Jaba the Slut
A Star Wars Story
It was a dark and stormy night on Tatooine. The Millenium Falcon broke down just short of Jaba's sand-castle. "Fuck me upside-down and piss down my spine!" Han Solo bumped his head on a pipe while fixing his shitty ships plumbing. Apparently Chebacca has lodged and extra-jumbo turd down the futuristic toilet. "This'll make sure no poop, be it long or thicc, clogs my ship again. A state of the art sink-disposal jury rigged into the toilets inner workings. Beautiful." Bubbling noises filled the air as Chewy took a fat rip off of an x-wing shaped bong. "Chewy!" shouted Solo, "Don't smoke all of my Dark Side Kush, that shit is 20 space shekels a G and you always fucking bogart it." Chewbacca gave a defiant call as he exhaled the fattest rip of the dankest kush in the entire known universe.
Jaba was schlicking his tail back and forth pondering when Solo and that hairy son of a bitch were going to show up with his jewish currency. "Lee gaga bobo gaboo!" The obese senteint sack of flesh rammed his fist right up Laies pussyhole. "Owwiee!" she snorrted a quick whiff of white gold from her coke nail to dull the senses. Boba fett was laughing under his trash can helmet and simotaniously punching his balls trying to get off. "I'll go fetch him for a price!" Jaba threw a bag of credit shits that slammed in Fetts face with a cartoony comic sound *SLAP!*
Jaba the Hutt's phone was vibrating, but he couldn't find it. "Where the FUCK is my space phone?" he dug it out of his crusty ass hole. The text read: "Yo Jabba my nigga, I ran out of that space kush, Chewy's ass smoked it all." His eyes bulged out the sockets an entire foot and tears ran down his wrinkles. "Noooo, Waaah, Ga booga no baga!" Exclaimed the slug. He sent all of his bounty hunters after him, and pounded Princess Laiehs Kessel Run non stop while they were out.
Just then, Chewbacca awoke from his munchies coma to a slough of bounty hunters about to shoot him in the head. "Uhhhrraaaaah!" he brutally massacred them all, chopped them up and put them in the toilet disposal. "Chewy, what was that noise?" Han asked "Raaahihih huhhhaha." "Alright, well keep an eye out, its dark out there, you never know who is looking."
Jaba eagerly rummaged through his cum-stained mail. He loved his mail run, and ordered sex toys from Amazon Prime 2 day delivery. As he was cutting open the box with his tiny nail, it blew up in his face. Blood peppered the walls and misted in the air. A 3 foot gape appeared where his face used to be. Laieh fingered herself furiously while looking into the camera and said "Vote for Donald Trump in the upcoming election."