I usually try to write my Pokémon fic so that it's compatible with the original episodes as well as the English dub, but I find Daisy's dub personality just too much fun to work with....

The Dire Dilemma of Daisy

A Handymanshipping Tale

by ShinyAeon

Okay, like, first of all, I'm one of the Sensational Sisters, right? A local celebrity. We've got our own fan club and everything.

Second, I'm an up-and-coming actress. The High-Speed Hannah thing was direct-to-video, but it got some good reviews online and one of them called me a "spitfire of a newcomer." (Ha, me, from a water gym, called a spitfire...proves how good an actress I am, doesn't it?)

And third, I'm gorgeous. Which I know because even my sisters think so, and Lily can be brutally honest when she wants to. Violet, too. (All right, me three.) But even people I don't know say so. Even people who don't LIKE me say so. So it must be true, right? All the Sensational Sisters are beautiful (even Misty, if she ever gets out of her tomboy phase, I mean, just look at those publicity stills from our Mermaid show already).

My problem? Glad you asked. I'm in love with...a dork.

Yes, it's true. Sensational Sister Daisy is in love with a total geek-boy. He's not even a computer geek. He's like, this "Pokémon Watcher" guy, working for Professor Oak in Pallet Town....

I know, I KNOW. How Cordelia-and-Xander of me, huh? It kinda started the same way, too...he used to travel with my little sister, and after she took over the gym, he'd come visit her sometimes. And he'd fix stuff for us if I asked. And so one day I let him take me out, as a reward. (Okay, right, Cordelia never did that with Xander. Don't be so technical, geez.) And then Team Rocket tried to steal one of our Lovedisc, and me and Misty and Tracey went after them—

Huh? Oh, yeah—his name's Tracey.

Hey! It's a perfectly legitimate boy's name!

Could you, like, stop laughing? You're distracting me from my tale of woe.

Anyway, the three of us took off to rescue it, and we did! I like, drove in a car chase and I won, it was so extreme. Then we used our our other Lovedisc to find the missing one, and followed this pair of Rockets to their secret island base—no, I'm not making this up, I swear. We got captured and put in a cage and everything, and Tracey used his headband and Misty's belt to snag this remote control that Bud and Cassidy dropped, and used it to make the little Pacman-bot thing smash us out. It was just SO Charlie's Angels, you know? Except for Tracey being a boy.

Excuse me! It is TOO. It was a boy's name way before it was a girl's, shows how much you know!

Oh, just...drink your frappuccino.

Anyway...

So, like, a few weeks later when we were finally doing the water ballet, when the Lovedisc were doing their thing, I just remember thinking how cute he looked and everything. (Oh, I just wish I could have gotten him into that Prince costume, he'd look ALL kinds of good in it.) And then in the lobby I was standing behind him when he was taking souvenir photos of our guests, he was, you know, bent over with his head under the flap and all...

What? Just because he's a dork doesn't mean he can't have a nice butt, does it?

Even if you can't usually see it. He wears these ridiculous baggy shorts all the time, and this huge T-shirt that makes him look like he's hiding fat, but he totally isn't. I've seen him with the shirt off.

Not like that! I've seen him swimming. At the gym already. Geez, mind in the gutter much?

Anyway, I just really kind of like him. He's different, you know? He's all shy and everything. He'll do anything if I ask him to, which I admit is kind of cool, but I try not to take too much advantage of him. But he's not like a total wimp or anything. Misty's little boyfriend's mom told me he like totally told off the Mayor of Pallet's son. Yes, I DO mean the Gilbrat. I know, I wish I could have been there too.

And Tracey's just so sweet when he talks about taking care of all the Pokémon at the lab. You can tell he totally loves them. Oh, oh, like, he's got this Scyther, it's so old it got kicked out of its Scyther-tribe, right? Tracey caught it 'cause it was in such bad shape, he had to take it to a Pokémon Center, and then he helped it defend its swarm and get its confidence back. Misty told me all about it, she was totally impressed. Anyway, Scyther is still old (like duh, it's not gonna get younger, is it?) but Tracey still has it, and he doesn't mind that it can only battle for so long before it gets all tired out and everything. He has total respect for its dignity. How many guys his age would be that considerate of a Pokémon that couldn't win battles for them?

I like that he's like that. You know, looking beneath the surface of stuff and everything. It makes me think he might even like me if I wasn't so gorgeous.

Look, I already SAID the laughing thing distracts me. Could you like, TRY to keep a lid on it?

Anyway, that's my problem. I like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes me. At least, he blushes if I get close to him. Though I guess that could be just hormones. I mean, you'd never know he has them, he's so polite, but he's seventeen, you know? They have to be in there somewhere.

Huh? Oh, who CARES if he's younger than I am? It's only three years, that's like, nothing. Besides, he's so mature, and I'm so...well, not. So we actually match up totally well.

Actress-models don't have it easy. The entertainment world is full of phonies and jerks who are great liars...how can they not be great at it? They lie for a living. They lie so much about themselves they don't remember what the truth is anymore.

Tracey isn't like that. What he feels is right there, as plain as it can be...it wouldn't occur to him to hide it.

And it's not because he's younger than me, either. His boss, Professor Oak, is like ten years older than Dialga, but he's totally the same way. I mean, you can just look at him, and right below his wrinkles you can see this little boy who still thinks Pokémon are really, really cool.

Tracey's like that. I know he'll never be anything but himself, and I know he'll never hurt me.

Oh, why do I have to care about what everyone else thinks?! I used to think I actually had hidden depths, but now I find out that deep down, I'm shallow.

I'm really confused here. What do you think I should do?

Huh? Have I asked him about it?

Like, are you nuts?! "Hey Tracey, I like, find you cute and all, but I'm such a bimbo I can't imagine being seen in public with you, what should I do?"

Especially since it's totally clear he doesn't feel that way about me. I mean, you'd think a smart and talented guy like him would be ashamed to be seen with a dumb blonde Lopunny, but he isn't. He even seems to think that me producing our water shows means that I have some kind of talent, too. After the Lovedisc ballet, when I was thanking him for his help and all, he said he was glad to help out a fellow artist. Fellow artist. Can you believe that? From a real artist, like him and all.

What?

Oh, yeah! What, I didn't mention he was an artist? Oh wow, how like totally airheaded of me! Yeah, he sketches stuff all the time! Look, here, here's a little drawing he did of me and my Lovedisc...

You know, now that you mention it, it's not so bad to think of introducing him as "My boyfriend, the artist." Artists are allowed to be a little dorky, right?

Huh?

What do you mean, "no?!" They are, too!

Well, it's just too bad! Because my artist IS a little dorky, and I like him anyway, and the rest of the world can just get used to THAT.

Like, what are you laughing at now?

Honestly, I think caffeine and sugar makes you loopy. That's the last time I treat you to a frappuccino. It, like, makes you totally unsympathetic to talk to.

Though, now that I think about it, I do feel better. I can't imagine why.

What do you mean, I'll figure it out soon enough?

Like, could you be more cryptic? Never mind. Let's just go back to that dress shop. I saw this uber-cute little green thing, it's got like tiny Grass-types embroidered across the bustline. I bet I could totally make Tracey blush just by wearing it. Let's go, already.

And stop that laughing.