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Raincloud curled up in a ball and almost cried, it was something she didn't mind that she had never cried in her life and wasn't sure she ever could cry. Everything about her was weird she thought, her eyes, her personality, she wasn't sure when she became like this. Most likely it was when her best and only friend died on a patrol she didn't go on, she decided to sleep in and woke to find poor little Hazelpaw had been attacked by a badger, soon after her father left her without one word. That may not have been exactly how it started but that was when it was full, she didn't cry when the closest thing to a sister she ever had died, she didn't cry when her father left.

She thought of two reasons she didn't cry, she didn't feel whole enough to cry and she didn't want the universe that so loved to punish her the satisfaction of her crying. Once again she almost cried, she had ran away just because she couldn't stay. He had come back and he expected her to just forget all the pain and be glad. The problem was she was glad he was back! But she didn't want to let him know, tell him it was okay to abandon a poor little apprentice who had no other family and no friends, the just show up moons, and moons later.

She was a warrior now and the coldest most anti-social warrior in all of shadowclan. As much as she hates to admit it she had become worse than the terrible queen who raised her. She of course couldn't see it's the same. It's not like I'm neglecting an innocent motherless little kit just because it's was weak and odd. But she was not motherless she reminded herself, that windclan rat was her mother who abandoned her own daughter just because her father was from shadowclan!

No point moping about what I can't change. She told herself, looking around. She had ran far into the mountain, there was nothing interesting to look at except a drop off with a steady rhythmic drip drop drip drop of the stream. It sounded like it would be rather calming but she did not allow herself to be calmed, I work better when I'm stressed. She looked around but saw nothing that could make a home, hopefully temporary. Then she saw it. Nothing special, just a log she could rest in until she figured out what to do. If I turn back now I could say I was just getting some air . . . but that wouldn't help me handle anything. She hissed and kicked a loose rock, sending off the drop off.

"Have a thing against rocks?" a voice broke her train of thought, she looked up.