~A/N~

This one shot is not something I had planned. It came to me suddenly when I was doing some stuff for a friend. This is a complete AU, and its crack-ish. Oh, and its not related to my other work... Till yet. It was written with that in mind, though. Its a split universe from that universe.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to me about as much as I own you... Do I own you? No. Do I own Naruto?... Let's see...

~SOME TOWN~

A 25 year old Minato was very irritated. On the other hand, his 37 year old Sensei was in heaven. Relatively speaking.

They were standing in front of a common bath house. While that was not unusual for ninja's in training, the unusual thing here was that males generally went towards the opposite section. Correct, both of them were standing outside the women's section of the bath house, with one of them way happier than the other.

"Sensei…" said Minato with a twitch. His sensei, Jiraiya, just giggled, saying, "Come here, Minato. This is the most important phase of the training. You cannot survive in the world without this knowledge." As he beckoned Minato to come near him, pointing to a hole in the fence.

Minato sighed, and slowly walked towards it, while muttering, "But I don't need to". Nevertheless Jiraiya heard Minato say that and froze. Jiraiya staggered back, from his viewing point, and fell on his bum. "What?" He whispered. Minato just face-palmed at his master's melodramatic eccentricities. But then he smirked.

"Yeah! Unlike you, who has to pay to get laid, I have a beautiful WIFE. And I have done all that your books suggest, and more, already-"Minato's face changed suddenly. He gave Jiraiya a dark glare and shouted, "Damn it Sensei!" at Jiraiya, who was looking at Minato with a gleam in his eye, and a notebook and a pen in his hands.

Jiraiya giggled perversely, "Why? What happened? Please continue! And please, my dear student, don't leave out anything." If possible, Minato's face turned even darker. But apparently, Jiraiya did not notice.

Jiraiya giggled in anticipation."You mean Kushina, right? Such a beautiful and flexible lady. No wonder you denied. Ah! My student suddenly seems all grown up." Jiraiya sobbed "I have decided to pass the mantle of the Toad Sage to you. I have nothing left to teach you." as he broke down.

Wait...

"The fuck?!" Shouted Jiraiya. He had not just broken down figuratively. Minato had attacked Jiraiya, and broken his arms. Jiraiya jumped back up, and looked around in fear. But he couldn't, for the life of him, see anything, as complete black surrounded him.

'Some basterdized version of the Hiding in the Mist Justu? Who taught that to Minato? No wait… its not-', thought Jiraiya, when he his thoughts were interrupted, with a Rassengan. In. THE GROIN!

Jiraiya flew back, even as his that area hurt like hell, but he couldn't even move his arms to try and sooth the pain. 'Come-on! Minato couldn't be that angry right? But he used a Rassengan, so it can't be a transformation, right? So… KAI!... No... My han-' Sadly Jiraiya was interrupted again, this time he saw Minato launch a fire dragon bullet straight at his-

"NO! MINATO ARE YOU KIDDING MEEE" Shouted Jiraiya, as he attempted to dodge. He got no response from his legs, but fortunately, they gave way, and he fell down. Jiraiya missed the bullet, though just barely.

As Jiraiya was lying, Minato walked up to him speaking, "Sensei, you just wasted my show stopper. No problem, I have something special in mind, anyways." As he held out his hand, and formed a Rassengan. He said, "Say hello to my ODAMA RASSENGAN!"

Jiraiya looked at it in pure horror. He saw Minato coming nearer and nearer, and then he shouted in desperation, "DAMNIT FORGIVE ME! THE WOMEN FROM THIS DAY ARE ALL MY MISTRESSES!" and then he fainted.

~OUTSIDE THE GENJUTSU~

Jiraiya started to fall, and Minato ran to catch him, while smirking at himself. He had cured his Sensei of his perverseness. It was something the Sandaime had trouble doing, and turned into a pervert in the end, himself. He chuckled lightly, thinking to himself in amused tone, 'The world will remember Namikaze Minato!'

He slung the body of Jiraiya around his shoulder, and prepared to Hiraishin away, when he noticed a group of women, most clad in just towels, looking at him. Then they started clapping, a few at first, and then all of them. He looked at them, bewildered, and then remembered that Jiraiya had actually shouted the last part aloud.

See? This is what happens when you are popular. News spreads like wildfire. Someone must have seen them, and announced it to the whole world.

Minato gave them his 'fall for me, I am a pretty boy' smile, and then Hiraishin-ed to Tsunade. When he reached her, he dropped Jiraiya's body on to her. Her face turned from shock to anger, and she was about to go on a frenzy, when she noticed that Jiraiya was unconscious, and his body was heating. Surprisingly, his hands still managed to land on her breasts, but he was 100 per cent unconscious.

Well, he did always say that he was a super pervert.

Tsunade held her head in her hands and asked, "Where this time?" Minato just smiled in response, and said, "Look for it yourself."

She dropped Jiariya's body and looked at Minato sternly. Minato said, "Practice went too far, and he lost consciousness." Tsunade looked at Jiraiya's body, and then looked at back at Minato, which caused him to shrug and say, "Genjutsu practice, I am getting better."

He went towards the door, but stopped to say, "Oh, and I am going, he is your responsibility now" and Hiraishin-ed before Tsunade could grab him. She could only screamed, "Damn you, grand uncle!"

Minato Hiraishin-ed through a few places, and reached his home. When he entered the living room he saw Kushina glaring at him. She whispered with force, "Minato… glad that… you came…" Minato stood in shock, looking at Kushina, as she had never looked weaker than now. Kushina looked at Minato in desperation, "It… looks like… little…Naruto… wants to… say hello…" said in between gasps of pain. This jerked him out of his stupor.

"YOU ARE IN LABOR?!" Minato, all but shouted. He quickly created a few Kage Bunshins and ordered him to bring Lady Biwako and co. to the site.

"It's time…" whispered Minato to himself.

Elsewhere, Jiraiya suddenly woke up and he found himself in an unknown place. Then all the previous events, as he remembered them, came back to him. Jiraiya suddenly jumped from the bed he was on, checked out his body, and then sighed in relief, saying, "Glad I can cum"

"What was that?" said Tsunade, who was all the while sitting in the room. Thinking quickly, he said, "I mean I am glad I could come, Tsunade-Hime", thanking his stars that after that horrific nightmare, he was greeted by an angel... A 40 years old angel, but an angel none the less. Then huskily added, "and for your great services, I offer you a night."

When he saw Tsunade twitch, and added, "O-o-of d-d-drinks." With a stutter.

"Oh? Ok then." Said she, and Jiraiya gave a bigger sigh of relief than before. She smirked at him, and kicked him towards the pub.

"Well, this sure saves time.", said Tsunade, even as Shizune rolled on the floor laughing.

~A/N~

Well, I did say its crack-ish. It was just for fun. So do leave your thoughts, in the form of reviews, when you read it.