AN: like i said-its the beginnings of her story.Reviews would be appreciated-itll fuel me on to destruction!...i mean to the end of my story

Disclaimer: i do not own X/1999. The characters are clamp's!

Kasumi Karen's Story Scene 1

The church lies silent and still as the gentle tap tap of heels gradually gets louder, breaking the silence. The tapping pauses at the entrance. Kasumi Karen stands sobre, drinking in the flickering candles, the stained windows of jesus' betrayal and the enormity of the church.

She is dressed in what one would say is more understaed than her usual dress or lack of. Darkly robed she resumed her entrance. At the end of what feels like a never ending aisle she draws her eye up towards the Virgin Mary.

"sigh........"

She lights a candle slowly using another. The flame flickers and goes out.Checking no-one is around she lights the flame herself. She seats herself on the end of a cold hard pew, pulling a much mauled bear out of her bag and seating him also.

"I'm going to pray now Paul-dont go leaving now. You're all i've got. She smiles a dry smile at the realisation she's talking to a bear. She kneels, bowing her head and begins to pray.

"Oh Lord....how can i begin.... Everyday I start here, saying the same things, asking the same things. Yet everyday i end the same way, at the recieving end of a crude stranger attempting to get what he paid for. Getting to know me in a way i dont want him to know.

"Oh Lord....I didnt want this life.I was like any other. I wanted to settle down, have a family, grow old with the man i love. All my dreams centred around him....His soft hair caressing his brow. The twinkle in his eye when my gaze meets his. His gentle character holding respect for women higher than anythingelse..I guessed i ruled out my chances of meeting him by beginning work here. No female respecting man would step foot there.

"Yet here i am again. Please God.....please.........send him to me"

A lone tear courses down her cheek "I didnt want a life like this. I swear.....I'm so sorry.....I'm so sorry" Her body shakes as she sobs. "I hate this. Once i leave this Earth, no-one will notice once im gone. I'll vacate my room and another girl will take my place. I'll die unloved and sent to the burning fires of hell"

Her body shook violently as her cries of apology grew louder and more erratic.She felt an arm around her . Her crying ceased as she looked into the forgiving eyes of the priest. He cradled her chin in his hand saying: "What is the matter child? Why do you grieve so much?"

Karen gripped her cross and shook her head. She grabbed Paul and ran out of the church leaving the priest stunned. As she ran, she failed to notice another woman, crying, covering her face at the back of the church, gasp as Karen ran. Again at the entrance to the church, Karen paused.

...'Could it be? But she died so long ago....but is that not her hair?..her tears?' She turned to look back only to find that the woman had gone.

Flashback

Young Karen has just recieved the news that her mother has died in a car crash.

"Paul?....Paul?!" She says searching for her bear. She sighs in relief as she sees him under that starched white sheet. "Ah, there you are..Paul? What are we going to do? There really will be no one left to shed tears over my grave......its just the two of us now....just the two of us....."

She leans back in her hospital bed and winces at the pain of her cuts and bruises. Alone in the world..total abandonment, Karen fought back hot tears in the cold unyielding hospital clutching the bear which was all she had left of what once was.