A/N: This is a sort-of-sequel to The Rollercoaster, although it doesn't focus only on Jerza interaction.

Disclaimer about the portrayal of smoking in this fic: I have no problem whatsoever with smokers. This chapter is, in no way, meant to antagonize them or lecture anybody, which I tried to make clear in my writing here. The smoking is a mere plot device in this and the character's reactions are what I thought fit their canon personalities (Erza self-righteously against, Juvia legitimately concerned and the others basically following Erza's lead because getting in her way is suicide). Obviously, I am not doing the opposite either by encouraging people to smoke – consider me completely neutral here. I will admit I don't smoke myself for personal reasons but I'm not egging on the people who do. I am nobody's mother.

Phew, long disclaimer for a comedy fic, hmm?

Well, I hope you enjoy! Bella out!

*drops the microphone*

Chapter 1/2

"Well, I'm off," Gray announced one afternoon, getting up from the table where he sat with Cana and Juvia at the guild.

"Already? It's still early," Cana asked.

"Gray-sama doesn't enjoy the company?" Juvia asked, dejected.

He shook his head. "It's nothing like that. I've just got something to do at home. I'll be back later," he said. "See you guys then."

Juvia pouted as she watched her Gray-sama walking away, still with a feeling that something was off. Maybe he was lying and he did want to get away from her…

"Oh, is Gray already gone?" Mirajane asked, approaching the table with a full tankard to exchange Cana's empty one for.

"He said he had 'something to do at home'," the guild's number-one-drinker indicated.

"Again?" Mira asked, looking suspicious. "He's been slipping out an awful lot in the past few months to do some 'undetermined something', hasn't he? Did you notice how he always comes back with his hair wet like he's just taken a shower?"

Cana snorted. "Don't tell me you think he's repeatedly going home to take cold showers," she said. "My, has our good old Gray developed into a constant horn-dog? Might you be slipping something into his drinks, Juvia?" she said, elbowing the water mage, who blushed red from head to toe.

"N-no… of course Juvia hasn't!" she stammered. She'd learned her lesson after last time.

"I don't think that's what the case is about," Mira stated.

"What case are you referring to?" a voice came from behind Mira.

She turned around and found Erza standing there. "We were just commenting on Gray's sudden absences in the past few months. Have you noticed them?"

"Yes, I did notice a pattern," the redhead informed them. "He's been acting odd on jobs too. He gets very fidgety when they run long. And he always books himself a single room now – he says it is because of Natsu's snoring but I find it odd that it's just started to bother him now after so long."

Mira nodded. "You have a point there. That and the constant showering… he's up to something."

"I still vote on the boner-induced cold showers," Cana said, much to their distaste. "Well, that or a bunch of rendezvous with a girl."

Juvia's eyes widened as she let out a loud, shrill sound of pain.

"Cana!" Mira scolded, immediately rushing to place a supportive hand on the water mage's shoulder. "There, there, Juvia, I'm sure it's nothing like that," she assured her before turning to the others. "I've actually got a theory of my own… it's not a very positive one, but well…"

"What is it?" Erza asked.

Mira sighed. "Well… there are certain… conditions – mental conditions – that can lead a person to doing random things compulsively. Like showering, for instance. They can be triggered by traumatizing events and… well, the matter with Tartarus and his father would certainly classify as one."

Cana frowned. "You think he's OCD now? That's messed up."

Juvia gasped. "Gray-sama…" she whispered.

"He's certainly been through a great deal lately," Erza agreed. "We shouldn't jump to conclusions but it's something to keep an eye out for."

Mira sighed. "Whatever it is, I hope we can help him."

Gray looked over his shoulder the entire way home to make sure he wasn't being followed and once he got there, he looked out through his door's peephole for a good five minutes before feeling confident enough that no one was spying outside.

He wasn't being paranoid! No, but he was aware of the consequences of the act he was about to commit. All it took was one person seeing it… or smelling it – word would spread like wildfire and it was only a matter of time before it reached everyone's ears. Including Erza's… yeah, she was definitely the last person he wanted to know about his… issue. She'd kill him for it. No doubt. That was why he had a system.

A system he was just about to put into practice.

As such, he made his way to his bathroom and went straight for the window, opening it. It was a big window, rather awkwardly-placed in a room that should cater to privacy, but at least it led straight into what had to be the dingiest alley in town. No one in their right minds would be caught dead in there, which made said window perfect for the purpose he had in mind.

He sat on the ledge, legs dangling out and took a breath. By then, he was down to his underwear, which served his purpose. "Ice-make: Wall," he said, creating a barrier completely blocking him from the inside of his apartment like a hermetic seal. Perfect.

Finally, with the system in place, he reached into the fake flower pot resting on the window ledge. It had a fake bottom, which was perfect to hide something small in it… such as the pack of cigarettes he reached for.

"Come to Daddy," he said, lighting one with the matchbook he found next to it. One puff and… ah, he was in heaven. He held the burning cigarette in front of his eyes and gave it a look that should be only reserved for a lover. "I've been yearning for you all afternoon."

It wasn't a new habit – smoking. He used to do it up until a few years before… well, a year and a few months from his point of view. It hadn't been until a few weeks after Team Natsu had been formed that he'd quit… and not by choice.

The five of them had been on a job that involved a rather tiring mountain climb. Unfortunately, smoking rather limited one's stamina and Erza hadn't been happy about that.

"It's that filthy habit of yours that's slowing is down," she'd declared midway through the climb. "That's it, Gray. You're quitting."

Of course, he hadn't been happy about it. "Dream on. You're not my mother," he'd replied.

He could still remember the look on Erza's face – it was positively terrifying. "You can do it the easy way or the hard way. And trust me, the hard way will be painful."

Right then and there, he'd gulped and decided to try the easy way… only to fail spectacularly and ending up going through the hard way. Painful was an euphemism at best. At the end, he was just too scared and sore not to quit. Erza had made a point of going on detail about what she'd do to him if he fell off the wagon and he'd been completely sure he'd never have the guts to do so…

… until Tartarus. He didn't even like thinking of it. The whole business with his father… it was enough to push someone to the bottle but since didn't have Cana's liver, he'd gone back to smoking instead. It didn't do miracles but it could take the edge off. He guessed he'd gone back to his old crutch through the bad times… and of course, now the blessed nicotine had done its job at getting him hooked, as much as he hated to admit it. It didn't matter, though – he'd sort it out eventually and until he did, he'd just have to keep leaning on 'the system'.

It wasn't that hard, really. He just had to make sure to never smoke in front of anyone, always be naked (which wasn't even a chore to him) so the smell wouldn't get to his clothes and do it outside so it wouldn't get in his house either, since Juvia did have a habit of wandering into it every once in a while. Cigarettes had to be hidden and never bought within Magnolia – he always made sure to sneak a few packs (more like a carton or two) during out of town on jobs. Then, he'd make a point of mailing it home rather than taking it himself because he wouldn't want to risk Natsu sniffing them out in his luggage. Also because of Natsu's nose, he always had to thoroughly shower and brush his teeth right after enjoying a smoke – he'd probably spent almost as much on toothpaste and body and mouth wash as on cigarettes since the return of his habit.

Okay, maybe not. Smoking was an expensive habit.

Still, the system was working. Over a year had passed and no one had discovered. Erza was probably not even paying attention anymore – with Jellal constantly at the guild now, she had other things in her mind – and although he wouldn't use that as an argument to lax 'the system', it didn't put him in a hurry to quit. The last time had been hard because Erza had made him do it so fast – he'd go with doing it slowly this time, easing himself off the habit at his own pace. Not just yet… no, he still needed to work on the plan. And… stuff.

Maybe he'd start working on quitting at the year-and-a-half mark. Eighteen months. That was a nice, round number. Or maybe not – eighteen... three times six… 666… evil… demons… Tartarus…

Widening his eyes, he lit another cigarette to replace the one he'd just finished. No, eighteen was bad. Bad idea. Maybe twenty months instead… well, from twenty months to two years went a short way. Two years of smoking didn't sound too bad…

Yes, he'd start thinking of quitting then… maybe.

It had seemed like a pretty good deal. She was short in cash and her landlady needed a favor – if she did that favor for her, her rent would be sliced to half that month and that much she could afford, actually leaving herself some spending money.

Still, it would have probably been a good idea for her to ask what the favor was before accepting it with tears in her eyes. And she should have probably gone to Carla or Pantherlily before Happy when she concluded she could use a pair of wings for the job because, before she knew it, he and Natsu had completely taken over her 'favor' under the guise of 'helping'.

"This is ridiculous," Lucy declared from their hiding place inside a dumpster.

"Shhh!" Natsu scolded her. "You'll scare it away."

She groaned. Scare what away? A cat. Not an exceed, an actual cat – a stray one who'd been looming around her building and had apparently stolen some kind of heirloom necklace from her landlady, who wanted it back. That was her job… before Natsu and Happy hijacked it.

"You know what, guys? I think I can handle this on my own," she said. After all, the cat, distinctively identified by the moon-shaped black spot on its white bottom, was just at the end of the alley, apparently hitting on some other cat. She just had to wait for it to be done and go back to its hiding place where, hopefully, she'd find the necklace.

"Don't be silly, Luce. Who'd be better at catching a cat than another cat?" Natsu said, looking at her like she was retarded.

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't know… a dog? That's what they do, isn't it?"

"Dogs are overrated," Happy commented. "They don't have wings."

"Neither do regular cats!"

But, suddenly, nobody was paying attention to her as the cat got on the move. "Look, it's climbing up the building! Let's follow it!"

Happy immediately sprouted the aforementioned wings and got a hold of the back of Natsu's vest, lifting him into the air.

"Hey!" Lucy shouted as they started to fly away after the cat. "What about me?!"

"Don't worry, Lucy, we'll get you the cat!"

"I don't want the cat! I want the necklace!"

"We'll get that too!" Natsu shouted back as they flew away. The cat moved swiftly, jumping from building to building apparently unaware that he was being followed from the air. "Hurry, Happy. This guy is fast!"

"Aye, sir!" Happy agreed, speeding up a little. "Hey, Natsu, do you think we should have brought Lucy along? It's her job."

"Nah. You couldn't carry the both of us," the Dragon Slayer said. "Besides, she's too loud for ninja work. We'll get her the cat anyway."

"It's the necklace she wants, Natsu, not the cat," Happy reminded him. "Speaking of which, I can't see it anymore."

"Don't worry, I can smell it if we get a little closer to the surface. I'll guide you," Natsu said.

It took them a few minutes of flying around to finally spot the cat again, comfortably settled in an abandoned cardboard box at a top of a building.

"There you are, you little thief," Natsu said after Happy landed them on top of the building. He approached the cat with narrowed eyes, a flame on his hand as he tried to chase it away from the box. "Now scram while get Lucy's landlady's necklace back."

But the cat didn't move. It just sat on its box – over what seemed to be a pillow of loot, they could see, from jewelry to snow globes, as long as it was sparkly – immobile as he looked at Natsu defiantly, silently daring him to approach.

"What the hell?" Natsu mumbled. "You looking for a fight, klepto?"

It just stared back, daring as ever, which only served to anger Natsu further.

"Happy what's up with this punk? Is he crazy? I'm like ten times bigger than him!"

Finally, the cat meowed, although said 'meow' was directed to Happy rather than Natsu. The blue cat's eyes widened

"What is it? What did he say?"

Happy gulped. "He said he wants me to translate but… er, I don't think you need to hear it, Natsu. He's just looking for a fight," he told his best friend. Natsu did not seem satisfied, though, and kept waiting. Finally, Happy sighed. "He said… 'bring it… bitch'."

And, just like that, Natsu was all fired up. "Well, now you're gonna get it, bastard," he screamed at the cat before printing towards it with a flaming fist. "Happy, look for the necklace. I'm gonna teach this bastard a less… oooouuuuuuuuch!" he screamed as the cat leapt through the air and launched itself, claws first, into his face.

"Natsu!" Happy shouted.

"Just look for the necklace, Happy!" Natsu barked as he tried to keep the feline from tearing his face off.

Happy obeyed, unwilling to let his best friend's sacrifice become useless. He dug through the pile of loot in search for the necklace… only to find something like a dozen different ones. "Natsu, there's so many of them! I don't know which one Lucy is looking for!"

"Who cares? Tak'em all!" Natsu yelled, taking step after step back as he just barely managed to hold the squirming cat millimeters away from his face. "You stupid cat! We just want the necklace you stole!"

But the beastly cat kept aiming its claws at him, more and more fiercely. Natsu kept stumbling back while keeping it away… until his foot hit a low obstacle and he found himself losing his balance backwards… and then over the ledge… and then down from the building into the alley beneath.

"Happy!" he managed to scream before the freefall started. The enemy cat was startled too and stopped struggling. Like the coward it was, it scratched Natsu on the hands and managed to free itself, impossibly jumping off him and back onto the building.

As he plunged upside down onto the ground, everything seemed to go on slow motion. For a moment there, something caught his eye: light reflecting on something… ice. And, sitting on a window ledge in front of it, Gray, frozen in disbelief as he saw the whole thing happening like he was watching a lacrima movie. What was he doing there? And what the hell was hanging from his mouth? Was that…?

His fall came to an abrupt stop as Happy caught his foot mid-flight. "I've got you, Natsu!" the blue cat declared, a lot of bling hanging from his neck.

"I knew I could count on you, buddy!" Natsu replied, grinning wildly, Gray's presence having completely slipped his mind.

Happy, however… "Gray? What are you doing here?!"

"Shit," the ice-mage cursed.

And so, Natsu was reminded of the scene he'd just witnessed. Gray Fullbuster… smoking. "Hey! What do you think you're doing popsicle?!"

"Shit," he cursed again.

"I'm telling Erza! Just you wait! She'll lay it on you and I'll get to watch!"

"Goddamnit, Natsu!"

"Say your prayers, pervert!" he shouted victoriously. "To the guild, Happy!"

"I can't carry you that far! The Jewelry is too heavy!" Happy replied, raising their altitude with difficulty.

"Fine. First to Lucy, then to the Guild," Natsu agreed, narrowing his eyes at Gray, still upside down. "Guess you'll live five minutes longer."

Gray gulped.

"Here's your cake," Mira said with a smile, placing the plate containing it in front of Erza, whose eyes shone with joy. Still smiling, the white-haired woman turned to Jellal, who was sitting opposite from the redhead at the table, looking over a massive pile of paperwork. "Is there anything I can get you too, Jellal?"

He looked up and shook his head. "No, thank you, Mira. Not until I finish this, at least."

Mira sighed. "Shame on the Master, dumping the bulk of his paperwork on you. He must be so proud of himself."

"It's okay. I don't mind," Jellal assured her. It was only fair he helped around. He was, after all, the newest member of the guild and his very freedom had depended on him being accepted by it. So, really, filling paperwork for the Master was the least he could do, especially when he was still only partially mobile due to his injuries, which left him unable to take regular jobs and depending on the temporary free room and board Makarov had offered in return for his inside knowledge as a former councilman. "It's a way to make me feel useful while I'm still not allowed to take regular jobs."

"Well, whenever you feel like you can handle them and your doctors agree, don't let the Master try to convince you otherwise," Mira warned him. "He'll keep you on paperwork duty forever if he thinks he can get away with it. Laxus tells me he's getting far too comfortable in this paperwork vacation of his. Oh, if you knew the trouble he caused in the Cabaret by the train station… he's got far too much free time now," she informed him as she collected some abandoned plates and mugs from the nearest table.

The mention of the 'Cabaret near the train station', which he didn't even know existed up until then, had him blushing and completely blanking out on what to say. He was still mildly flustered when the sound that came out of Erza's mouth upon her first bite of the cake reached his ears. All of a sudden, he forgot everything about the cabaret. The sound… it was so… pleasured it caused goosebumps on his skin. He forced himself to look back down at the paperwork to hide his blush.

Really, he should be used to it by now since Erza had sat by his side enjoying cake while he did his paperwork every day that she was physically present at the guild for the past month and a half but, for the life of him, he couldn't. Stoic as she was, the little sound of satisfaction never failed to leave her lips and there he'd sit, tense as hell, imagining other circumstances in which said sound might apply. Bad Jellal. He had no right to imagine such things. They might be guild mates now and their friendship might be stronger than ever and he may have even already admitted that he loved her but that leap… that precious leap into full-blown romance… it was yet to be taken. He couldn't be fantasizing about her before getting the guts to ask her out. That wasn't fair to her!

When was he going to ask her out? Well, probably around the time when he'd be able to get the words to come out of his mouth. And he wanted them out – he'd spent a month convincing himself that it was okay to slowly start courting her despite what he'd done because that was what she wanted and her happiness was above everything else in his world. But then, by the time he'd succeeded in convincing himself – around Valentine's day when Erza had gifted him enough chocolate to put him in a diabetic coma (an event only avoided because she'd ended up eating a fair amount of it herself) –, something would always happen to stop him: he'd freeze, unable to say the words, or he wouldn't and something or someone else would stop him… he was starting to get the feeling that maybe the universe itself didn't want it to happen. Maybe his fate was to just sit with her day after day, watching her eat cake without being able to make a move.

"Mira, how much of this is there still left at the freezer?" Erza asked, taking a second bite of the cake in question, oblivious to the thoughts in his mind.

"Enough for a week and a half, maybe," Mira said. "You might want to consider starting rationing it… You know, having one piece every other day rather than every single day. You can still have my strawberry cake whenever you want. I know it's not the same, but well…"

Erza pouted, looking at her cake longingly.

It wasn't just any other strawberry cake. Oh, no, it wasn't, Jellal thought. It was one of three cakes especially bought from some bakery with a year-and-a-half-long waiting list and a boatload of awards, which Mira had ordered just because she could with the money from the Grand Magic Games. After the Guild's year-long disbandment, everyone had forgotten about them up until the delivery, coincidentally on the very day that just happened to be Mystogan's tenth anniversary as an S-class mage - result: despite his masked counterpart being in a completely different dimension, the guild had decided to party hard and stuff themselves with super-expensive cake in his stead (according to Lucy, they had cost more than her monthly rent and were worth every penny, as far as Erza was concerned).

Unfortunately, one of the three cakes had met its end too soon when Natsu caused a fight that culminated on Gajeel being sent flying into said cake. Jellal could still remember the consequences of it.

It had been the day he'd left the hospital, still partially wheelchair-bound, and even before he'd been able to reach the guild and all its madness, the madness reached him in the form of Natsu falling at his feet after flying (forcibly) several yards from the guild. Erza had stepped into the scene almost immediately, clad in purgatory armor and swearing revenge on Natsu. Back then, he'd had no idea that Strawberry Cake in general was the number one contender for his title as Erza's most beloved.

"It was innocent!" she'd shouted and, for a moment, Jellal had been certain the Dragon Slayer had done something appalling like feeding a newborn kitten to a wood chipper. But no – it had been no such thing. He'd smashed Erza's beloved cake. And for that, he'd be punished.

It had been equal parts terrifying and erotic watching the woman he loved beating up one of her friends (a friend who'd defeated him once, no less) over cake of all things, even if he'd been very set on fighting his feelings at the time… but the erotic trait of the matter had quickly faded when Gajeel had shown up, covered in cake, and the redhead had looked, for a single second, like she was considering eating it off him. There were no words to describe how thankful he'd been to Levy McGarden when she'd 'accidentally' used Solid Script: Water to wash the tempting cake off the Iron Dragon Slayer.

While heartbroken by the loss of her 'heavenly cake', the promise that any and all leftovers from the other two would be saved up for her alone was enough to get her out of her funk. And, surely, there were a lot of leftovers because everyone had been too freaked out to eat more than a tiny slice, if anything at all, because they didn't want Erza's wrath re-ignited.

But now, the leftovers were running out and Erza was looking at the cake mournfully all over again. He couldn't stand it. There was something… sacred about Erza's mood when she had strawberry cake, especially that sort of strawberry cake. It being fouled by disappointment was unacceptable.

"It's okay. I'm sure it won't be the last time you'll ever get one of those cakes," he assured her. In fact, Mira had told him there would be another one for her birthday in three weeks but he couldn't just up and say it. "It wouldn't be so special if you ate it every day, would it?"

She looked at him, still pouting a little. "I suppose so…"

"Absence will make your heart grow founder?" He would know after the seven years he'd spent wondering if she was really dead.

"My fondness for this recipe of strawberry cake couldn't possibly grow any larger," she replied, the pout still present.

"Then maybe you should enjoy the time you have left with it. Isn't mourning the end in advance ruining the little time you have left together?" he suggested before frowning to himself. They were still talking about cake, right?

The pout started to slip. "That is a reasonable point," she admitted out loud before a look of determination reached her face, eyes shining. "I shall enjoy every bite that is left of this cake to the fullest," she vowed, illustrating said vow by forking another bit of cake into her mouth.

That time, there was no sound (that was reserved for that first bite when the recollection of the magnificent taste in her mind was initially confronted with the much better reality) but the look of delight on her face almost had him drooling. Did he have a thing for watching her eat cake? That sounded… bad. But not nearly as bad as the passing thought that crossed his mind, featuring her eating cake off his scantily clad body.

His eyes widened. You sick, sick pervert! What is wrong with you? This is Erza you're thinking of! She is, by no means kinky!

Little did he know…

"What's wrong?" Erza asked. "You're very red all of a sudden." Partially lifting herself off the chair she sat on, she reached across the table to feel his forehead and her touch did no favors to his current situation. "You're not running a fever…"

"Don't worry. It's nothing," he dismissed her worries, looking away.

He needed to cease having those thoughts. He blamed it on the frustration of finally being willing to express his feelings and nonetheless being constantly made unable to. He needed to get it over with soon. No, not soon. Now.

Just open your mouth and ask her on a date, he demanded of himself. Stop being a coward. You love Erza, Erza loves you – being together should be a given, so grow a pair!

So, taking a breath, he obeyed and spoke. "I… I was actually thinking… I mean, I wondered if you'd like to maybe…"

"Erza!" they heard Natsu calling at a distance.

Jellal nearly let out a sound of despair as Fire Dragon Slayer came running towards their table, Lucy and Happy following shortly behind. A curse. It was a curse. A deserved one, no less. But Erza… no, she most certainly did not deserve a curse. He'd fight it! If it was the last thing he did, he would… just as soon as he regained his courage, that was.

"Erza, you've got to come! He's doing it again!" Natsu said frantically.

"Who's doing what again?"

"Gray! He's smoking!"

It came as a surprise to Jellal that Gray even smoked. Of course, said surprised was overshadowed by Erza's ensuing reaction.

Her eyes widened in pure rage and her nostrils flared like she was about to breathe fire through then. The fury was such that she did the unthinkable. With a swift moment, she stabbed her fork though her beloved cake, effectively mutilating it, breaking the plate it rested on in half and leaving the fork sticking upright from the surface of the table.

Jellal could swear her eyes were blazing like lava – it felt like he was looking right at a demon from Zeref's book. And, God, did it feel so hot.

She rose from her bench slowly and her voice was positively murderous when she spoke. "Take me to him."

In hindsight, he should have just frozen Natsu into oblivion but the shock had been too much. That left only one other option: escape.

He packed as fast as he could, not even caring what went into the suitcase. It wasn't like he kept his clothing on very long, anyway. He just needed to get out of there and stay away until the dust settled. His life might depend on it.

He almost set fire to the whole bag once, so frantically he was smoking. He blamed it on the panic and, by extension, on Erza.

He ran out of his apartment building with his shirt already halfway open and dashed towards the train station while dragging his suitcase behind him, not even caring that there were sleeves and pant-legs sticking through the edges of it. He was too busy looking all around for Erza's approaching shape. She was going to kill him or at the very least maim him. He needed to beat her out of town if he wanted a chance to escape her wrath… Maybe if he came back after having kicked the habit, she would spare him from it. Shit… that was going to suck.

But even with that thought on his mind, he smoked a quarter of a pack while rushing to the station, which took a decent amount of effort because it started raining buckets about halfway there.

"I need a ticket," he told the attendant, still soaking wet.

"What is your destination?"

"Anywhere, man! Get me on the next train leaving this place. Just do it fast!" he said, reaching into his pack for yet another cigarette.

"Sir, you can't smoke in here," the attendant said.

"No. You really can't," he heard said behind him.

He froze before even turning around. Erza. Slowly, he moved to face her. She wasn't alone. Those fucking traitors, Natsu and Happy, were with her, as well as Lucy, who was frowning at him too. "H-hey," he awkwardly said, the cigarette sting dangling from his mouth.

Unceremoniously, Erza pulled it out and broke it in half in a way that suggested his spine might be next. "Going somewhere?" she asked coyly.

"Oh, you know… just… around," he rambled, surprised she hadn't started yelling yet.

"And you need a train ticket to 'get around'?" Lucy asked. Natsu nodded, an evil glint in his eyes.

"I thought I might… visit a few neighboring towns in the process," he mumbled.

"And stink'em up with those smoking sticks of yours?" Natsu taunted him.

It annoyed him to no end. "Go buy a dictionary, you fire-breathing moron! They're called cigarettes!" he replied.

Saying that was a mistake. A big one. "Yes, you would know, wouldn't you?" Erza commented, her eyes narrowed to slits. He could practically see the fire burning behind her eyelids.

"Hmm, actually, most people would know that, not just Gray because he smokes," Happy commented in the background.

But he was ignored. The atmosphere in that station was so heavy he felt like gravity might turn him into a pancake. The air felt as if it was rarefying, making it hard to breathe. He needed to leave. God, he needed to leave and have himself a smoke. Towards his left, a train was just starting to leave the platform and he glanced at it, wondering if he might be able to get in and make a run for it if he ran fast enough.

"Don't bother," Erza told him, as if reading his mind. "You won't stay conscious long enough."

"What?"

But, before another word could be said, he saw an armor-clad fist making its way to his face and that was basically the last thing he saw before everything became black.

To be continued...