So,This is how I thought the season finale should have went and what I wish would happen in season three. Also, I had to use a lot of dialog from the last episode, or it wouldn't have made a lot of sense, but I don't own any of it, or the characters, all of the credit goes to the creators at BBC.
"Well, that's us.." I said awkwardly, biting my lip a bit. As much as I thought I loved Cal, I loved her a lot more, and I was going to tell him, even if it killed me.
"Yeah, just your standard groups of sisters." He chuckled lightly, flashing me his warm smile. I shrugged my shoulders, returning the smile as casually as I could.
"Yeah, I think so." I turned to face him, leaning against the wall, looking up at him as he spoke. Telling me he was going to be around, to help out with Kira and the bone marrow. "I don't think we can do that for another six weeks.." I interrupted, frowning slightly.
He nodded his head, letting out a sigh "Oh.." He said lamely, looking down a bit, before his eyes came back up to look at me.
I took a shaky breath, looking at him trying not to cry. "I don't know what's going to happen to Cosima.." I looked down, biting my lip hard. I could hear him getting closer as he let out another sigh, but before he could touch me, before he could make this any harder than it had to be, my head snapped up. "I love her..." I whispered, a tear slipping down my cheek.
"Well, of course you love her, she's basically your sister." He let out a soft chuckle, towering over me with that smile of his, making my heart crack just a little, but certainly not enough to lead him on.
"No, Cal...I really love her." I insisted, looking him in the eye, as if that would some how, make it sink in. "More than a sister or a clone, or whatever we are to each other..I don't know why..I just do." I blurted out, trying to make him understand.
I could see it on his face, as it all sunk in, his features went from playfully calm, slowly morphing into hurt, it made my heart lurch in my chest. He just nodded and offered me a sad little smile. "Well, I wish you two the best, even if it's a little hard to wrap my head around, I'll still be around for you all." He brought his hand up, to ruffle my hair, before kissing my cheek.
I managed to muster a smile and a small thank you before he walked off, leaving me leaning against the wall, tears dripping from my chin. No matter how kind he was being, I knew I had hurt him, and hurt him bad. "Well..that was enlightening." Felix purred, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.
I sniffed and shook my head, pulling him into a hug, burying my face in his shirt, just letting it all out for a few moments as he ran his fingers through my hair, kissing the top of my head until had calmed down. "I dunno if this is a good time, or even a good idea, but Art, has someone down stairs that really wants to meet her sisters."
I pulled away, my brow furrowing as my brain tried to process the information until I came to the obvious conclusion that it had to be Helena down stairs and despite everything that had happened, a small smile formed on my lips. "I'll go get her." I said, wiping my face as he nodded, letting me know he would wait until I got back to go in.
As I walked down the steps, I recited random lyrics in my head, trying to clear my thoughts, before I came upon Art, leaning against the wall, Helena holding onto his jacket sleeve. For some reason the sight made me giggle, a little too much, ending with them both looking at me like I was mad.
"I'm sorry, it's just an odd sight." I managed, grinning at the pair, before Helena came over and wrapped me up in her arms, for a slightly awkward, bear hug. "I've got it from here, Art, go home and sleep, you look like you need it." I smiled at him, allowing Helena to hold my hand as I waved the other at him.
"Thank you, you guys have a nice night, okay? Keep me posted on any new information." He offered a tired smile, before departing, leaving me with my twin.
"Promise you'll be on your best behavior?" I asked her as we ascended the stairs, her hand still in mine, making me feel like a protective older sister.
"I promise, seestra." She smiled, her accent just as thick as always. I nodded my head and let her hand go, as Felix opened the door.
He walked in first, a cheeky smile on his face as he moved aside, allowing Helena to enter. She set a bag down and looked up, I could sense the caution in her movements as she looked around at the occupants of the loft.
"Helena," Felix purred as he walked over to Cosima, offering her a hand, helping her up off the couch. I closed the door, slipping the screwdriver into the slot as Cosima whispered a soft oh my god before standing up straight.
I leaned against the door, watching my clones interact. "This is your sister, Cosima." Felix introduced them as Cosima let go his hand, offering Helena a smile.
"You, should not be up.." Helena mumbled, looking at her sister, worry on her face. It made me smile just a bit, seeing her already relaxing, taking a protective stance toward Cosima.
"I'm up." Cosima smiled, shaking her head slightly, dismissing her clone's worry. "Come here." She said softly, pulling the blonde into a hug, which she returned, only slightly. "You're very beautiful." Cosima commented, making me smile.
"Thank you.." Helena replied, rather awkwardly "I like your hairs.." I watched her smile slightly as Cosima chuckled softly, returning the compliment, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"Helena, this is your other sister, Alison." Felix interrupted, with his warm 'big brother' smile, as Alison unfolded her arms, looking more out of place than her bushy haired clone.
"Hello, Helena.." She paused, shaking her head a bit, holding out a hand "Lovely to meet you.." Helena took it gently, giving it a little shake, before replying with her own awkward greeting, as Cosima chuckled once more.
Felix came over and squeezed my shoulder, getting me to smile once more, before I turned my attention back to my clones. "You are married?" The Ukrainian asked, making Alison smile warmly.
"Yes, oh yes, very much so, to Donnie.." She smiled, relaxing just a bit as Helena replied that she would be married one day. "It's very rewarding, if you can make it through the rough patches." Alison informed her, nodding her head.
We all turned our heads toward Kira as she called out "Auntie Helena!" Running toward the Ukrainian, who knelt scooped her up into her arms, before kneeling down, hugging her tightly, setting her on her own two feet. "I thought you ran away from us." Kira spoke, looking a little sad.
"I came back to see your little face." Helena grinned as Kira held up her hand, to which she pressed her own hand against. "I'm so happy to see you, I'm going to eat your fingers." The blonde teased, nibbling the little one's fingers as she giggled.
I wasn't the only one in the room, touched by their interaction, everyone one else wore the same, soft, warm smile, that I myself did. We could all feel the love radiating from the two. When Felix asked if Helena was alright, I just shook my head a bit, a soft chuckle escaping my lips as I replied. "Yeah."
The night was going pretty smoothly, Kira was coloring by the bed, Fee was off doing his thing and Helena and Alison seemed to be getting along pretty well. It wasn't until Cosima got up, that I refocused on her.
She took her cannulas out, hanging them off the handle of her oxygen cart, making me frown as she started the music. I went to say something, until I saw her body start to move, at first it was just her hands, but then Felix popped over, twirling her slowly, giving me a look, before I got up as well.
Running a hand through my hair, letting my body loosen up a bit, moving to the beat, looking a little mechanical compared to the way she flowed with the music, and I couldn't keep my gaze off of her. I knew the others had started dancing and out of the corner I could see Kira dancing as well, making me smile.
It wasn't until Felix bumped into me, making me grin, that my gaze moved from Cosima's beautiful dancing. I shoved him gently, but started to dance with him, grinned and laughing gently. It was the most fun I had had since finding out about everything.
Kira really started to move and I couldn't help myself as I called out "Yeah, go Monkey!" Felix and I cheering as Cosima called out as well. I couldn't believe how much I was grinning, I knew my face would hurt later, but it didn't matter, all that mattered was that we were all here and happy and for a time, not in danger.
After all the partying, everyone settled down, Felix crashing on the couch with Kira, Helena curled up on a pile of blankets up by Felix's art and some how I managed to end up in the bed with Cosima, which I was sure Fee had something to do with.
I was curled up on my side, my back facing her as she laid on her back, I could tell by her breathing that she wasn't asleep and I figured that it might make me relax a little if I just talked to her. So I rolled over slowly, trying not to jar her, smiling as she glanced over at me, whispering a soft hey, before her gaze returned to the ceiling.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked softly, leaning on my pillow, looking at her, my face inches away from hers. I could feel the heat rolling off of her, and the soft scent of lavender, I had to stop myself from inhaling deeply, in fear or weirding her out.
"Buckminster Fuller and sacred geometry." She said as if that was something normal people said, but then again, she wasn't exactly normal. I simply rolled my eyes, a playful smile on my face as I laid my head back against the pillow.
"Look." She insisted, holding her right arm up, pushing the sleeve down, revealing what looked like a spiral sea shell. "So this spiral, this is the golden ration, and it's a mathematical pattern, that just repeats itself in nature, in flower petals, honeybees.." She trailed off, tracing the tattoo, before speaking once more. "And you know, the stars in the galaxy, and in every molecule of our DNA." She finished, her gaze never shifting from the ceiling.
"God, we're so different, all of us." I exclaimed softly, completely blow away at what she had just told me. I almost couldn't wrap my head around it, she agreed, her eyes moving as she covered the tattoo once more. "I don't even know how to look at art.." I admitted, not entirely sure why, but it felt right. I could feel her gaze on me and it made me grin "Don't tell Felix." I chuckled softly, looking at her and then away again.
"I won't." She replied softly, lifting her hand up and I couldn't resisted snaking my fingers into hers, holding on as she spoke. "You're the wild type, Sarah, you propagate against all odds, you're restless, you survive."
My heart thudded hard in my chest as our fingers danced together, my eyes moving to watch her face. "I can't do this without you, Cosima.." I admitted softly, fighting back tears, sniffing as I shook my head, her eyes on me.
"You'll be fine." She whispered, my lip trembling as I sniffed again, harder this time as the tears threatened to spill over, mumbling a small yeah in reply before she continued, "You just have to keep moving forward." Her eyes bright, as she squeezed my hand gently.
"Look forward through the looking glass, like Marian bloody Bowles." I snorted as I wiped away the moisture from my eyes. I could hear her let out a breathy chuckle, before retorting "What could go wrong?" Her fingers flexing in mine as she brought our hands down, keeping them entwined.
I sighed softly, looking at the ceiling for awhile, listening as her breathing evened out. I glanced over at her, as soft smile on my face. Even though we all looked alike, she was certainly the most beautiful of us all, the most unique. My heart throbbed as my name passed her lips quietly, before she quieted down.
"I love you.." I whispered as I brought our hands up, kissing the back of hers, before settling back down, closing my eyes.
My pleasant dream, of Cosima, Kira and I, out by the lake, happy and laughing, was interrupted by the bright light streaming in through the window. "Fuck.." I mumbled, bringing my free hand up to shield my eyes.
My left was still intertwined with Cosima's but something wasn't right, hers was cold. As I turned to look at her, it looked as though she wasn't breathing. "Cos.." I said, shaking her shoulder gently. When she didn't stir, my heart dropped into my stomach like a stone, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Cosima..wake up..please.." I pleaded, letting go of her hand to take her glasses off, tossing them onto my pillow, before my hands cupped her face. "Oh god..please..please wake up.." I sniffed, tears dripping from my chin and onto her chest. I sniffed hard, dropping my head down, laying in on her shoulder as I sobbed softly, my whole body shaking.
"Sarah?" She croaked, making my heart flutter, my head snapping up. Her eyes were open, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Sarah, what's wrong?" She asked softly, my body flooding with relief.
"You stopped breathing..I thought you were dead.."I whispered, my hands moving to her face once more, my thumb stroking her cheek slowly. "I thought I lost you.." I managed to get out, tears still streaming down my face.
I couldn't control myself, as I leaned down, pressing my lips to hers. Surprised at the amount of warmth that flowed through me when she responded, her lips moving with mine as her hands tangled into my hair, pulling me impossibly closer.
It certainly wasn't how I planned our first kiss, if I ever managed to gather the courage, but it was wonderful, despite the wetness on my face and the hastiness of it all. When I pulled away, to smile down at her, she flashed me the same, goofy smile she had, the first time we met.
"Well..that's one way to wake up." She chuckled, bringing a hand to cradle my cheek. I rolled my eyes at her, sniffing gently as I leaned into her touch. "I'm sorry, I scared you.." She said softly, her thumb running over my lips as I shook my head gently.
"It wasn't your fault, just..don't ever do it again." I said, my brow furrowing softly. "I don't want to lose you..ever, I.." I trailed off, biting my lip.
"I love you too." She murmured, a knowing look in her eye, and in that moment, I knew she wasn't asleep when I had confessed.
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