|: The Desire Hidden Within :|
A/N : I hope you don't doze off by the time the story is over, and I have no idea how many of you will actually agree with the issue.
Slightly AU. Some facts have been altered.
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The sharp corners of the white envelope seemed to sting her palm as she opened it to reveal the letter inside. She slowly pulled the paper out, her face devoid of any unfathomable expression and stared at it for a few minutes. Though it was a two-page long matter, her eyes only bothered to focus on a selected few words, as though they were the only content displayed in a readable format. 'You have been transferred.' It read in a big dark font.
Lavanya had read it umpteen times before, right since ACP Pradyuman had handed it over to her, his face bearing an unreadable and mixed expression of helplessness and grimness. Still, the words hit her with the same intensity and pain as they had the first time ACP Pradyuman had broken the news to her. It felt as though a strong bright flashlight was being emanated from the paper, burning her eyes temporarily.
Where? Where had she gone wrong? Was the Mumbai CID team dissatisfied with her work? Was she no longer wanted in the team? Was her performance lacking anywhere? Or was it simply the higher authorities' decision?
The questions echoed in her mind, her brain unable to provide the answers for them. She felt as though the voices were being whispered through the walls of her bedroom, and she shook her head vigorously, to clear her mind of the impending doubts.
The sun shone with all its sovereignty, casting comforting warmth over the city. It was a particularly good day to roam outside in the season of fall. However, the bright weather seemed to take no effect on her, as the monstrous turmoil of misery, restlessness and solicitude had taken control over her mind, marking a permanent bruise on it.
Was she just being too frantic for no reason? So many officers keep getting transferred, she pondered over. Then what was it about her transfer that she was taking it to heart? She always wanted to stay with ACP Pradyuman and the others. Nothing can win over destiny, she thought.
Lavanya remembered the day when her friend Kaveri – the only close friend she had – had received the news of her transfer to another city. Kaveri had taken the news a little too casually and upon being asked by Lavanya, she had merely shrugged "New place, new opportunities, new ventures!" She had said.
When Lavanya couldn't come to terms with Kaveri's carefree attitude then, it suddenly struck her now. Kaveri wasn't feeling even a bit perturbed about getting transferred, because she had gotten a chance to prove herself. And the efforts were recognized. They were appreciated.
Kaveri had always been an excellent officer, Lavanya thought without a tinge of doubt. She had always tried her best and was successful in delivering her best. Lavanya recollected the moment when ACP Pradyuman had felicitated Kaveri for her alertness in solving a complicated case. She had been immensely proud of her friend for her achievements.
But, somewhere she had felt sad. She felt dejected. She had put in the same efforts, as Kaveri had. She had sweated her blood with the same desolation. Yet, somehow those pains had always gone unnoticed.
'Lavanya, you could have done better!'
'Is this the way you investigate, Lavanya?'
'Please learn something from your seniors. This is not how you should solve a case!'
She had simply nodded. She felt like punching herself hard in the face. She felt insatiable. At times, she wanted to climb on the centre-table of the CID bureau – the bureau which she would no longer be calling her workplace – and scream 'I know I am not the best! I know I make mistakes. But, just acknowledge the efforts which I have put in!'
She let out a soft laugh, as she thought her desire was no longer of use. For a split second, the agonized face of Freddy floated in front of her, and she sighed. His condition was much worse than hers. Her efforts were, at least, never mentioned. Whereas his pains were mentioned - and mocked.
She, however, had the satisfaction that there will be Vivek to take care of him. She wondered how she will be fending for herself with the entirely new set of colleagues, which she had no idea about. However, she was positive she would learn to deal with it soon, for she had gotten familiar with learning everything the hard way.
Brushing her thoughts aside, she picked up the pile of clothes laid on the bed and resumed packing. No sooner had she finished packing the last bag, then the sharp sound of the doorbell filled the house. Frowning, she went to answer.
She had expected it to be someone from the team, dropping in to wish her a farewell. However, the arrival of the guest which she had was least expected by her. "Dr. Tarika?" She was taken by surprise, as the forensic expert stood at the door with a warm smile on her lips.
"Just came in to check whether you need anything." Tarika supplied. "That's so thoughtful of you, Dr. Tarika!" Lavanya smiled, stepping aside to let the forensic doctor in. Tarika rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Lavanya! I guess you can drop the 'Dr' prefix before my name. Just 'Tarika' will do, all right?" She proclaimed. "Yeah!" Lavanya nodded with a wry smile.
"So, need any help?" Tarika asked, casting a cursory glance around the hall to check if anything needed to be put in place. "It's almost done!" The sub-inspector supplied in a depressed tone, and Tarika couldn't help notice the despair in her voice. "What's wrong? Is anything bothering you?" She asked worriedly, placing a hand on the sub-inspector's shoulder, her eyes fixed on the latter's.
After a few moments of silence, Lavanya took a deep breath and turned to face the forensic doctor. "Shall we talk this over a coffee?" She offered, to which Tarika returned a wary look. "Umm.. ok!" She said.
Once they had settled on the porch in the balcony with their mugs, Tarika came up again. "So, tell me!" She said, blowing on the coffee to let it cool. Lavanya took a sip from her own mug, and averting her eyes, started pouring out her anxieties to the forensic doctor. "Tarika, tell me one thing. Is it wrong to work hard? To receive at least some amount of appreciation?" She let out, her voice suddenly becoming hoarse, and Tarika squirmed in confusion. "Wrong? Why would it be wrong to strive hard? That too, for achieving success?" She shook her head in bewilderment, her stray curls teasing her face as she did so.
The sub-inspector, who had been staring at the forensic doctor till now, trying to figure out whether the latter was too shocked on her question, now looked away. "Then why is it that the work we do, is always thrown out the window, as though it never deserved any importance?" Lavanya looked back at her friend with a questioning gaze.
Sighing deeply, Tarika put her half-empty mug aside, and shifted a bit in her position to face the sub-inspector. "That's because people have a habit of taking us for granted. Initially, they make us do something, we do it without any protests, it thus continues and gradually, both the parties get used to it." Tarika shrugged, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Lavanya gave a slight nod. She knew it was the truth.
"But, you know what?" Tarika continued. "It's not their fault that they take us for granted. In a way, it's our fault that we let them take us for granted." It was now her turn to avert her eyes, as she somehow seemed to empathize with the sub-inspector.
"That doesn't mean that we can just go on killing ourselves, and no one even cares to notice!" Lavanya exclaimed, her features contorting in a frustrated frown. "I have never expected to be as famous or respected as Abhijeet Sir and Daya Sir, or to be the center of attraction in every single case. The most I had expected to get some amount of appreciation for the work in which I have put my heart and soul!" She sighed, the frown on her face now replaced with a demoralized look.
Tarika shook her head, giving a knowing smile. "I get your drift. First, do not compare yourself with Abhijeet or Daya. Or with anyone." She leaned in a bit to emphasize her point. "Remember, you're not born to step in anyone's footsteps! You're born to be yourself! To compete with yourself, not with the rest of the world!" She smiled, and Lavanya tilted her head in an attempt to understand better, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.
Taking a deep breath, Tarika ploughed on. "If you don't believe me, ask Freddy Sir! No one can explain this to you better than him." She looked away, giving a distant smile. "Over the years, I have seen him silently do his work without getting any sort of consideration, suffering the humiliation without any complaints... and still staying dedicated towards himself!" Her voice went downcast, her hand reaching up to her eyes which had now become moist, and Lavanya instantly placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You know why everybody loves Freddy?" Tarika composed herself, looking back at the sub-inspector, who shook her head. "Because he doesn't do anything to gain recognition! He believes in doing work his way... with which he can get satisfied! And no matter however he's insulted.. trust me, he has never learned to give up!" Tarika finished, eyeing the sub-inspector with a deep conviction, and the latter smiled positively for the first time since the forensic doctor had come to her place.
"You're right!" Lavanya gave a confident smile to her friend. "It's never too late to keep trying! Just keeping going your way, and nothing can make you happier!" She said, finally feeling better.
"Plus, it's not your last opportunity, right? You have the entire life in front of you. Some of the other day, your efforts will pay off!" Tarika gave a reassuring smile. "Thank you Tarika! You don't know how better I am feeling after talking to you! I... just thank you!" Lavanya said, keeping a hand on Tarika's, and the latter winked. "I can take your 'thank you's on one condition. Provided you keep in touch with all of us!" She smirked, and Lavanya gave a soft laugh. "Of course! That goes without saying." She assured.
Arranging the pile of clothes in the last bag, Lavanya picked up the picture of her team, reminiscing the moments spent with them during her tenure, and took a deep breath. "It's never too late to keep trying!" She repeated her words confidently in her head, taking a good look at the photograph, before placing it carefully in the bag and closing the zipper.
~~ The End ~~
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A/N : I know, I know. You guys must be thinking I have gone crazy or something. But trust me, the issue prevails us very often as and how we wander in the society. Life looks like a fairytale when seen from the four corners of a room. But, as we step outside in the cruel world, the harsh realities take over us and drown us in the whirlpool of partiality, vendettas and plagiarism.
All of us always face issues of being unnoticed, of being the tortured scapegoat in every single thing. We always have a fear of slogging like donkeys and yet, someone comes and brushes off our efforts as though they were completely irrelevant.
I honestly don't know why I chose Lavanya for this theme. But, no matter if the entire fandom disagrees with me, I had genuinely liked her (for reasons unknown), and considered her, in every way, appropriate to be a CID officer.
Being important or famous doesn't always mean the person is hard-working. The effort which a person puts in the work is what counts the most. And for that, you don't necessarily have to be greatly recognized. That's the reason why I have always adored Freddy, Vivek or Rajat more than anyone else.
I am not expecting any reviews for this. Still, considering the issue, if you think it is valid enough to be pointed out, please let me know your opinions regarding the same.