The Human Man Part 2.3.5รท1+1-0.3.5= 3! *Checks calculator* YES THATS RIGHT
It has bin nearly um well over un year since the last adventure of the Human Man, he was fighting the almighty villainous Bad Guys who was known as... Well we dont know his name we know the Bad Guys as the Unknown Voice!
'Ahhhh that was so fu*cking nice mate' casually said the human man sitting in super mcpizza burger land. He was having a nice pleasant play with his... Sandwich, he ate it and felt all the tasty juices n sh*t slide down his humanly throat, he stood up then walked home, he thought to himself 'Jesus, I am so lonely, i want a w*nk buddy but all my buddies are the Bad Guys :'(' so the human man called a bunch of his best friends round to his house :), his newly added partner in crime known as Demonic Strret Clarence Tregigaglis was a very Good Bad friend.
So him and his best friend was said 'Ueh Humin mint, uh , why no we buy good bad guy costume, are we Bad Good Guys? Or uh, are we Good Good Guys?' Demonic Street Clarence Tregigaglis said.
'Fuck youhhhhhhhhhh!' the Human man screamed with a vengeance, he didnt want to say Demonic Street Clarence Tregigaglis over and over so he picked up a dildo* and then he slammed the di*ldo down Demonic Street Clarence Tregigagliseses Nostril.
THEN, all of a sudden, the human man woke up, he was like UH. It turns out it was all a bad good dreams.
Chapter 2
What REALLY happened in not the human mans bad good dream
Previously on human man story
'Nooooooo' shouts the human man after Big Buff throwed the pole at humam man.
What human man didnt realise was the pole contained knock in gas which knocks your block off then you fall unconcsious, EVEN if it missed you by 6.14 metres.
The human man awoke slowly to the sound of big buffs um, fapping to some buff sandwiches.
'YEAHHH THAT'S RIGHT YOU BUFF SANDWICH YOU TAKW THAT LETTUCE YEA, OH GOD THATS SO BLOODY NAUGHTY WITH THE MAYONNAISE'
The human man was puzzled by the unknown voices weird thingy. So he quickly slid his hand down his pants and pulled out his rather big bop it.
'oie big mate, take this and um...' due to human mans brain problems he couldnt think of a cumback to say to the big buffs unknown voice.
Suddenly there was a big ass explosion in Bumgellatropetan city! 'Got to dash heidy!' the human man said skipping away like a pussy.
The human man arrived at the scene where this BIG ASS WOMANS ASS EXPLODED. There were people in this world, people with big asses that explode, people covered in shit from the big asses womans exploding ass, scientist people, and don't forget the human mans best friend the police force!
'Oie best mate, um police force' shouts the human man ontop of a building.
The entire poice force turn around and casually say 'oh no, dont do it, dont jump, please, you have so much to um... Live for... Yes that' the police force turn around and pretend they don't know the human man.
'DO WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!' SAYS THE HUMAN MAN CALMLY WITH HIS MOUTH.
The human man devices to get off the top of the building so he turns around and goes to step off the ledge... SUDDENLY A MONKEY DECIDED TO LEAVE A BANANA SKIN WHERE THE HUMAN MANS FOOT IS GOING TO STEP.
The human man 'accidentally' steps on the banana skin and slips off the building.
'Whoops' says the human man.
COULD THIS BE THE END OF THE MAN HUMAN?
CUD CRIME FINALLY OF BEAT HIM?
WILL HIS LADDER EVER GET BETTER FROM HAVING A COLD?
god damn it its human man he never f*u*cking dies does he -.-
Chapter 3
Dawn of the human man
It had been just over a few minutes after human man crash landed into the bouncy castle and survived. Very unfortunate for the 6.2 kids that didnt make it that were on the bouncy castle.
Anyways on with the best selling novel human man. Please pick up your $35.20 copy from the video store, Yes we do in book avertisments, we thought, its not just sites and videos and games we need to advertise on, we should do in advertisement ads in books, also head down to youe nearest tesco and get a free $5 packed bag of bananas, you can only receive this promotion if you spend over $2000 in colouring books.
Anyyyyyways because of the advertisment the human man has been gone for 2 hours now. He was humannapped by BAD GUYS, they were doing a series of tests on him trying to find out why he didnt die like ever, and why he has special powers which give him dis'abilities.
They thought to themselves, 'Oh go to hell human man your so bad with jokes i mean whats this even mean, knock knock, whos there, human, human who? No... Human man, wtf that is one of the most terrible jokes in all of history' (Just to mention human mans joke made it into the 2012 world book of records as the most hated joke in history)
2 years suddenly past!
The human man arose from being asleep for 2 years
Unfortunstely he had a stiff back and when he arose his back snapped in half, due to brain problems he thought he had an itch in his back so he ignored it. He whailed out the door saying 'Wheyhayyyy'. He saw with his eyes that the world had no normal humans, bad guys, or good guys, only... Zombimans :OOOOO.
The human man was so shocked he shat in his pants, he walked like a penguin holding the rest of the shat in his pants so it wouldnt slide down his leg. THEN the human man saw a zombimans, they were attracted to the smell of shat. The human man ran like crazy with lots of shat falling and flying out of his pants, the human man left a trail of shat behind him so the zombimans could follow his shat and eat it along the way.
'UH' said the human man wondering why he needed to shat, he got a plug and shuffed it up his... Cave, so he couldnt shat.
There was no escape. Could the human man find a way to bring the human man race back to the world?
Would he figure out how not to shat his pants?
Would he find out where his bop it game was?
What HAPPENED to man bat? Was he innocently killed by zombimans? Or was he just hiding in someones cave for safety?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN DIE HARDMAN 4.0
Seriously another book? I mean come on why carry on with this bullfrap books? Why would he shove a plug up his behind? No one does that uhhhh. If i was the writer of these disgusting books, i would ask someone to fu*king shoot me in the head, like right no...' He was shot dead
Tune in next week (two years) for the next action of the human mans?!