if we were apart—her in France, me here. Besides, I don't think I'm missing out on much. Vernon's family are horrible and think I'm at a school for incurably criminal children, or something so..."

"Your Mum lets them believe that?" James asked incredulously.

"Well, Petunia does," Lily amended. "I think Mum just tells them I'm at a boarding school for gifted children in Scotland, which isn't far from the truth. It's just how she is—Petunia, I mean. She doesn't really believe in witchcraft."

"That's ridiculous! You may as well not believe in Tuesdays," he replied.

"No, she believes in it. She knows it exists. She just doesn't believe in it as a...philosophy."

"That's still ridiculous."

"That's Petunia," Lily said brightly. "Come on," she added, tugging on his sleeve. "We're going to be late for Charms."

"Lily," James said seriously, as they carried on their way, "you know you could come and stay with me for the holidays?"

"Yeah, but you have Sirius staying with you!" Lily said. "I wouldn't want to get in the way."

"We could pitch you a tent in the garden," James replied. "Seriously though, you've seen the size of my house! We have seven bedrooms! You would definitely not get in the way."

"I don't mean physically," she said. "I just wouldn't want to intrude into your family's Christmas traditions. Especially not the first one after your Dad..." she trailed off and looked at him.

"Christmas is going to be different enough this year," James said lightly. "May as well have you along for the ride, too. Besides," he added, sounding more cheerful. "My Mum loves you. Possibly more than she loves me, which is a bit worrying, but there we go."

"She's met me once!" exclaimed Lily.

"You obviously make a very good first impression," James said, waving a hand. "And she's seen you loads on the Platform over the years. And I've told her enough about you."

"We're practically bosom buddies," Lily said drily.

"Lily, seriously," James said, coming to a halt and looking at her with such earnestness she had to look away. "Come back with me. Mum'll be there the entire time; you can have your own bedroom if that's what you're worried about—"

"I'm definitely not worried about that," she said shamelessly. "I just want to stay at Hogwarts, okay?"

"You really want to do that?" he asked.

She nodded. "I really want to do that."

"Then I guess you should do what you really want to do," James said.

Lily stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. "Let's go to Charms."

x

It wasn't like she had much experience with the topic, but Lily thought that Hogwarts was exceptionally quiet at Christmastime this year. In her House alone, only a fifth year boy and two second year girls, twins, had stayed at school, and by the day before Christmas Eve, three-quarters of her holiday homework had been completed. This probably wasn't, she realised, the most festive way to pass the time, but she couldn't bring herself to care; Christmas just didn't feel right, this year.

It wasn't because she was at Hogwarts. Her friends had all invited her to stay with them, but she'd turned them all down, genuinely wanting to experience a Hogwarts Christmas once before she left. It was because she wouldn't be with her Mum—or her sister—for the first time, and that made her feel terribly homesick: homesick for a time, rather than a place. And in an attempt to stave off the crushing loneliness, she found herself wandering around the deserted hallways of Hogwarts Castle, trying not to think about anything.

She was concentrating so hard on not thinking that she didn't realise she wasn't alone until someone tapped her on the shoulder. She shrieked and jumped what felt like a mile in the air, whipping out her wand, but the person was already several feet away, rubbing their shoulder.

"Did you mean to produce a Stinging Hex?" asked James, looking quite interested.

"What the hell were you sneaking up on me like that for?!" Lily snapped, her heart still racing.

"And a very Merry Christmas to you, too."

"It's not even Christmas Eve yet! What are you doing here? You're not even supposed to be here!"

"Truly, you are a bundle of festive joy."

"James Potter, I will hex you six ways from Sunday—"

"Alright, alright," James said, holding up his hands and laughing. "I thought I'd come and say hello."

"Hello," Lily said. "And also, you're not supposed to be here."

"I'm Head Boy, I can go anywhere I want," he replied.

"If you go home for the holidays, you're supposed to stay home," Lily said. "How did you even get here? The Hogwarts Express doesn't—"

"It wasn't that hard," James said. "I apparated to Hogsmeade, walked up the drive to the school gates, bumped into Hagrid who let me in, and then walked through the grounds to the castle. Some might even say it was quite easy."

"But how did you know I would be here and not in the Gryffindor Common Room?" Lily demanded, as James took her arm and started to lead her down the corridor. "There's so much of the castle; how did you find me when—"

"Lily, dear, I love you very much but please, don't you ever shut up and stop asking questions? Come along," he said firmly.

"Where are we going?" she asked at once.

James sighed heavily. "What did I just say? Oh, alright," he added, as she glowered. "Considering the circumstances, I think it's probably a reasonable question. We are going on a date. To Hogsmeade."

"But that's not allowed," Lily said at once.

"Oh yes it is," James said, steering her quite forcefully down a corridor.

"But it isn't," Lily said. "We're head students, we're not supposed to just up and leave. And you're not even supposed to be here in the first place!"

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," James said. He seemingly glanced at a piece of parchment, then hooked a sharp left towards the Transfiguration classrooms. "Come on."

"I didn't ask a question," Lily said, bemused. "And why are we going this way—oh!" James yanked her arm and they sailed passed the classrooms, dashing down a corridor before—

"Hello, Professor Dumbledore!"

"Ah, Mr Potter, good day to you. And Miss Evans, too! What a delightful surprise," Lily looked up at the twinkling eyes of the headmaster, and decided that it was best to suppose this was all a dream.

"Very much a surprise," James agreed, stuffing the piece of scrap parchment he had previously been glued to into a pocket. Lily tried to see what was written on it, but it was apparently blank. "How are you, Professor?"

"Very well, thank you, Mr Potter. I trust you both are too?" James poked Lily in the side, and she remembered how to nod.

"We are indeed, Professor," James said. "Though, sadly, Miss Evans here is rather bored. We were hoping we might go out for a bit; catch a breath of air down in Hogsmeade."

"What a delightful idea!" Dumbledore said. "And—though I may be rather biased in saying so—The Hog's Head does a rather nice line in mulled wine at this time of year. I can recommend it."

"Thank you, Sir," said James. "We'll be sure to stop by." A scornful noise from Lily made them both turn before the conversation could continue.

"I think," Lily hissed at James, "if you're going to break the rules, announcing to the headmaster that you're about to do so is probably not a good idea."

James considered this. "Are we breaking the rules, Professor? We're officially on school holidays, after all, and it's only Hogsmeade we're going to. And we're both of age!"

Professor Dumbledore considered this. "I don't believe you are," he said thoughtfully. "Indeed, whilst you might be breaking the spirit of the rules, I don't believe you're breaking the letter of the rules, per se. Though, of course, there is one way to get around any doubts you may have on that matter."

"What's that?"

Lily had caught on quicker. "Professor Dumbledore, may James and I please go to Hogsmeade this afternoon?"

"But of course!" Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Do enjoy yourselves!"

x

"This isn't the way to the village." Lily's teeth were chattering—they had summoned her cloak, but it still wasn't enough for all the snow and cold—and James had to strain to understand her.

"I know," he said, evenly. "I thought we could go on a walk."

"Any other time would be great," Lily said. "But right now I can't feel my extremities and my entire body hurts from shivering. Can't we find somewhere to be inside?"

"You can have my scarf and gloves if you want," James offered, for the third time.

Lily shook her head. "Then you'll be cold! Besides, if we just cut through the copse over there, we'll be yards from the Three Broomsticks and we can warm up in no time. Come on!"

"Lily?" James stopped so suddenly Lily almost slipped over.

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

She blinked once. "If I say yes, does that make me particularly naïve or...?"

"Can you come and put your arms around me?"

"Do you have frostbite or are you just hoping to get lucky?"

"I'm your boyfriend! I don't have to hope, I can get lucky every night if I want to!"

"I will end you."

"I've no doubt. Now, put your arms around me?"

"I must be particularly stupid."

"You must. Ready?"

"For what?" Lily asked, looping her arms around his neck.

"I'm going to apparate us. Ready?"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

x

"An alleyway? Filled with dustbins? And no more snow? You sure know how to show a girl a good time, Potter."

"That's what they all tell me," James said, gently extracting Lily's arms from around his neck. "You might want to take your cloak off."

"Are you kidding? It might not be snowing here, but it's still bloody cold. Where are we?" Lily walked the short distance to the end of the alleyway, before whirling around to face James. "Home," she said, her voice cracking. "I...I didn't recognise it in the dark for a moment."

James grinned. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Lily asked.

"Your house," James said, rolling his eyes. He took her hand and they stepped out onto the crescent, the road Lily knew so well from childhood. "I figured apparating straight onto your doorstep might alarm your neighbours, but I remembered about the existence of the alleyway from when I came to yours in the summer."

"That's—good," Lily said vaguely. She could easily see her house: unlike all her neighbours' houses which were lit up and had figures moving around indoors, her mother's house was dark and empty. Still, as she got closer, she noticed the holly wreath her mother had left up on the front door. She took a breath. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we can get in. I don't have my keys on me."

James stared at her for a moment, before bursting into laughter. "Are you mad? Are you a witch or are you not?! Use alohamora!"

"This is a muggle neighbourhood!" Lily hissed.

"One tiny charm," James replied. "That's all it is. No one is going to notice, they're all too busy with their families indoors. Come on, I'm freezing here."

"Alright, alright," Lily said, checking for any prying muggle eyes before reluctantly performing the charm. The front door opened with a click, and the two of them stepped inside. Lily picked up the pile of letters on the floor, and turned on the lights, looking around the familiar hallway of her mother's house. It still smelled the same.

"Come in here," she said, taking James's hand again and pulling him into the front room. She hit the switch in the wall socket, and the lights turned on, illuminating the room. There was no tree, but her mother had put tinsel garlands around the mantelpiece, and Christmas cards dotted every surface. For some reason, this made her eyes fill with tears. "Put the fire on," she said, turning away from James so he wouldn't see.

She stepped back out into the hallway and took a breath. She needed to calm down. It was only her house, after all: her old, familiar house. The kitchen had been cleaned, and everything was where it should be, but when she opened the fridge, the only food she found was a half mouldy pepper and a pat of butter. It made sense: her mother wouldn't be back until into the New Year, so there was no sense in letting food go to waste. It was still strange, though, to see the normally well-stocked cupboards bare. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly five—late enough, she reasoned, for an early evening tipple.

After some searching, she found a half empty bottle of sherry and a packet of biscuits, which she took back into the front room for James. "Look what I found," she said, pouring them each a glass of sherry.

"Who are all these people?" James said. He'd lit the fire, and was now reading all the Christmas cards.

"My Mum's friends," Lily said. "Family, neighbours, people she knows from work, people Dad used to know... After he died, everyone sort of rallied round my Mum. She's that sort of person, you know? They were impressed with her, carrying on with two not-quite teenage daughters, and so everyone went out of their way to help her. And she never forgets that. She tries to repay it, too. If ever someone's in a jam, or someone needs help, she's the first there. She'll bring round dinner, babysit the kids, come and clean the house—whatever they need. And people remember that, and they always send her cards at Christmas and on her birthday. Everyone loves her."

"Like you," James said, looking up at her with a smile. "Everyone loves you, and you're always the first to lend a hand in a crisis. Must be why you make such a good Head Girl."

"And there was me thinking it was because of my dashing good looks," Lily said, handing him a glass. "Cheers!"

"Cheers," James echoed, taking a drink. A moment later, he winced. "Good God."

Lily giggled. "Yeah, sherry's something of an acquired taste, I think."

"I'll say," James said. "And I've drunk some of the concoctions Sirius has come up with!"

"More fool you," laughed Lily, taking a seat on the sofa. "Where is Sirius, anyway?"

"On a date, I believe," replied James. "Remus is with his parents, and Peter's with his Mum."

"And you, when you're not here?"

"Spending Christmas with Mum. Sirius too. It'll be weird, though..."

"First Christmas without your Dad?"

"Yeah."

"Mum was always—" She paused and took a breath. "Mum always did Christmas really well, after Dad died. It made a difference to us, growing up, you know?"

James squeezed her hand. "I know," he said. "My Mum's gone all out this year. So many trees and decorations and...just everything festive. I wish you could see it."

"That's what my Mum did for me and Petunia," Lily said. "I wish you'd come on another year, when we had the tree up. We always got a real one, every year, and the smell of it just...it just was Christmas. And me and Petunia used to make paper chains for the kitchen, and, and..." A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Why didn't you just tell her you didn't want her to go to France?" James asked softly.

"Because," Lily said. "I didn't want her to worry about me. It's what she wanted to do, and I really didn't want to go there with the Dursleys. And I said I'd stay at Hogwarts even though you and Mary and all my other friends offered to let me stay with them because I didn't want them to see how upset it made me." She gave a shaky sort of laugh. "Fat lot of good that's done, eh?"

"I was worried about you," James admitted. "That's why I came up to the school, 'cause you weren't answering my letters!"

"I was!" Lily said indignantly. "I wrote to you yesterday, and three days ago."

"I know, and I was sending you two a day!" protested James.

"I didn't want to wear the owls out," Lily said.

James snorted. "Well, I know now how you've been feeling. You can't hide from me any more."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Lily asked.

"It's a statement of fact," James said. "So, why not come back with me? It might make you feel better. Then again," he added worriedly, "I hoped coming here would make you feel better, and all I seem to have done is make you cry. I don't want to do that again."

"I'm not crying," Lily said, wiping the evidence of tears from her cheeks. "I'm okay. And I have liked coming here. It was a nice surprise. But...I just really, really miss my Mum."

"Well, why don't we apparate over to see her?" James said, struck by the idea.

But Lily was shaking her head. "I don't know the exact address, and besides, there'd be no way you could explain that to Vernon's family, and Petunia'd kill me for all the awkward questions, and...it's a nice idea, but no. Just no."

James pulled a face. "It's a shame you can't floo them."

"I know, it is—wait a minute. I can phone them!" Lily exclaimed, sitting up in excitement. "It's like the Muggle version of the floo; you dial a number and then you get to speak to the person!" Her face fell again. "But I don't know the number."

"Will your Mum have written it down somewhere?" James asked.

"You're a genius!" Lily said, leaping to her feet. "C'mon. Let's look"

Twenty minutes of searching later (mainly on Lily's part, as James didn't really understand what he was looking for), Lily located the number to Vernon's family's house in France, and, fingers trembling slightly, dialled it from the phone in the hallway.

"I hope this is right," she muttered. There was an extremely long dial tone, and then—"It's ringing!"

James, perched on the stairs, gave her the thumbs up.

A few moments later, a familiar voice picked up the phone. "Dursley residence."

"Tuney!"

"Who's this?!" Even long distance, her sister managed to sound extremely suspicious.

"Tuney, it's me, Lily!"

"I thought you were at school!" Petunia said, seemingly in lieu of any standard greeting.

"I was," Lily said. "But I, er, popped home for the afternoon."

"You can do that?" Petunia asked, sounding almost curious.

"I can," Lily confirmed. "How are you?"

"I'm...good," Petunia said. "Did you want to speak to Mum?"

"If she's available," Lily said.

"I'll call her," Petunia said. There was a pause, in which Lily heard voices from various parts of the house, then Petunia came back on. "She's just coming."

"That's great," Lily said.

"It is," Petunia agreed. "So. Goodbye then."

"Bye," Lily said. "Wait! Merry Christmas, Tuney."

"Merry Christmas to you, too," Petunia said, and Lily didn't think she was imagining her sister's voice softening. "Er—here comes Mum."

During the phone changing hands, Lily gave James the thumbs up. He was, she was amused to see, engrossed in a copy of the Radio Times, which had been lying on the stairs.

"Lily!"

"Mum!" Her eyes filled with tears at the sound of her mother's voice gently enquiring how she was. "I'm—I'm better for hearing you," Lily said.

"Are you okay? I thought you were supposed to be at school?" her mother's voice was filled with concern that she wasn't where she was supposed to be, and Lily found great comfort in the normality of it all as she set about explaining the day's events.

"So James is staying with you at Hogwarts? That's nice," her mother said, when they were through.

"No, James is at home with his Mum. But because we're old enough to apparate now, he was able to come up to Hogsmeade—you know, the village by the school?—in just a blink of an eye to see me," Lily said.

"He didn't invite you to stay with him?" asked her Mum, sounding surprised.

"He did," Lily said. "But I just...I don't know. I felt like staying at school."

"Hmm," said her mother.

"What?" asked Lily.

"Lily Evans," her mother said, "I can always tell when you're being untruthful. Now, put that boy of yours on the phone."

"I...what?" Lily asked, sure she'd misheard.

"James. He's at home with you now, isn't he?" her Mum asked. Lily was so surprised she nodded, then remembered that her Mum couldn't see that.

"Er—yes, he is."

"Put him on then!"

"James?" He looked up, and Lily held out the phone towards him. "Mum wants to talk to you."

"To me? What about?!" James asked, looking confused but walking over to the phone anyway.

"The shipping forecast. I don't bloody know!" James pulled a face at her, and she handed him the phone. "Put this end to your ear and talk normally. It's just like the floo, but with no faces."

"Hello Mrs Evans. I am indeed, are you? Yes...yes, she is. I did. Mmm-hmm. Yes. No, I know."

After about five minutes of listening to James's almost monosyllablic responses to her mother, Lily gave up trying to imagine their conversation and retreated back into the front room. It still felt strange, being home so close to Christmas with no family and no tree and none of the rest of the million little things she and her mother and sister always did that made Christmas so special...but she definitely felt better, having left Hogwarts for the afternoon. Much as she loved the school, and as beautifully festive as it was, it just wasn't the same as spending Christmas surrounded by those she loved.

"Lily?" James poked his head around the door, breaking her out of her reverie. "Your Mum wants you, again."

"What did she talk to you about?" Lily asked.

"She invited you to mine for Christmas," James said, trying not to sound too smug. "Don't worry, she'll explain everything. I'll give you two some privacy."

"Mum, what are you doing?" Lily asked, bypassing him completely and picking the phone up straight away.

"Now you listen to me, Miss Evans," her mother said, sternly. "I don't appreciate being lied to, and you lied to me about it being fine with staying at school! Your James told me all about you moping and being miserable and whatnot, so we've come up with a plan. I know you only did it with my best interests at heart, but your punishment is to do what I say, which is in your best interests, understand?"

"I don't mope," Lily managed in response.

"You do. Now, listen. You're going to go back to school, pack up your stuff, and spend Christmas at James's house, okay? Then I'm going to come back early—I can get a ferry home on the 30th, I think—and we'll have New Years' together at our place. How's that sound?"

"I...you...you're my mother! And you're basically packing me off to my boyfriend's for Christmas! Aren't you supposed to be against that sort of thing?" Lily stuttered.

"Lily dear, you're an adult; you can do what you want. Besides, his mother'll be there, and I'm sure you're being sensible about making sure you're having safe, enjoyable sex—"

Lily groaned and cut her off. "Please don't talk to me about sex like that, Mum!"

"Sex should be enjoyable!" Lily's mother said. "If you're not enjoying it, there's definitely something going wrong—alright, alright!" She laughed, as Lily was now making noises of horror down the phone. "But what I'm against, seeing as you asked, is you being sad on Christmas. I know being with James will make you happy, so I want you to do that, okay?"

Lily sniffed. "Okay," she said.

"And I will write to James's mother and thank her...and maybe I'll get her a bottle of wine, or something, from France? Do magical people have wine?"

"They definitely do," Lily said. "But you don't have to do that; I can thank her myself."

"Of course, I know you will," her mother said. "But I want to thank her for looking after my little girl."

"I'm not your little girl anymore, I'm an adult!"

"You'll always be my little girl to me," her mother said.

"I love you, Mummy."

"I love you, too. Be good! And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!"

x

"Mum says dinner's in fifteen minutes."

Lily got up off the bed and walked over to where James was standing in the doorway. "Sounds good, I'm starving."

"Well, arguing with McGonagall will give you an appetite. I should know."

"We weren't arguing! We were just...discussing my Christmas arrangements. And my short notice alteration of them. But I'm an adult; she's fine with it. It's not like I need my Mum's permission to be here—which she's given, anyway. And besides—"

"Lily, I was joking," James said. "Well, not about the dinner bit. But the other stuff...I know. It's okay. And, for the record, I'm really glad your Mum made you come here for Christmas."

Lily looped her arm through his and they walked down the corridors of James's house, towards the dining room. "You are?" she asked, smiling up at him.

"Sure," he replied. "Because...you know..." He slowed to a stop at the top of the stairs, and began fidgeting slightly. "Look, I knew you weren't happy about staying in school—I've known it from the start. And of course, I want you to be happy—of course I do. But I didn't have entirely selfless reasons in inviting you here."

"You didn't?"

James shook his head. "It's the first Christmas without Dad, and however much Mum tries...it's just not going to be right. So I kind of wanted you here to make me feel better." He squirmed.

"Yeah, that makes you a terrible person," Lily said. "I'm packing my bags to leave again right now."

He pulled a face. "I just didn't want you thinking I was, you know, entirely altruistic."

"Oh, I knew that already. It's a good job I love you anyway," Lily said lightly.

"It is indeed—wait, what?! Did you just say..."

"That I love you? Yes. I do. I love you," Lily said. She tried to play it cool, but couldn't stop the grin that was spreading across her face.

James cheered. "She loves me!" he crowed, to no one in particular. "And I love you, too, of course," he added hastily.

"Oh I know," Lily said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry freaking Christmas indeed," James said, leaning down to kiss her.

And they only stopped when Sirius, appearing on the landing for dinner, threatened to push them down the stairs if they didn't stop being so disgusting. All in all, Lily thought, as she made her way downstairs, it was a pretty alright Christmas after all.