Mary stared longingly at Pastor Toastman from her pew in the back of the chapel. She shook back her shoulder-length dark brown hair, hoping to attract his attention. All of the girls in St. John K.'s parish were smitten with the handsome young deacon for his looks, but Mary adored his brains as well. She became so engrossed in her fantasies that it took her a good three minutes to realize that the Sunday Mass was over and that she was the only one left in the pews.
Embarrassed of her short attention span, Mary scurried like a churchmouse to the front of the chapel, finally catching the pastor's eye as she caught up with him.
"Mary, I'm worried about you," said Pastor Toastman. "I didn't see you singing any of the hymns today. I hope you're not thinking ill of the church."
"Oh, no, I would never do that," said Mary.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to alert a couple of the other deacons for your sake," said Pastor Toastman. He called over his colleagues, Pastor George Liquor, American and Pastor Mr. Horse.
"No, sir, I don't like it," said Pastor Mr. Horse.
"I'll bludgeon you with an oar if you rebel against the church!" said Pastor George Liquor, American.
"I think that's taking it a bit far, George," said Pastor Toastman. "Mary, come with me." He walked her into the courtyard.
"How would you like to save the Pope with me?" asked Pastor Toastman. "You see, the evil Muddy Mudskipper has taken him captive!"
"That would save my reputation as a devout, innocent Catholic schoolgirl!" squealed Mary. Rumors of her torrid nights with Jimmy the Idiot Boy were spreading around the parish every day.
"Then let's go," said Pastor Toastman, and transformed into his true identity, Powdered Toast Man. Mary took a sizable slice of powdered toast from her pastor's head, and flew off with him to the Vatican.